What do you make of it when adults refer to their mom or dad as just “Mom” or “Dad”

[Anonymous]

I find it strange, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of saying “my mom” or “my dad” when they are talking to non-related other adults? I have two friends who do this, and I find it very peculiar. They are women in their 40s and 50s, and then they talk about their dads to me or in a group of friends, they just refer to him as “Dad.” Like, “Dad was late to pick up the kids from school so Steve had to scramble to go get them because I was in a meeting.” Or “Dad fell again and is in the hospital.”

"MY dad was to to pick up MY kids from the school MY KIDS GO TO, so MY HUSBAND Steve had to scramble to go get them because I was in a meeting AT MY WORKPLACE."

Wordy, wordy, wordy!

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird too. Do these people also say “Husband got a promotion” Or “Daughter hit a home run in softball last night!” I’m guessing not.

[Anonymous]

I’m one of these people! I never would have noticed, but a friend pointed it out once. She said it was funny, but I wonder if I was getting on her nerves. It’s completely unconscious—like someone said, I think I sort of just treat Mom as a name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird too. Do these people also say “Husband got a promotion” Or “Daughter hit a home run in softball last night!” I’m guessing not.

But they probably also don’t say, “I’ll be home soon, husband” or “have a good day at school, daughter.”

[Anonymous]

I know a few people who do this. They're people with the types of families who are close knit and also treat everyone else like family. For example one friend whose parents live near by , they invite us to their family gatherings a couple times a year and always say "the more the merrier."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird too. Do these people also say “Husband got a promotion” Or “Daughter hit a home run in softball last night!” I’m guessing not.

Mom is not just a relationship, it's the name they use when they speak to her. Their mom is their mom, and they also call her mom. My husband is my husband but I call him by his name, not "Husband." My daughter is my daughter but I call her Larla not daughter, etc. Mom, dad, and whatever you call your grandparents are really the only "relationship terms" that serve as name substitutes.

I don't do this, but I think it's strange that so many people are having a strong reaction to hearing it. Do you feel like you're being put in the place of seeing the speaker's mom as your mom before you process the implied "my", and it makes you uncomfortable? I just don't get what is upsetting about it. The point gets across.

[Anonymous]

It’s a variation of normal.

I use father and mother, husband, son and daughter. I’m sure it feels weird to people who already know who they are. It’s probably because I am a formal sort of person.

The people who use Dad and Mom are usually more casual. It feels natural, unforced, and perfectly fine. Sometimes I wish that came naturally to me!

[Anonymous]

Mom is just a name in this usage, not a relationship signifier. If they were talking to a stranger, they would say "my mom" but to someone they know it's just "mom", in the same way I would tell a friend I can't make the event because "Jack has a baseball game" but someone who doesn't know my kid would get "my son has a baseball game".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of saying “my mom” or “my dad” when they are talking to non-related other adults? I have two friends who do this, and I find it very peculiar. They are women in their 40s and 50s, and then they talk about their dads to me or in a group of friends, they just refer to him as “Dad.” Like, “Dad was late to pick up the kids from school so Steve had to scramble to go get them because I was in a meeting.” Or “Dad fell again and is in the hospital.”

You have way too much leisure time!

[Anonymous]

It's a southern thing. I think it's kind of sweet, it makes me feel just a little more endeared to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a variation of normal.

I use father and mother, husband, son and daughter. I’m sure it feels weird to people who already know who they are. It’s probably because I am a formal sort of person.

The people who use Dad and Mom are usually more casual. It feels natural, unforced, and perfectly fine. Sometimes I wish that came naturally to me!

it's not mom vs Mother. It's that they are just saying mom vs my mom. So people will use "my" in front to distinguish it from other moms. I'm going to my mom's house not my husband's moms or someone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of saying “my mom” or “my dad” when they are talking to non-related other adults? I have two friends who do this, and I find it very peculiar. They are women in their 40s and 50s, and then they talk about their dads to me or in a group of friends, they just refer to him as “Dad.” Like, “Dad was late to pick up the kids from school so Steve had to scramble to go get them because I was in a meeting.” Or “Dad fell again and is in the hospital.”

Isn't it self-explanatory?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird too. Do these people also say “Husband got a promotion” Or “Daughter hit a home run in softball last night!” I’m guessing not.

Mom is not just a relationship, it's the name they use when they speak to her. Their mom is their mom, and they also call her mom. My husband is my husband but I call him by his name, not "Husband." My daughter is my daughter but I call her Larla not daughter, etc. Mom, dad, and whatever you call your grandparents are really the only "relationship terms" that serve as name substitutes.

I don't do this, but I think it's strange that so many people are having a strong reaction to hearing it. Do you feel like you're being put in the place of seeing the speaker's mom as your mom before you process the implied "my", and it makes you uncomfortable? I just don't get what is upsetting about it. The point gets across.

Best post on this thread.

[Anonymous]

I don’t mind. The only time I might find it confusing is if I don’t know if they’re referring to their dad or their kids’ dad, e.g., “Dad is picking the kids up from school today” because I also know some people who use Mom/Dad as the name for their spouse after they’re married/have kids. But if I’m not close enough them to figure it out from context then it probably doesn’t matter that I don’t know. Either way I definitely notice since it’s a phraseology I emphatically don’t use but I don’t mind.