Spouse wants me to cut contact with my mom

[Anonymous]

I don’t have the greatest relationship with my mom but she’s still my mom. My husband has never liked my mom because of bad history but she recently did something terrible and he wants to ban her from seeing our child and any future children. I agree that she will never babysit again but banning her from seeing our kids in a little outrageous to me. This has caused huge conflict for us.

[Anonymous]

You aren't just her child anymore. You are a mom and a wife. You need to decide accordingly.

[Anonymous]

What did she do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did she do?

OP here.

Back history - She told everyone my now husband was going to cheat and leave me because he asked for a prenup. She told a lot of my family members and she was almost disinvited to our wedding.

Recent - She left our young infant child alone while sleeping for 10-15 minutes to grab herself coffee and lunch.

We gave her access to our DD for her to order food and coffee for lunch. Instead she decided to not use it and just went a block down to grab it.

She acted as if it was no big deal. We only found out because she told us she liked the restaurants food and she said she just picked it up because she needed to grab coffee from DD.

Husband said he doesn’t want her to have any contact with our child.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd suggest considering if you traded one controlling/abusive person for another?

Of course he can have an opinion about the child's safety and well being but he cannot unilaterally make decisions like that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she do?

OP here.

Back history - She told everyone my now husband was going to cheat and leave me because he asked for a prenup. She told a lot of my family members and she was almost disinvited to our wedding.

Recent - She left our young infant child alone while sleeping for 10-15 minutes to grab herself coffee and lunch.

We gave her access to our DD for her to order food and coffee for lunch. Instead she decided to not use it and just went a block down to grab it.

She acted as if it was no big deal. We only found out because she told us she liked the restaurants food and she said she just picked it up because she needed to grab coffee from DD.

Husband said he doesn’t want her to have any contact with our child.

I wouldn't have her babysit but I think having contact with you present is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'd suggest considering if you traded one controlling/abusive person for another?

Of course he can have an opinion about the child's safety and well being but he cannot unilaterally make decisions like that for you.

OP here. He is not controlling or abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she do?

OP here.

Back history - She told everyone my now husband was going to cheat and leave me because he asked for a prenup. She told a lot of my family members and she was almost disinvited to our wedding.

Recent - She left our young infant child alone while sleeping for 10-15 minutes to grab herself coffee and lunch.

We gave her access to our DD for her to order food and coffee for lunch. Instead she decided to not use it and just went a block down to grab it.

She acted as if it was no big deal. We only found out because she told us she liked the restaurants food and she said she just picked it up because she needed to grab coffee from DD.

Husband said he doesn’t want her to have any contact with our child.

I wouldn't have her babysit but I think having contact with you present is different.

OP here. There’s just a long history of other issues.

- She has spread rumors about my MIL because of her jealousy over my close relationship with her.

- She has made rude comments about my husband several times. This has included about his work, his family life, and our lifestyle. She also insinuated my big engagement ring was because of his physical inadequacies.

- She tried to exclude her from our baby shower because “ it’s a woman thing”.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My mom is tolerable in small doses. She’s a very hateful person. I just know cutting her off means cutting my father ( who is wonderful) off. He will side with her and it will become a big email issue.

My brother cut her off and he no longer speaks to any of us because of her.

[Anonymous]

Your mother likely is mentally ill &/or has a personality disorder. Plan accordingly.

She is not going to follow safety rules with the kids and should never be left alone with them again imo.

The NAMI Family to Family course is free, online and would likely be very helpful & informative to you.

[Anonymous]

Never let a man isolate you from friends or family.

[Anonymous]

This tug of war between your mother and your husband is unhealthy for you, your child and your marriage. Y'all need to see a family counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother likely is mentally ill &/or has a personality disorder. Plan accordingly.

She is not going to follow safety rules with the kids and should never be left alone with them again imo.

The NAMI Family to Family course is free, online and would likely be very helpful & informative to you.

OP here. She has untreated bipolar disorder from what her siblings say.

She is very hard to talk to and get along with. She’s always right, she is constantly gossiping about others, and she throws tantrums like a child. She lacks emotional maturity. She will scream and get angry if ever challenged by anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never let a man isolate you from friends or family.

OP here. He doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

It seems most of your mother's problems are related to your husband. Why is that so?

As far as babysitting goes, she isn't trustworthy so that's not an option anymore.