What To Do When Son's Best Friend Becomes Too Popular?

[Anonymous]

You are gross OP

[Anonymous]

My DS is geeky and his friends are the nicer, won't-make-fun type of kids. I think they would've accepted a likable boy with Tourette's from the way you described him.

[Anonymous]

It is really weird how involved OP is in her son’s friendship.

My kids are in a lot of activities and sports. We are busy seeing our family friends and family.

I would let my kid go overnight with a very good friend we have known for a long time (years). OP has known this kid for 3 months and the friend sounds like he has made new friends.

[Anonymous]

My DS was also geeky but he always had friends too. Now that he is in fifth grade, he mostly hangs out with kids from the chess club. I agree that the friend has moved on to other friends and this is likely sad and confusing for her son.

When DS was in third grade, he was happy to wear cartoon briefs but then one Christmas my nephew stayed with us and DS suddenly felt embarrassed about his cousin seeing him in "little-boy-underpants." My nephew is much more the jock-type and not as sensitive as DS when it comes to things like teasing or kids at school being cliquey.

[Anonymous]

These kids are 8. Things change on a dime at that age, friends come and go, they move in and then relocate out of state, they go to a different middle school. Focus on your kid at home behind the scenes. Teach him to be kind, well mannered, respectful, and presentable. Teach him to be ethical, too. It's how we behave when other people aren't looking that matters most. Invite his friends over and model being kind yourself as the parent. Why wouldn't you do that? That's where the memories will be, for him and for you, when he grows up. Remember when that friend used to come over to play? I wonder where he is now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

The kid will go on trip with you all and then come back and nothing will change except you will be more upset

This. If the kid doesn't like your kid, a fancy trip isn't going to help.

Yes, and, maybe the kid with Tourette’s isn’t a saint. Maybe he’s mean-spirited or more likely wants to imitate the other kids and make fun of your kid in order to be accepted , which is what very young children often do. They are eight, after all, not mature in their behavior. Friends will come and go over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Tourette’s kid is popular now? This is not real life

My 8 year old son has a classmate who I assume has Tourette’s. Earlier this year DS was complaining about the child (also a new kid in school), about how he’d jerk around and have outbursts and spit on people, but never got in trouble for it even though the teacher saw it.

I explained to DS that his classmate probably has Tourette’s and that he cannot help it. I showed him a few YouTube videos about it. Now, DS and all of the boys in the class are friends with the child. DS still doesn’t love the tics and verbal outbursts, but now that he understands that they are involuntary, he tries to overlook them and no longer judges his friend for making them.

So, I find the idea of the Tourette’s kid being popular in 3rd grade totally plausible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should invite your he child for a playdate; why wouldn’t you?

Yes, very true! I'm feeling nervous that this boy just isn't as into my son as he was in September. I am considering offering an exciting invitation-- such as a trip to Disneyland with our family.

You need to work better on your trolling OP.

[Anonymous]

"So, I find the idea of the Tourette’s kid being popular in 3rd grade totally plausible."

Yes, I also find it plausible that a kid with Tourette's would eventually find some kids on the playground who accept him and start to have second thoughts about a best friend seen as too dorky by other students. And if I was the mom of a son with a disability, I would want to know why my DS is suddenly dropping his best friend. Hopefully, it's not for a shallow reason. ("He's not really that dorky, besides...") This is a great age to start teaching about compromise and tolerance.

DS is in fourth grade and I worry about him being an Asian kid in a mostly white school. He still wears Spidey briefs as well as so-called tighty-whities and it hasn't been an issue yet because he hasn't started changing in front of other boys for gym class yet. I'm not sure there is "popularity" at this age per se but I can totally relate to a mom noticing that some kids seem to fit in much better than other kids.