Dating and exclusivity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

The issue is that men on OLD have group sex, anal sex with multiple women without protection etc. Heard it from these men’s friends and my dermatologist . Of course it’s okay when some women are also ok with that. Maybe these women love BJs on communal Ds!
But there is something in between hookup and having sex with many people: just stopping this activity to have sex with one person. Then if things don’t work, move on to next person and so on.

This is complete BS. Stop spreading lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

The issue is that men on OLD have group sex, anal sex with multiple women without protection etc. Heard it from these men’s friends and my dermatologist . Of course it’s okay when some women are also ok with that. Maybe these women love BJs on communal Ds!
But there is something in between hookup and having sex with many people: just stopping this activity to have sex with one person. Then if things don’t work, move on to next person and so on.

This sounds like urban legend hyperbolic hysteria. Yes, it might happen, and maybe this happening if you’re on Feeld or some similar kind of place, but it’s certainly not every guy on OLD who is looking for a relationship. Many of them would argue they can’t get in person dates, much less a gang bang. If they really want that, there are lots of easier places.

Unfortunately, in my experience that is half of physically attractive/handsome men on match, League and eharmony. Yes, in a large urban city. It’s my experience, not rumors . I’m good looking and attract a lot of good looking men. Then it comes up a month into dating or so. I was told about swinger parties, threesomes, men wanted sex while not be available to me over the weekend, I discovered them living with someone already etc.

I think these men can’t find quality/attractive women on Feeld so they spill over to conventional sites. Or many men are married/partnered already and just look for a side chick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience if a man wants to be exclusive he will let you know.

And so what? You sleep with multiple men until one of them tells you they want exclusivity ? This is BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

Tough to say though — some guys might act as if and not actually be exclusive. Why would you not just have a straight conversation?

Regardless, how do you think this should go? What signals would you give a woman so she knows and how would you two discuss it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

As a woman I do date many people when I’m searching for a partner. These would be non-physical coffee, movie, hike dates. We could kiss at a max. But I eventually pick one man to sleep with. Yes, I tell all men this that dating is a social activity to me. Not sexual activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

Tough to say though — some guys might act as if and not actually be exclusive. Why would you not just have a straight conversation?

Regardless, how do you think this should go? What signals would you give a woman so she knows and how would you two discuss it?

I tell men I have right to know if they want to be my sex partner he should disclose if he has other partners. This concerns me, and my choices regarding my body. I will act upon accordingly with decisions related to that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

The issue is that men on OLD have group sex, anal sex with multiple women without protection etc. Heard it from these men’s friends and my dermatologist . Of course it’s okay when some women are also ok with that. Maybe these women love BJs on communal Ds!
But there is something in between hookup and having sex with many people: just stopping this activity to have sex with one person. Then if things don’t work, move on to next person and so on.

This sounds like urban legend hyperbolic hysteria. Yes, it might happen, and maybe this happening if you’re on Feeld or some similar kind of place, but it’s certainly not every guy on OLD who is looking for a relationship. Many of them would argue they can’t get in person dates, much less a gang bang. If they really want that, there are lots of easier places.

Unfortunately, in my experience that is half of physically attractive/handsome men on match, League and eharmony. Yes, in a large urban city. It’s my experience, not rumors . I’m good looking and attract a lot of good looking men. Then it comes up a month into dating or so. I was told about swinger parties, threesomes, men wanted sex while not be available to me over the weekend, I discovered them living with someone already etc.

I think these men can’t find quality/attractive women on Feeld so they spill over to conventional sites. Or many men are married/partnered already and just look for a side chick

That sounds crazy and hasn't been my experience but I am picky. The men I talked to wanted exclusivitely right away..I'm also an attractive woman. However these men are never verbal about wanting exclusivity. They assume it then get annoyed when they know I'm dating just dating no sex more than one man. Why they don't outright ask me to be their girlfriend is beyond me. Is asking someone to be their girlfriend not in anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

The issue is that men on OLD have group sex, anal sex with multiple women without protection etc. Heard it from these men’s friends and my dermatologist . Of course it’s okay when some women are also ok with that. Maybe these women love BJs on communal Ds!
But there is something in between hookup and having sex with many people: just stopping this activity to have sex with one person. Then if things don’t work, move on to next person and so on.

This sounds like urban legend hyperbolic hysteria. Yes, it might happen, and maybe this happening if you’re on Feeld or some similar kind of place, but it’s certainly not every guy on OLD who is looking for a relationship. Many of them would argue they can’t get in person dates, much less a gang bang. If they really want that, there are lots of easier places.

