What To Do When Son's Best Friend Becomes Too Popular?
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Anonymous
| Would your kid sell his soul to be popular? |
Anonymous
That's hard to coordinate even for cousins' families, are you sure they won't reject it out of hand? At least try local day trip first, Unless, like the other poster says, you live near Disney land. |
Anonymous
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Op here.
The trip to Disneyland would mean one night with the boys and me in a hotel. Not a big deal since both boys have been on sleepovers at other people's homes before. The friend's mom thinks it's a great idea and her son has always wanted to go to Disneyland! But she couldn't commit to a specific date yet and I'm not sure what will end up happening... DS doesn't have another friend to invite on the trip and he feels very left out at school on the days when the friend hangs out with other kids. |
Anonymous
So you did it anyway when the whole thread advised you not to? Anyway, what’s so special about this school again? This class? Can he switch classes or the school? Can he switch schools next year? Have you talked to his teacher about how he gets along with his friends in the class? Have you asked your son who these kids are and if the bullying is ongoing?—focus on resolving this and not the one friend. What did you say to him about getting laughed at one time & why is he internalizing it as there can only be one friend? Fix is needed here. Don’t do this trip at 8 you're teaching him to buy friends? Let him be independent. Teach him that he can survive alone or make other friends and doesn’t need trash friends. Tell him to go play with the girls. Equip him with a smart ask remark to say to those kids when no adults are around. If you do anything invite ALL of the kids for a cheap party/house party and observe things for yourself. (Ask the teacher for the contacts). Or stay at the playground afterschool and see what the interactions are like and who the ringleader is. What’s so special about what those kids are wearing? Buy him some cool shirts with characters and cartoons all this kids like. Buy him a belt or learn to use the waistband adjusters that come in almost all pants for little boys that age. Make sure his clothes and shoes fit and he isn’t running around looking like a Poindexter trying to find friends. |
Anonymous
| So buy your son a belt. Don’t try to buy a friendship for him. Teach your son to laugh at himself when other kids laugh. Don’t teach your son to bribe kids to be friends with him. It’s funny when someone’s pants fall down. There’s nothing wrong with kids laughing at something funny. They weren’t rude, they were human. |
Anonymous
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You guys are ridiculous. OP’s son is not going to imbibe a lesson of bribing or buying friendship.
However, I think the Disneyland trip won’t work out. Screams last-ditch effort and the fact that the Mom wasn’t willing to commit to a date is telling. An 8yo isn’t that busy |
Anonymous
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The friendship is over. You said yourself, he isn’t coming over after school anymore. I know that stinks, but forcing a trip is a bad idea…friend would only be going bc he wants to go to Disneyland. There is a good chance it will become awkward & possibly even a bad experience - the kids could not get along, your son could have an embarrassing moment being afraid of a ride or something that kid then tells everyone at school- so many ways for this to go sideways.
I know you are hoping that this magical day will renew their friendship & they will realize how much fun they have together - but it could go the other way as well. Let this kid go. Invite him for a normal play date- if they don’t accept, then you know how the kid feels. Identify other possible friends, join new extracurricular activities to meet different kids. I know it is a bummer, but you have to face reality. |
Anonymous
| Don’t snooze on this relationship |
Anonymous
| You are only going to get mean girl responses on this site who think they know it all and don’t care. Sounds like you will learn how it goes , kids can be horrible, try and just go with the flow. No buying friendships or love, does not work. Being a mother is hardest job in the world. |
Anonymous
| Boys and underwear jokes are the norm. It's not like someone pulled his pants down. There is more to this story. |
Anonymous
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OP- so they’ve known each for 3 months and the other child is now finding other friends, DROP IT.
Are you the OP of other friends who has questions about social awareness? |
Anonymous
| Other Threads, not friends |
Anonymous
" Yes, but this friend who has Tourette’s has been special to our family and it may not be that easy to let him go. I can remember feeling protective towards this boy the first time he sat at our kitchen countertop sipping a glass of orange juice. He looked cute in his preppy clothes and wore a rope bracelet. He told us that when kids stare at him and ask What are you doing he just stares back and asks them, What are you doing and explains that he has this condition called Tourette's. If my son were sitting in your kitchen sipping orange juice I doubt he would be as likable. He might seem shy, moody or too quiet. "It’s funny when someone’s pants fall down. There’s nothing wrong with kids laughing at something funny. They weren’t rude, they were human." Yep, and my sister told me, "You have to admit those Spiderman briefs would be funny to a bunch of 8-year-old boys. They probably outgrew cartoon briefs last year (when they were in Second grade)." Is third grade usually considered the bridge from little boy to older boy? |
Anonymous
| OP you’re coming off creepy focusing on the other kid’s appearance. |
Anonymous
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Okay, I apologize... I didn't mean to focus on the friend's appearance. But I do think things like nice clothes and stuff like that are relevant and probably help people accept this boy and overlook his Tourette's. But most importantly, there is something likable about the friend. And I was impressed by his positive attitude about his disability and how he doesn't let it bother him when other kids stare.
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