What To Do When Son's Best Friend Becomes Too Popular?

[Anonymous]

You are too quick to label a kid you knew for a few short months as a best friend.

I have two boys now ages 12 and 14. My older son has been friends with some boys since early elementary. Most of them are very good looking, smart, athletic, confident and the girls have crushes on them. I was afraid they may leave my more nerdy introverted son behind but their group has only grown. My son is also good looking, smart and athletic but he is more reserved and quiet.

8 is young. Friendships shift a lot in upper elementary and then again in middle school and high school.

My 12yo is very social unlike my older son. He is the one who seems to be leaving old friends behind for new ones. I don’t think he is doing it on purpose but he is meeting new people and his old friends aren’t all in his current classes so he sees them less.

[Anonymous]

Before splurging on Disneyland, buy him some pants that fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

Nope. Just invite him over and go to a popular local movie or activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah gonna go with troll. No parent goes from I’m afraid to invite him for a play date to hmmm maybe I can bring him to Disneyland. Haha. If you don’t know the parents well enough to ask them how their son feels about yours then you don’t know them well enough to go to Disney. T

It's not that I'm afraid to invite him just that I thought it would be better if my son called him instead. I do know the Mom well enough to discuss a possible trip to Disney and that's something I'm considering. But do you really think a parent would be honest with me and tell me if my worst fear is true: that her son doesn't wanna be friends with my boy anymore because some rude kids at school sometimes laugh at him?

This is absolutely a troll. 8 year olds calling each other to make plans ??? Op it's way too far fetched, maybe your 8 yr old can call him to arrange Disney flights

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

Desperado why don’t you come to your senses?

Hello fellow Eagles fan!

[Anonymous]

Truly, you soared too high with this one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

WTF. omg. You are weird. Unless you live in Anaheim, that is not an appopriate invite.

[Anonymous]

I get it, it’s heartbreaking when our kids aren’t as “cool” as we want them to be, but let it go.
I don’t see why not try a cook activity but if it doesn’t work, let it go.
The new kid seems to be confident and a strong personality which always helps with making friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are too quick to label a kid you knew for a few short months as a best friend.

I have two boys now ages 12 and 14. My older son has been friends with some boys since early elementary. Most of them are very good looking, smart, athletic, confident and the girls have crushes on them. I was afraid they may leave my more nerdy introverted son behind but their group has only grown. My son is also good looking, smart and athletic but he is more reserved and quiet.

8 is young. Friendships shift a lot in upper elementary and then again in middle school and high school.

My 12yo is very social unlike my older son. He is the one who seems to be leaving old friends behind for new ones. I don’t think he is doing it on purpose but he is meeting new people and his old friends aren’t all in his current classes so he sees them less.

Thank you for posting! I can understand being afraid that your son's friends might leave him and I'm glad to hear that they didn't. I'm sure your son is good-looking and an awesome kid too. When this friend started coming to our house we thought he was good looking and smart but not sure about confident because he was probably worried that some bully might target him or that everyone in the class wouldn't be nice to him. He seemed curious about learning about this town and curious about the new school which was great. But I did notice that he seems like the sort of kid who could shrug off any teasing (including about his Tourette's) unlike my son who is very sensitive when other kids seem to be laughing at him. I agree that 8 is young but I think he's old enough to understand that my son enjoyed the way they used to hang out after school and is hoping he goes back to acting like a good friend. Also, I think his Mom could explain how he should have nicer friends at school and not be joining the kids who put down other kids on the playground. Am I right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

Unless you live in Anaheim, a trip to Disney is way over the top. Just invite him over to play.

And encourage your son to identify other kids to invite over too.

That’s insane. What family would let you take a kid on vacation when you don’t know them well enough for a play date?

Just have a normal play date at home. If you want to be over the top and you live in NoVa, take them to the Lego play place at Springfield mall.

[Anonymous]

I can see why you’d be tempted by something more special than a normal play date… but that’s like a movie or Climbzone or 6 Flags or whatever; not a trip on an airplane to Disneyland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

Unless you live in Anaheim, a trip to Disney is way over the top. Just invite him over to play.

And encourage your son to identify other kids to invite over too.

That’s insane. What family would let you take a kid on vacation when you don’t know them well enough for a play date?

Just have a normal play date at home. If you want to be over the top and you live in NoVa, take them to the Lego play place at Springfield mall.

+1

I have an 8yo and I wouldn't ever let my best friend take her on a trip to Disney without me. Insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"No! Don’t do this. Just a normal playdate."

Well, unfortunately ever since the playground incident I mentioned the friend never comes home with DS after school anymore. So, I'm considering a playdate or trip that would be more special than usual. Could make a difference.

By the way, this friend seemed like such a nice boy back in September. I hope he isn't hanging out with rude kids or doing rude things just to fit in better at school. He seems like too nice a boy for things like that! And shouldn't a boy with a disability have more compassion?


No OP.
At this age he will not “have more compassion”—he will just be relieved that someone else is the “target” instead of him.
And sadly, OP, that’s your kid rn, so Tourette’s kid doesn’t want to be seen hanging out with your DS at the moment.
He is assessing the situation and realizing that hanging with the kids who do the “bullying” buys him an exemption from being bullied. Your DS was nice to him so he might not join in on tormenting your DS, but he isn’t going to stick his neck out either. Your DS senses this too. That’s why he is suddenly “shy” about asking him over. He knows, OP.
And you need to help him pivot away from this friend, empathize that it sucks—but friend is probably very insecure and reacting in self-preservation from
that insecurity, and your DS is the collateral damage, unfortunately. Encourage
your DS to find other friends who are worthy of his time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

Unless you live in Anaheim, a trip to Disney is way over the top. Just invite him over to play.

And encourage your son to identify other kids to invite over too.

That’s insane. What family would let you take a kid on vacation when you don’t know them well enough for a play date?

Just have a normal play date at home. If you want to be over the top and you live in NoVa, take them to the Lego play place at Springfield mall.

+1

I have an 8yo and I wouldn't ever let my best friend take her on a trip to Disney without me. Insanity.

I think OP is probably an Angeleno. Going to Disney for a SoCal parent is like a DMV parent offering to take DA and friend to the Air&Space Museum. It’s just a day thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

The kid will go on trip with you all and then come back and nothing will change except you will be more upset