Unfortunately, in my experience that is half of physically attractive/handsome men on match, League and eharmony. Yes, in a large urban city. It’s my experience, not rumors . I’m good looking and attract a lot of good looking men. Then it comes up a month into dating or so. I was told about swinger parties, threesomes, men wanted sex while not be available to me over the weekend, I discovered them living with someone already etc.

I think these men can’t find quality/attractive women on Feeld so they spill over to conventional sites. Or many men are married/partnered already and just look for a side chick

That sounds crazy and hasn't been my experience but I am picky. The men I talked to wanted exclusivitely right away..I'm also an attractive woman. However these men are never verbal about wanting exclusivity. They assume it then get annoyed when they know I'm dating just dating no sex more than one man. Why they don't outright ask me to be their girlfriend is beyond me. Is asking someone to be their girlfriend not in anymore?

Believe me they do sleep with other women unless you have right of access to each others premises on continuous and consistent basis. Thus they don’t ask you to be GF- they already have a FWB or a GF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Man here. Yes, absolutely respect,
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

As a woman I do date many people when I’m searching for a partner. These would be non-physical coffee, movie, hike dates. We could kiss at a max. But I eventually pick one man to sleep with. Yes, I tell all men this that dating is a social activity to me. Not sexual activity.

Curious do you kiss at every first date? Or just those you'd consider a second date with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

Tough to say though — some guys might act as if and not actually be exclusive. Why would you not just have a straight conversation?

Regardless, how do you think this should go? What signals would you give a woman so she knows and how would you two discuss it?

^^curious especially for male input

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

Do men respect this?

Do women respect this? Years ago when I did online dating I knew all the girls I dated were seeing multiple men at the same time. I don't know if they were having sex with them, but I know I wasn't the only guy they were seeing...

It goes both ways.

Also, OP if you can't tell if a man is into you enough to be "exclusive" then he's not into you enough.

As a woman I do date many people when I’m searching for a partner. These would be non-physical coffee, movie, hike dates. We could kiss at a max. But I eventually pick one man to sleep with. Yes, I tell all men this that dating is a social activity to me. Not sexual activity.

Curious do you kiss at every first date? Or just those you'd consider a second date with?

I kiss on a third date (and usually it’s only one man that gets it, others are 1-2 dates)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is hooking up why is it an issue? If you want a relationship then let him know that so you're exclusive. Say you won't have sex without a relationship.

The issue is that men on OLD have group sex, anal sex with multiple women without protection etc. Heard it from these men’s friends and my dermatologist . Of course it’s okay when some women are also ok with that. Maybe these women love BJs on communal Ds!
But there is something in between hookup and having sex with many people: just stopping this activity to have sex with one person. Then if things don’t work, move on to next person and so on.

This sounds like urban legend hyperbolic hysteria. Yes, it might happen, and maybe this happening if you’re on Feeld or some similar kind of place, but it’s certainly not every guy on OLD who is looking for a relationship. Many of them would argue they can’t get in person dates, much less a gang bang. If they really want that, there are lots of easier places.

Unfortunately, in my experience that is half of physically attractive/handsome men on match, League and eharmony. Yes, in a large urban city. It’s my experience, not rumors . I’m good looking and attract a lot of good looking men. Then it comes up a month into dating or so. I was told about swinger parties, threesomes, men wanted sex while not be available to me over the weekend, I discovered them living with someone already etc.

I think these men can’t find quality/attractive women on Feeld so they spill over to conventional sites. Or many men are married/partnered already and just look for a side chick

That sounds crazy and hasn't been my experience but I am picky. The men I talked to wanted exclusivitely right away..I'm also an attractive woman. However these men are never verbal about wanting exclusivity. They assume it then get annoyed when they know I'm dating just dating no sex more than one man. Why they don't outright ask me to be their girlfriend is beyond me. Is asking someone to be their girlfriend not in anymore?

Believe me they do sleep with other women unless you have right of access to each others premises on continuous and consistent basis. Thus they don’t ask you to be GF- they already have a FWB or a GF!

Well one referred to me as his girlfriend without asking me to be. The other guy assumed exclusivity and when he found out I was dating others he stepped back and said he wanted one on one and to contact him when I was ready and that he highly preferred talking to one person only. He was only 30.

[Anonymous]

I complied with a request like OP's before having sex with my last gf. She and I had gotten to know each other over many months after a mutual friend introduced us. She was a great match in many ways but we turned out not to be a great match sexually. I guess I'm glad I tried but i wish I knew what the sex would be like before I jumped onto such a serious relationship. Half the time we'd start to kiss and nothing would happen on my end without a lot of effort. We just didn't have good chemistry. I finally broke up with her after several months. Knowing what I know now, I wish we had stayed ",just friends."