To what extent do you cater to adult picky eaters?

[Anonymous]

For guests, I cater, even if the guest is family. Your dad's accommodations are not even that big of asks. It's very easy to prepare meat & potatoes, no weird pasta -

- spaghetti with meatballs

- roast chicken, with roasted small potatoes (add other roasted vegetables on the side for the rest of you)

- meatloaf & mashed potatoes

- BBQ pork or ribs with potato salad

- grilled chicken

- hamburgers and fries

Sure it's not exciting or palate expanding, but it's just for a visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

You clearly don’t know anyone with ARFID. My teen would starve herself to fainting rather than eat food with textures she can’t tolerate. All of these neurological problems are getting more and more prevalent.

Because people have the time and luxury to be this way. A truly hungry person won't starve themselves to death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

You clearly don’t know anyone with ARFID. My teen would starve herself to fainting rather than eat food with textures she can’t tolerate. All of these neurological problems are getting more and more prevalent.

Why is this, though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will definitely accommodate anyone who is a houseguest, even if I think their food thing is dumb. If it’s too much, that means you agreed to host too long.

I can and would throw money at the problem though and just have lots of whatever easy food the person likes so they can fix themselves a turkey sandwich or whatever. Or I make a tenderloin but have a rotisserie chicken for the person who doesn’t eat red meat. That kind of thing.

This. If it's too much, suggest an air b&b, OP. As the host, it's not that hard to cook meat and vegetables for an elderly house guest. If you feel such resentment and hostility already, change the arrangements.

[Anonymous]

I used to teach preschool with a diverse population. The kids all brought their lunches. The Asian kids always had the most diverse/healthy/unique lunches and they always ate it. One can assume that it’s because picky eating is not tolerated in their families OR the families sent food they knew their kids would eat (even if it looked different than what the American kids were eating). My 3rd theory is that their food is the tastiest so why would they reject it?

All that to say, I think there have always been picky eaters and there are in every country. Some can grow out of it with the right exposure and parenting guidance and some won’t because of coddling or they have true food and texture intolerances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t think a few days would be that hard. Do you have a grill?

Chicken
Pork chops
Steak
Chicken salad :)
Roast beef sandwiches
Hamburgers
Spaghetti and meatballs
Roast chicken from the grocery

Men hate chicken salad unless you put grape nuts and celery in it.

And grocery store rotisserie chicken will kill you, it's so unhealthy. OP no need to murder your family b/c of their limited palates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't. Picky adult eaters have 3 options:

- eat what I make/order/serve
- pick around what I eat/order/serve
- bring or make their own food, and clean up after themselves.

OP here. I think I’m ready to go into this mode.

And to another PP’s point, yes it really is a lot for a week of cooking for two houseguests (all meals and snacks) and at least 4 “bigger dinners” with the other visitors. My nuclear family alone is 5 people, so even the volume for 9 people is challenging, plus on top of that I do at least one meal where my local cousin and her family of 5 comes over as well. So even grilling is quite a volume game.

I can’t even ask DCUM for advice because the typical “baked ziti” and “chicken shawarma” will not work for my Dad especially.

1. Don't Host. You sound very put out. I hope your kids don't revisit this sentiment on you someday.
2. Eat out.
3. Grill basic meat every day for your dad. Have him "man the grill."
4. Your brother lives local. He can go home and eat if he does not like what you are serving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

Normal? Fish smells horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zero

Picky eaters are the worst of the worst people. Total joy killers how have infantile palates. I would in invite everyone except them.

If they come, they can go pound white bread in the corner all by themselves.

Picky eaters are totally annoying losers.

How do you separate picky from other food choices like vegetarian or low carb or other non allergy/medical preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people like this are fine eating the same “safe foods” over and over again. They don’t care about having meal variety. So I’d make a big batch of the 2 things they eat, then when you have subsequent dinners, they can go back and have a scoop of leftover meatloaf if they don’t want to eat the fish dinner or whatever. I also find it highly annoying that these folks are typically NOT the ones doing the hard work of thinking of the meals, shopping for them, preparing them or cleaning them.

