Are boys supposed to pay for everything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sort of out of touch maybe, but I feel when you're dating in college or in your twenties you split the expenses, may not always. DS 21 in college says he has to pay every time taking GF out also in college, for everything. They both do service jobs and internships. He says that's how it is and if you don't then you're considered a bad guy, says all his friends do too. What's the norm these days.

Feminists don't see that as patriarchal patronizing in things they should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hasn't that always been the norm?

This is 2024.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not the norm.

Nope, not in my DD's social circle. And my DD would not let him do this, she would not see it as fair.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you raised a gentleman OP, you should be proud!

Sorry, this isn't what gentlemen means in 2024. Gentlemen means equal partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not the norm.

Nope, not in my DD's social circle. And my DD would not let him do this, she would not see it as fair.

This^. Unless its a very traditional circle where gender roles are defined, otherwise its a sign of a narcissistic and misogynistic behavior.

[Anonymous]

What part of the country is he in school? In the NE, then they split. In the South or more traditional settings I can see how the guy still pays.

[Anonymous]

i'm 26 and dating around, i never pay they always offer. in past relationships i think the only thing i bought was chipotle one time. i would say it depends on the woman, i've had friends who have split the bill w their dates or girl friends go 50/50 w their boyfriends. i think it honestly depends on the guy and how he feels about the person he is with. i also want to add i offer to pay sometimes and get shut down every single time. i think guys should pay especially if you're on a first date or early stages.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]i'm 26 and dating around, i never pay they always offer. in past relationships i think the only thing i bought was chipotle one time. i would say it depends on the woman, i've had friends who have split the bill w their dates or girl friends go 50/50 w their boyfriends. i think it honestly depends on the guy and how he feels about the person he is with. i also want to add i offer to pay sometimes and get shut down every single time. i think guys should pay especially if you're on a first date or early stages. [/quote]

my first sentence, they actually don't offer they just take the check or pay at the kiosk after asking me what i want. and i have only offered to pay for a dinner one time w long term bf of the time. hope this doesn't come off in a bad way just my experience. plenty of my girl friends have never paid as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how it was when I was in college in the mid 2000s. Just for a historical perspective.

This is not the way it was in my college in the mid 2000s, it was most common to split in the beginning of a relationship, then maybe like alternate paying. It was almost never the guy always paying, except in cases where he was already working and she was still in school. I don’t know of any other scenario where the man was always expected to pay, I think it was considered insulting.

[Anonymous]

Definitely it the not the norm unless she is coming over to scrub his toilets, do his dishes and make sure his dinner is ready when he wants it.

The traditional gender role often only goes one way and is just a way of being disrespectful. Can happen on either side with expectations of what makes one a bad boyfriend or girlfriend - if either expects the other to take on traditional tasks for them without reciprocating their own traditional tasks.

Basically a sign of disrespect. Just like if to be a good girlfriend your daughter had to be obedient and scrub toilets.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I hope she’s putting out on the reg.

[Anonymous]

My daughter often pays for her boyfriend who is putting himself through college. He gets nothing from his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how it was when I was in college in the mid 2000s. Just for a historical perspective.

This is not the way it was in my college in the mid 2000s, it was most common to split in the beginning of a relationship, then maybe like alternate paying. It was almost never the guy always paying, except in cases where he was already working and she was still in school. I don’t know of any other scenario where the man was always expected to pay, I think it was considered insulting.

+1. No girl I knew wanted the guy to pay all the time. They wanted him to know that they didn’t need his money.