Friend with low-key WFH job doesn't get it

[Anonymous]

My go-to comment for people like this is:
"Thanks for your concern."

[Anonymous]

I don’t work anymore. I sometimes comment on people’s work attire because they look nice. I miss going to an office.

When I was a working mom, I used to feel bad if there was a valentines play date in the middle of the day or a mom would plan some themed playground outing where everyone wears their favorite jersey. This would be after school before dinner and I would never be able to make these. No one ever tried to put me down.

I now sometimes host play dates on teacher work days or half days. I invite working moms and their kids and I think they get irritated at me and answer with I have to work. I think it is kind of rude.

[Anonymous]

It is the tone of the work that is rude. They could drop off or I would be happy to pick kids up.

[Anonymous]

I would just say yes, I really enjoy having the hybrid model. It’s a great balance for me. Even if you hate going to the office, there’s no need to share that. Keep it positive and it may just shut her down.

[Anonymous]

Or say, "Larla, you always mention my work clothes! It just reminds me of the commute ahead of me. Maybe give me a break?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your life is hard right now. Her words sound sympathetic so make sure you're not overlaying nefarious intent. Either she's you friend or not. It's ok to ease away but I wouldn't say anything because you would sound nuts

Her words do not sound sympathetic, they sound annoying AF. I would respond with something like, "I know, going to the office isn't ideal, but I like the job, so it is what it is". Whatever you say, repeat your exact same response every time she makes a comment about you going to the office. Hopefully she gets the hint.

Repeating the exact same response makes you the crazy one.

That's the whole point - to let the annoying one know that you don't want to engage on the topic anymore without saying STFU.

[Anonymous]

For stuff like this I tend to just let people be who they are. Or, I’d just say “you’re making me feel bad for having to go to the office.” It doesn’t have to be some snappy remark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your life is hard right now. Her words sound sympathetic so make sure you're not overlaying nefarious intent. Either she's you friend or not. It's ok to ease away but I wouldn't say anything because you would sound nuts

Her words do not sound sympathetic, they sound annoying AF. I would respond with something like, "I know, going to the office isn't ideal, but I like the job, so it is what it is". Whatever you say, repeat your exact same response every time she makes a comment about you going to the office. Hopefully she gets the hint.

DP, and I think her words do sound sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

Give her one of the suggested answers. When she comments again, remind her that you have already had this conversation multiple times. Honestly, she sounds weird, not mean spirited. Most people at the bus stop come up with new topics from the weather to PTA news.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like she’s trying to start a conversation and be sympathetic. But that she doesn’t have much else to go on to talk about with you. Like the stuff about your DH’s involvement sounds admitting to me.

[Anonymous]

It could be that she has a complex about her on career progression and legitimately wonders how you make it work. If she is talking about your DH's involvement -- does she have a do-nothing DH who works a ton?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me like she’s trying to start a conversation and be sympathetic. But that she doesn’t have much else to go on to talk about with you. Like the stuff about your DH’s involvement sounds admitting to me.

Yeah, could be insecurity or it could just be lame small talk.

I'd answer ever time "yep, Mondays and Wednesdays I go in."

And then try to find something else in common you can chat about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t work anymore. I sometimes comment on people’s work attire because they look nice. I miss going to an office.

When I was a working mom, I used to feel bad if there was a valentines play date in the middle of the day or a mom would plan some themed playground outing where everyone wears their favorite jersey. This would be after school before dinner and I would never be able to make these. No one ever tried to put me down.

I now sometimes host play dates on teacher work days or half days. I invite working moms and their kids and I think they get irritated at me and answer with I have to work. I think it is kind of rude.

You sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

She sounds clueless and is not mindful of her audience’s feelings.

Imo she could use a gentle nudge that she’s being insensitive so you don’t have to be subjected to this every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me like she’s trying to start a conversation and be sympathetic. But that she doesn’t have much else to go on to talk about with you. Like the stuff about your DH’s involvement sounds admitting to me.

I was thinking this too.