"Your not the boss of me" "Make me"- How to respond to 14yo

[Anonymous]

I would likely just laugh and tell him if he wants to be taken seriously, he should not act like a toddler.

But since toddlers don’t have phones, hand it over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is “it” exactly? Homework, pick up his room or what. Maybe if you explain we can offer better suggestions.

Yesterday, it was because I was telling him he needed to start his HW. He is a dramatic ADHD kid.

Poster above here and I also have a dramatic ADHD kid. This could be another entire discussion but I had to back WAY off on the homework and school managing HS. My “helping” and reminders were backfiring. Leave him alone if he’s resistant to help. Prodding isn’t going to work right now if he digs in. This is a much different approach than I take with my NT kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is “it” exactly? Homework, pick up his room or what. Maybe if you explain we can offer better suggestions.

Yesterday, it was because I was telling him he needed to start his HW. He is a dramatic ADHD kid.

Poster above here and I also have a dramatic ADHD kid. This could be another entire discussion but I had to back WAY off on the homework and school managing HS. My “helping” and reminders were backfiring. Leave him alone if he’s resistant to help. Prodding isn’t going to work right now if he digs in. This is a much different approach than I take with my NT kid.

Quoting myself. You got a lot of replies in between. I’m the poster who tells my son we can be roommates. He has adhd and is very argumentative.

[Anonymous]

He should not be saying things like this at his age. I would make it very clear that while we are in a process of devolving more and more power to him, I remain the ultimate authority on many iss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is “it” exactly? Homework, pick up his room or what. Maybe if you explain we can offer better suggestions.

Yesterday, it was because I was telling him he needed to start his HW. He is a dramatic ADHD kid.

I have this kid too. I'd fire right back with "So get it done and show you're in charge responsibly. That is when I'll back off. Until then, I will keep on you"

[Anonymous]

When a teen says something disrespectful like that I make eye contact and look at them in silence. In my head I count to 3. Usually that’s the amount of time it takes for them to realize they’ve overstepped and apologize.

I can’t imagine a situation where I would say anything more than “Consider this your only warning.”

But I learned long ago to not threaten things I don’t intend to follow through on, so when I speak the kids know I mean it.

[Anonymous]

His father needs to beat his @ss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His father needs to beat his @ss.

dp.. I'm the mom, and I have no problem with doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His father needs to beat his @ss.

dp.. I'm the mom, and I have no problem with doing so.

Wow, that took a turn.

[Anonymous]

We make screens contingent on getting homework and exercise done.

Make it your kid’s choice so they hear that they control the outcome. “You can either choose to get your stuff done or not. If you do, you get screens. If not, you don’t.”

Don’t escalate. Just be chill. Don’t use too many words.

Don’t argue about why. “I already told you why. I’m not repeating. It’s your choice.”

Give him a chance to reset. “LMK when you’re ready to get started.”

[Anonymous]

^ “LMK when you’re ready to try that again.”

[Anonymous]

With my dramatic/argumentative 6 year old I tell him the police can arrest me if I don’t do my job as a parent.

[Anonymous]

What are you asking him to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I never try to be your boss. I'm your parent. If I were your boss you would've been fired already."

"I don't have to try to make you. I tell you the expectation and the natural consequence if you don't meet it."

Natural consequences would be: eat food in your room, our house will get roaches and mice. Don't do homework, you'll get bad grades. Be mean to your sister, your sister won't want to talk to you any more. For a kid who doesn't care about pests or grades, and just wants their little sister to leave them alone, natural consequences would be no deterrent.

Exactly this. I take phone away. It is my phone. I paid for it and continue to pay for data/voice plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With my dramatic/argumentative 6 year old I tell him the police can arrest me if I don’t do my job as a parent.

haha.. that could work against you. You might want to rethink that strategy. And this wouldn't work for OP's 14 yr old.