Spouse wants me to cut contact with my mom

[Anonymous]

I mean your mom sounds awful and it’s of course not okay to leave a sleeping baby alone. She should never be alone with the kids again. On cutting her off, I don’t know, I’d get some therapy. Would your DH never seeing her again be sufficient, could you go see your family alone with the kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems most of your mother's problems are related to your husband. Why is that so?

As far as babysitting goes, she isn't trustworthy so that's not an option anymore.

OP here. We have our own issues and she is like this with everyone.

I’ve always felt she was jealous because I married well and can have the lifestyle that she always wanted. She is just a bitter woman and never happy.

My aunt ( her sister) bought a vacation home and my mom ranted about it for weeks how it must be nice to afford luxury and how she was acting as if she was better than everyone.

I only keep my relationship with my mom because of my dad. I would have cut her off years ago if my dad wasn’t with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean your mom sounds awful and it’s of course not okay to leave a sleeping baby alone. She should never be alone with the kids again. On cutting her off, I don’t know, I’d get some therapy. Would your DH never seeing her again be sufficient, could you go see your family alone with the kid?

OP here. My mom would never go to therapy. She thinks it’s for weak people with made up problems.

[Anonymous]

In marriage we are to forsake all others if necessary. Act accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never let a man isolate you from friends or family.

This. No truer words could be spoken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never let a man isolate you from friends or family.

This. No truer words could be spoken.

OP here. He has never down this. I see my family and friends whenever I want.

He doesn’t like my brother but it doesn’t stop us from hanging out with him. He has never said I couldn’t see my brother.

[Anonymous]

Your mom sounds toxic but it seems you are mainly ashamed of her because of your sensitive husband and well off in laws. Do what makes your life easier. You can't ruin your child's childhood trying to be a referee between your mom and your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean your mom sounds awful and it’s of course not okay to leave a sleeping baby alone. She should never be alone with the kids again. On cutting her off, I don’t know, I’d get some therapy. Would your DH never seeing her again be sufficient, could you go see your family alone with the kid?

OP here. My mom would never go to therapy. She thinks it’s for weak people with made up problems.

You get the therapy, to learn how to deal with her and to discern what you want your relationship with her to be.

[Anonymous]

I don’t blame your husband for not wanting someone that unstable around his kids. He’s probably right. If you want to keep visiting your parents you should do so in your own.

[Anonymous]

If this was reversed, and the husbands MIL left the infant alone, people would have her head, rightfully so. SHE LEFT AN INFANT ALONE TO GET TO GO FOOD. SHE SHOULD NEVER BE LEFT ALONE WITH ANY OF THE CHILDREN AGAIN. I WOULD NEVER LET MY MIL ALONE AND WOULD BE FURIOUS

I can't believe people are siding with your mom. Full break of contact is different, but it seems like your mother is an awful person. And your husband is sick of it, rightfully so. Your choices suck, but seriously, how can you choose a hateful woman who endangered your child over your loving spouse???

[Anonymous]

I read all your posts. If you love your mom, you need to help your dad get her treatment. She needs to be on bipolar meds.

I don’t believe you should cut her off, but you absolutely need to hold her at arms length. She cannot watch your child.

I love my Dh and would side with him over my family. My Dh is wonderful and always has my best interests at heart. You need to decide if the same is true of yours. Marriage is deeper than blood relations. Your Dh actually seems reasonable and your mom is extremely unreasonable. I bet if you stood your ground, your dad would make changes. I can’t believe he didn’t after your brother went no contact. I’d lose my mind if my child wouldn’t contact me because of something my husband did.

[Anonymous]

She’s crazy, & you want to keep contact with your dad, so you need to make nice.

Quit telling DH about the stupid crap she says.

Don’t let her babysit.

See them occasionally. If DH doesn’t want to accompany you, that’s his choice.

I will say, you seem to be getting something out of this drama, sharing the stories with others, etc. Maybe meet with a therapist to talk some of this through, rather than with other family members, DH, DCUM, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean your mom sounds awful and it’s of course not okay to leave a sleeping baby alone. She should never be alone with the kids again. On cutting her off, I don’t know, I’d get some therapy. Would your DH never seeing her again be sufficient, could you go see your family alone with the kid?

OP here. My mom would never go to therapy. She thinks it’s for weak people with made up problems.

You get the therapy, to learn how to deal with her and to discern what you want your relationship with her to be.

Right. Op YOU are the one who needs to be in therapy. You have a lot of issues from your mom and you need to fix this before it hurts your marriage or your relationship with your child. Also, your child would be very harmed if you all divorced over this issue. This can be saved if you work through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom sounds toxic but it seems you are mainly ashamed of her because of your sensitive husband and well off in laws. Do what makes your life easier. You can't ruin your child's childhood trying to be a referee between your mom and your husband.

OP here. No. We have many issues since my parents divorced and we moved with her and my stepdad.

My mom was emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. She called my sisters and I a B and a sl*t growing up.

My in-laws are of well off. She’s just jealous that my MIL have had a real close relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s crazy, & you want to keep contact with your dad, so you need to make nice.

Quit telling DH about the stupid crap she says.

Don’t let her babysit.

See them occasionally. If DH doesn’t want to accompany you, that’s his choice.

I will say, you seem to be getting something out of this drama, sharing the stories with others, etc. Maybe meet with a therapist to talk some of this through, rather than with other family members, DH, DCUM, etc.

OP here. We only know about these issues because my extended family members have contacted myself and my husband to tell us.

My mom has also openly said these things at family events.