To what extent do you cater to adult picky eaters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cater to their preference for one night (meat and potatoes). Then take out so they can choose what they want. Or, "I'm making xyz, if that doesn't work for you, I have extra burgers in the freezer if you'd like to make something else.

I understand a general "I don't care for fish" but funny shaped pasta? No.

Aren't you worried that funny-shaped pasta would taste funny and possibly require a special funny-shaped fork?

Well crap, NOW I am! Take out it is!

[Anonymous]

I will definitely accommodate anyone who is a houseguest, even if I think their food thing is dumb. If it’s too much, that means you agreed to host too long.

I can and would throw money at the problem though and just have lots of whatever easy food the person likes so they can fix themselves a turkey sandwich or whatever. Or I make a tenderloin but have a rotisserie chicken for the person who doesn’t eat red meat. That kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

If it's once a year, I accommodate. But I also want my guests to have a wonderful time when they visit me and my DH and kids. To me life is frequently about the memories.

[Anonymous]

I will accommodate specific dislikes such as “I don’t care for fish” or “red meat is unappetizing to me”. But if I make a meat, a starch, and a vegetable, and a dessert, you can find something to fill your stomach with and if not, you can quietly make yourself a sandwich and that’s also fine but I would feel super bad about it.

[Anonymous]

My in laws are super picky and basic eaters. I do accommodate them when they visit because I want them to feel welcomed. I end up doing pasta and sauce and salad one night, a taco bar with a ton of options another, whatever holiday meal we are celebrating another, one meal out or takeout, and then usually they’re gone. If they were staying longer I may have to get more creative. But I think picking their favorite pasta shape is an easy way to show you care about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't. Picky adult eaters have 3 options:

- eat what I make/order/serve
- pick around what I eat/order/serve
- bring or make their own food, and clean up after themselves.

OP here. I think I’m ready to go into this mode.

And to another PP’s point, yes it really is a lot for a week of cooking for two houseguests (all meals and snacks) and at least 4 “bigger dinners” with the other visitors. My nuclear family alone is 5 people, so even the volume for 9 people is challenging, plus on top of that I do at least one meal where my local cousin and her family of 5 comes over as well. So even grilling is quite a volume game.

I can’t even ask DCUM for advice because the typical “baked ziti” and “chicken shawarma” will not work for my Dad especially.

Adding a side dish of potatoes to every meal isn’t too onerous. With the addition of more people, I usually add in another side dish or two anyway. I would grill up a few more chicken breasts or pork chops or whatever and reheat them on another night, if need be.

[Anonymous]

I think people are missing the point about what IS, actually difficult about “just pick the pasta shape they like.”

Making something like a pasta bake with ziti, sausage, tomatoes, mozzarella and spinach and having it assembled and ready to pop in the oven is a nice way of making ahead and getting ready to feed a crowd. When someone is so inflexible that no it can only be spaghetti, that’s a bit more limiting.

Or when you’ve run out of other ideas and people are still availing themselves of your hospitality after multiple days as houseguests, it’s really limiting to be like “actually I don’t like chicken.” As if no one else matters, and no one else wants to eat beef again.

OP, I think you should cook whatever pleases you and let the pickies pick around or make their own sandwich. As long as your kitchen is open to them, they have zero room for complaint.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

[Anonymous]

wtf do you need to eat pasta that isn’t spaghetti? Maybe you’re the picky eater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

We have a bit of a pasta shape issue in my family. One person with sensory sensitivity does not like ridged pasta (penne, ziti). One with fine motor delays doesn’t like spaghetti or linguini because he can’t manage the twirl. And I personally don’t care for farfalle because I feel like the middle is never cooked right and the ends retain water and ruin the sauce. Precovuf it was easy to find stuff but it’s getting more challenging as a lot of manufacturers cut down on their shapes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

You clearly don’t know anyone with ARFID. My teen would starve herself to fainting rather than eat food with textures she can’t tolerate. All of these neurological problems are getting more and more prevalent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

We have a bit of a pasta shape issue in my family. One person with sensory sensitivity does not like ridged pasta (penne, ziti). One with fine motor delays doesn’t like spaghetti or linguini because he can’t manage the twirl. And I personally don’t care for farfalle because I feel like the middle is never cooked right and the ends retain water and ruin the sauce. Precovuf it was easy to find stuff but it’s getting more challenging as a lot of manufacturers cut down on their shapes.

Ah okay, I take it back.

[Anonymous]

If they are otherwise lovely people, i accommodate. Because i love hosting and being a gracious host. In my experience there are few picky eaters who are also chill in other aspects of their lives. Old people set in their ways are ok and we see them rarely enough im fine making what they would like. I usually make a side dish that mostly only i will eat because i want to accommodate me too

[Anonymous]

I think people like this are fine eating the same “safe foods” over and over again. They don’t care about having meal variety. So I’d make a big batch of the 2 things they eat, then when you have subsequent dinners, they can go back and have a scoop of leftover meatloaf if they don’t want to eat the fish dinner or whatever. I also find it highly annoying that these folks are typically NOT the ones doing the hard work of thinking of the meals, shopping for them, preparing them or cleaning them.