In my experience, these people absolutely will not eat leftovers.

I also have a bit of an issue with what types of food relatives want to eat. My family has more of a cold breakfast- yogurt, fruit, bread and jam, some meats (I mean sliced or my favorite would be lox) and cheeses. One set of family members wouldn't touch any of that with a 5ft pole. They need bacon, sausage, pancakes, eggs potatoes. They don't even like toast which I thought could be a compromise. They call our breakfasts "froo froo food". It's really annoying because we spend like 30 min cooking, 30 min eating, 30 min cleaning up just from breakfast. My family was used to not eating much and having a larger lunch and dinner (and yes, I have small kids). Those people stuff themselves at breakfast and don't eat lunch. I struggle to eat breakfast (I just don't feel hungry and food seems to upset my stomach) so I just got used to packing myself a sandwich for lunches because no lunch was forthcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zero

Picky eaters are the worst of the worst people. Total joy killers how have infantile palates. I would in invite everyone except them.

If they come, they can go pound white bread in the corner all by themselves.

Picky eaters are totally annoying losers.

How do you separate picky from other food choices like vegetarian or low carb or other non allergy/medical preferences.

NP. I accommodate vegetarian. Low carb? They can eat what we eat but without bread. Usually they eat a chicken or even a cheeseburger without a bun. My family always cooks low fat, but if someone is on a diet, that's on them to just eat less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

Normal? Fish smells horrible.

What a boorish thing to say.

[Anonymous]

My DH is a very picky eater but he never really tells anyone. He always brings food he likes in his suitcase and just eats that if the meal doesn't work for him.

It took my parents years to realize he was picky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

You clearly don’t know anyone with ARFID. My teen would starve herself to fainting rather than eat food with textures she can’t tolerate. All of these neurological problems are getting more and more prevalent.

Because people have the time and luxury to be this way. A truly hungry person won't starve themselves to death.

This is the dumbest comment.

You are probably right about some people. Some people with AFRID would in fact eat enough to not die after days without access to their preferred food. On the other hand, it's easy for AFRID to turn into anorexia, the most fatal mental illness, when hunger signals get turned off due to prolonged access to food, so there probably will be a significant minority who doesn't survive.

But beyond that, is that actually the standard that we have for our guests? If they survive, everything is fine? So, if a kid's hunger and anxiety about food is so all consuming that they don't learn anything, or if an adult does long term damage to their body from malnutrition, but they both survive than you've done your job as a host, and you should be proud that you didn't cook a hamburger or change pasta shapes?

In my house, the goal of inviting people to visit, is that we all enjoy each other's company, and serving food that people will eat today, not food that they might eat if they had no access to any other food for a week and were starving, is part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the pasta shape thing. The adult picky eaters I know have aversions to tastes or textures (and are willing to try new things, they just often don’t like them), but ziti tastes like farfalle, doesn’t it?

The different kinds of pasta thing is a texture thing.

I personally think picky eaters have a personality defect and it's infantile. My dad is very picky too and my mom went out of her way to cater to it. We're very close and they come over weekly to eat at my house. Guess what? He eats my food. Sometimes I see him make funny faces (he doesn't mean to) as he eats, but he eats it. I do try to have a few things he likes, but I'm not avoiding pasta entirely because he doesn't like it.

I think parents are doing their kids a big disservice by allowing them to be picky eaters. It's one thing to hate weird food (escargot, duck eggs, steak tartare) but normal food like fish and pasta should be fine. I went to a seafood restaurant with a 30 year old once, he asked me how would he know if he had a shellfish allergy. He'd never eaten any seafood, including shrimp in his life. I was stunned.

Normal? Fish smells horrible.

Fish tops the list of foods people do not like. I would not serve it to someone I did not know well.