When does mean girl drama get better?

[Anonymous]

It's up to your DD to be the change and not rely on the world around her to change. These years are tough as they're becoming their own people, but be thankful your DD isn't one of the mean girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dealing with this in my office now and most of the women are in their 40s...

Ugh, dealing with this nonsense on the stupidest of PTA tasks. It never ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never- have you been in the workplace, kids sports, PTA... basically any adult group? The mean girls still show their claws. The adult version mean girls are Karens and they are everywhere.

Unfortunately this.

My DD had a group of friends and brought in a new girl, who was new to the area. Well, that girl ended up basically power grabbing all the friends and now they don't include my kid, who is the kindest of the bunch and always inclusive. Even with other friends, she now lacks the sort of "tribe" that she had before. Not included in meeting up, excluded from bdays, group chats, etc. This has taken a HUGE mental toll on my child and her confidence. (My kid is in HS).

I want to throat punch that one kid, but social norms dictate that I do not. So I silently seethe an try to support my child.

This happened to my kid, too, though I don't wish harm to the "new girl." I just feel bad for her that she's sorry of stuck emulating Disney Channel/Nickelodeon show mean girls and blindly following influencers and dictating what is cool and what is not.

Slowly my dd is finding her people and a couple who were following the "new girl" are crossing back over. Whether they were also edged out of the group or just tired of it I don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never- have you been in the workplace, kids sports, PTA... basically any adult group? The mean girls still show their claws. The adult version mean girls are Karens and they are everywhere.

LOl. My mom was literally telling me about the mean girls at her nursing home. Imagine getting to an age like 85 and still being a 'witch with a b'. So sad.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is much younger, but this triggers bad middle school feelings. Are the girls who play team sports better off? For example, do they stick together at school? My boys have always had friends through sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is much younger, but this triggers bad middle school feelings. Are the girls who play team sports better off? For example, do they stick together at school? My boys have always had friends through sports.

o

These posts are always a pile on. There are girls who are not mean. My daughter has had a fantastic middle school experience and the girls generally lift each other up. Of course, there are exceptions to this. But if your daughter has some healthy self confidence, she will generally find her people within a large school. I’m not trying to dismiss horrific bullying, but that isn’t every girls experience.

And honestly when women post about how they continue to encounter mean girls throughout their entire lives, I question how they are living their lives. Of course, there are jerks in the world, but I’ve managed to surround myself with wonderful women through my 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. If there is some mean mom out there mocking my fat, frumpy self, I haven’t noticed in a few decades.

Don’t go into middle school assuming your kid will have a terrible time.

[Anonymous]

I’m not trying to turn this into a public/private debate but my 11yo 6th grader has been in private since 4th and it’s not too bad. There are definitely different cliques/circles but no real meanness or cruelty seems to happen.
A new kid started a month ago because she got suspended from mcps and she’s had a struggle. My kid was assigned to show her around the first day and the new kid called mine several different names on the first day, called other kids, fat, ugly etc…. Dunno if she was trying to hard to fit in or what but it didn’t go well. Now mine says no one likes her. I feel bad for the new kid who now had no friends but she came in swinging and alienated them all.

[Anonymous]

I really have not encounter mean girls since high school. Maybe a rude mom once in a while but nothing like middle/high school. 5th-7th were the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never- have you been in the workplace, kids sports, PTA... basically any adult group? The mean girls still show their claws. The adult version mean girls are Karens and they are everywhere.

LOl. My mom was literally telling me about the mean girls at her nursing home. Imagine getting to an age like 85 and still being a 'witch with a b'. So sad.

Was kind of hoping the mean girls would be dead before I head into a nursing home…they really are going to follow me to the grave..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is much younger, but this triggers bad middle school feelings. Are the girls who play team sports better off? For example, do they stick together at school? My boys have always had friends through sports.

Not always. My DD's team in HS is coached by players' relatives. Their players and their friends are the mean girls. The in girls. The coaches are very gossipy and involved in what's going on, too.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't get better. Ever.
-47 dealing with mean girl moms at my kids school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't get better. Ever.
-47 dealing with mean girl moms at my kids school

The moms are mean to other moms? Examples please?

[Anonymous]

There is a difference between being kind to everyone and being a doormat/putting up with things you shouldn't.

But 6th grade is brutal. 7th and 8th as well. By high school things chill out a bit as friend groups shift by interest and there isn't so much relational aggression and bitterness.

[Anonymous]

Where do y'all work? Because I have literally never encountered mean girl nonsense at work, and I'm 53 and have had a lot of jobs. I've encountered some nonsense, of course. But not the mean girl brand of it. I haven't seen that since 8th grade.

[Anonymous]

Never, some girls/women Never outgrow it. Try to surround yourself with better people and avoid the drama.