Dating across the political aisle

[Anonymous]

I am in a mixed marriage and it is fine. We rarely discuss politics, but when we do we actually agree on quite a few issues. When we disagree, we agree to disagree and acknowledge a difference in opinion, not that the other person is misinformed or stupid or a bad person. We are older millennials.

[Anonymous]

Can you please post a gift link? Not everyone subscribes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends which part of conservative or liberal they are. I could not be with someone longterm who was really into the culture wars on either side. Fiscal conservatism versus quasi-socialism, sure. Debates on health care policy, sure. Debates on abortion or gay marriage or immigration or religious freedom - nope, I know where I stand on those, for moral and cultural/religious reasons, and I am not interested in being with someone whose beliefs are so opposed to mine that we disagree on issues so fundamental to my world view.

I can be friends with folks with diametrically opposing views. Partly by not talking about them. But I couldn't be life partners with such a person, not because I think they're bad people, but because it would drive me crazy every time we talked.

+1

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20s and "didn't care about politics" I dated 2 conservative guys. One of them was openly anti gay marriage and other rights, which didn't work for me when a friend invited me to the pride parade. With the other guy I ended up in an abortion debate when a condom broke (thankfully the debate was theoretical only).

Even people who claim they don't care about politics quickly realize how it does affect every day life and general mindset about things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care where a person comes down if they enjoy engaging in fact-based debate without getting upset.

That rules out a lot of people who are partisan on both sides. I hate tribalism most of all.

I’m personally liberal though and my DH is close to me so maybe it would bug me more than I think. But I have conservative friends with no problem. Not trumpers though.

+1 though I am male.

DW was more conservative but not anymore.

[Anonymous]

Back in the late 90s when I lived on Cap Hill while attending GULC, Jim Carville and Mary Matalin were my neighbors and I would see them out with their little girls and wonder about that odd pairing - one which has now lasted 30 years.

They say they don't talk politics at home. It's noteworthy that Matalin is one of the high profile Republicans who left the party in 2016 citing the party's rejection of many of her lifelong principles.

Although the GOP started warping in the early 90s under the Gingrich revolution, it was still then a party which shared abiding democratic principles with the opposition party and it was therefore a lot more understandable why people could marry someone of the other party, and why there were very close friendships across the aisle in Congress and out in society as well.

We live in a different world now. I cannot fathom having a close friend who is MAGAGOP, much less ever dating such a person. These people love a leader who has asserted I am vermin worthy of extermination. That I don't deserve bodily autonomy. I could go on and on, but we all know the drill.

I could date someone who was totally politically apathetic, so long as they were for reasons of mental health or in protest of a broken system - not if they were just shallow and willfully ignorant. I could date a Libertarian, depending on how that manifested. I could possibly date an old school Republican, a vocal never Trumper who was also vocal about 100% support of Democrats until the current MAGAGOP is destroyed - but honestly even then I would struggle because most old school GOP still have a very different tolerance for intolerance and suffering than I can imagine ever justifying, the whole pro birth but not really pro life in terms of feeding and supporting poor children and the other categories of people who comprise the least of these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends which part of conservative or liberal they are. I could not be with someone longterm who was really into the culture wars on either side. Fiscal conservatism versus quasi-socialism, sure. Debates on health care policy, sure. Debates on abortion or gay marriage or immigration or religious freedom - nope, I know where I stand on those, for moral and cultural/religious reasons, and I am not interested in being with someone whose beliefs are so opposed to mine that we disagree on issues so fundamental to my world view.

I can be friends with folks with diametrically opposing views. Partly by not talking about them. But I couldn't be life partners with such a person, not because I think they're bad people, but because it would drive me crazy every time we talked.

+1 I could date a fiscal conservative but not somebody who thinks being gay or trans people shouldn't exist or that women shouldn't have control of their health decisions. And, if they like Trump I would assume they are either shockingly stupid or completely morally repugnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old guard republican, sure. Trumper, not only could I not date them, I couldn’t even have a coffee with them.

Same, girl, same.

[Anonymous]

I sleep with woketards all the time but would never seriously date or marry one.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s very stupid to align oneself with a political party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two words: bodily autonomy. I would never date a republican.

But a democrat Pfizer exec would be fine. My body, my choice, unless it’s sponsored by Pfizer

This makes no sense. Are you trying to make an anti-vax statement?

You can't claim to be the party of bodily autonomy while forcing people to put things into their bodies. NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So last month, WaPo did a piece on the "political mismatch" of dating among millennials and GenZ. I found the article silly, but poignant.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/11/22/marriage-polarization-dating-trump/

Jumping right into the topic - what are your thoughts? Would you consider dating someone who thinks differently than you, politically? Are you in a mixed-political marriage or LTR?

I think I would be open to dating someone outside of my politics, even though I'm pretty firmly on the left. I like to hear others' point of views and I think different ideologies bring different things to the table and expose blind spots of others. While I'm left-leaning on economics and the environment, i appreciate conservative arguments on some cultural issues. I think if a conservative or right-leaning man were interested in dating me, I'd give him a chance.

Sure. No single party has a monopoly on common sense and decency. It's the person you're dating not the party. If the person you're dating can't separate themselves from their party, that's a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

I could never date anyone that cannot define what a woman is, believes children/young adults are incapable of knowing right from wrong until the ripe old age of 26 and live by a philosophy that everyone is either an oppressor or oppressed in the world.

Hard pass, I believe in science and live in reality.

[Anonymous]

Well I married a Republican, but this was in the GWB administration when Republicans were more about low taxes and low regulation.

Today, no, I could not marry a Republican.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two words: bodily autonomy. I would never date a republican.

But a democrat Pfizer exec would be fine. My body, my choice, unless it’s sponsored by Pfizer

I also wouldn’t date someone with poor reasoning skills. ^^