Are boys supposed to pay for everything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sort of out of touch maybe, but I feel when you're dating in college or in your twenties you split the expenses, may not always. DS 21 in college says he has to pay every time taking GF out also in college, for everything. They both do service jobs and internships. He says that's how it is and if you don't then you're considered a bad guy, says all his friends do too. What's the norm these days.

Feminists don't see that as patriarchal patronizing in things they should.

When girls abd women aren't charged extra foe being female or paid as much as men then we can talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the goal is a marriage and a family, the guy should pay and pick the dates. If the goal is a "partnership" instead, they should split all costs from the beginning.

One of these is more likely to lead to more grandchildren. Choose accordingly.

I doubt the GF wants the guy to pick all the dates...just pay for them. No college-educated couple behaves this way, even if the guy is paying for everything.

However...you do bring up maybe a good way for this guy to give his freeloading GF a kick in the a**. Tell her that he will pay for everything, but he picks all the dates. He can tell her that she either accepts sports bars, top golf...the occasional strip club (great wings)...chipotle, etc. are where all the dates happen, or perhaps she can pick some dates and pay too.

A guy who takes charge and leads is well received by women, especially modern women. He doesn't even need to tell her what they're doing. Saying he'll pick her up at X time is generally sufficient, provided a normal wardrobe will suffice.

The "college-educated" description misses the fundamental truth. Reminds me how "college-educated" women have certain progressive political beliefs they drop the second they find a conservative man of sufficient value. Women talk a good game about wanting "empowerment," but the second the guy makes enough money they stay at home and assume the traditional role. You especially see this with Harvard Business School grads.

Feminism is a collection of politics designed to get women to behave in unfeminine ways. The fact people still cite that stuff as anything other than unnatural after so many decades is hilarious. We've come a long way from the abuse in the West that understandably drove women to organize in places like Wyoming. People should not use the term feminism as if it means the same thing across decades.

At the start...not when you have been dating for years as the OP has stated.

Sure, there are plenty wealthy SAHM college-educated women, however, many didn't freeload forever off their now husbands when dating, and I guarantee they would have told their now husbands to f**k off if the guy was choosing all their dates for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the goal is a marriage and a family, the guy should pay and pick the dates. If the goal is a "partnership" instead, they should split all costs from the beginning.

One of these is more likely to lead to more grandchildren. Choose accordingly.

I doubt the GF wants the guy to pick all the dates...just pay for them. No college-educated couple behaves this way, even if the guy is paying for everything.

However...you do bring up maybe a good way for this guy to give his freeloading GF a kick in the a**. Tell her that he will pay for everything, but he picks all the dates. He can tell her that she either accepts sports bars, top golf...the occasional strip club (great wings)...chipotle, etc. are where all the dates happen, or perhaps she can pick some dates and pay too.

A guy who takes charge and leads is well received by women, especially modern women. He doesn't even need to tell her what they're doing. Saying he'll pick her up at X time is generally sufficient, provided a normal wardrobe will suffice.

The "college-educated" description misses the fundamental truth. Reminds me how "college-educated" women have certain progressive political beliefs they drop the second they find a conservative man of sufficient value. Women talk a good game about wanting "empowerment," but the second the guy makes enough money they stay at home and assume the traditional role. You especially see this with Harvard Business School grads.

Feminism is a collection of politics designed to get women to behave in unfeminine ways. The fact people still cite that stuff as anything other than unnatural after so many decades is hilarious. We've come a long way from the abuse in the West that understandably drove women to organize in places like Wyoming. People should not use the term feminism as if it means the same thing across decades.

College-educated men and women of higher incomes aren't conservative anymore. They are moderate to liberal for the most part.

I guarantee you HBS skews probably 80%+ democrat, though again would probably describe them as moderates.

[Anonymous]

Freeloading in dates isn't tge way to achieve gender equality, its a way to push it back to 50's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sort of out of touch maybe, but I feel when you're dating in college or in your twenties you split the expenses, may not always. DS 21 in college says he has to pay every time taking GF out also in college, for everything. They both do service jobs and internships. He says that's how it is and if you don't then you're considered a bad guy, says all his friends do too. What's the norm these days.

If a traditional marriage is the aim, in a modern equal marriage, you split equally.

The majority of marriages ( not all) are not equal. Once childten are born the majority of women do the majority of the work and yet now they are expected to have and keep full time jobs.

Marriage is great for men. But a bad deal for women so not encouraging my dds to marry ( at least to men)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC it is 2024

If your DS or DD are dating yes the female pays as well. Anyone who thinks otherwise is ridiculous

You ask. You pay. Plan according. If you can't afford a fancy dinner take her somewhere cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sort of out of touch maybe, but I feel when you're dating in college or in your twenties you split the expenses, may not always. DS 21 in college says he has to pay every time taking GF out also in college, for everything. They both do service jobs and internships. He says that's how it is and if you don't then you're considered a bad guy, says all his friends do too. What's the norm these days.

If a traditional marriage is the aim, in a modern equal marriage, you split equally.

The majority of marriages ( not all) are not equal. Once childten are born the majority of women do the majority of the work and yet now they are expected to have and keep full time jobs.

Marriage is great for men. But a bad deal for women so not encouraging my dds to marry ( at least to men)

Marriage is the best deal for women if they have a great husband. Women who think marriage is a bad deal are upset they couldn't pull more than a beta. As usual, rather than looking in the mirror and blaming themselves, they blame the institution. I seem to remember a movie talking about a lack of reason and accountability with Jack Nicholson saying something similar.

Anyone who would encourage a daughter to marry another woman should be encouraged to look at the domestic violence statistics for lesbian relationships. Of course, if someone is predisposed to thinking such a recommendation is a good idea in the first place, I doubt data would be persuasive.