DD’s friend with bad underarm odor

[Anonymous]

She needs to be washing the clothes too.

[Anonymous]

Poor kid. I'm a white American but my mom "didn't believe" that girls needed deodorant until they were basically adults. I think she thought giving me deodorant would put me on the fast track to teen pregnancy and crime.

I knew I smelled but I was helpless, had no money, and lived in an area where nothing was walkable. I'll never forget the acute shame I felt when my dance teacher told me point blank in front of the entire class that I smelled and needed deodorant. I pretended to be sick as much as possible for the rest of the year rather than face that teacher.

If you're not friendly with the mom and other people seem to have dropped this girl, you might actually need to stick with her and consider just giving her and your DD deodorant at the same time. And restocking the friend when you think of it.

Please watch out for her- these are also the girls whose moms are reluctant to buy them sufficient feminine hygiene products and stuff in the future, as if it will somehow magically delay growing up. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a set up, but when you drive them could you say you have to stop at CVS quickly for some things and then buy them both deodorant and also candy or hair ties or a magazine each! Does your daughter already wear deodorant too?

I had an assistant once who was about 23. He had terrible BO and it was a problem. People in the office were complaining about it and I told him to take care of it in a really nice way. But I didn't beat around the bush. I think most things said with kindness and an open heart can be taken the right way. Even kids know that. That said, I drive some of my 13 yo DS friends home and I can't breathe. I've never said anything, but I don't think it's effecting their social lives.

This. Seriously, some teens just stink. My niece does wear deodorant, but still can be a bit smelly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave it alone. A lot of kids stink. There isn’t a non offensive way to bring this up

This is OP. Something has to be done. Our car actually smells when she leaves. Even my DH complained today and he doesn’t smell anything. I really want to protect her from getting embarrassed or her feelings hurt by someone else who may not be nice about how they tell her.

This sounds very fake.

I believe it. My parents had a friend who came over and sat with his arm/armpit on the armrest and they had a difficult time getting the smell out after the guy left. That bacteria can get really rank.

This is probably 2 problems, deodorant and not washing/scrubbing properly.

OP I would talk to her & be direct but simple, give instructions & the why part too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to be washing the clothes too.

Yes though they probably need an enzyme cleaner at this point if she wears them a lot.

[Anonymous]

Get a fun gift basket with deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, hair clips, brush, nail polish and remover, soap or body wash and a puff, etc for her birthday or the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a fun gift basket with deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, hair clips, brush, nail polish and remover, soap or body wash and a puff, etc for her birthday or the holidays.

I think this is a good idea — and would probably ask the girls if they wanted to do a spa day together — so baskets for both girls, not just the friend.

[Anonymous]

Stop driving her - problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to be washing the clothes too.

Yes though they probably need an enzyme cleaner at this point if she wears them a lot.

Came here to say this too. It really sticks to polyester and certain other synthetic fabrics too.

That poor girl. I know of a girl a little older than this one who also has this problem and it has had a horrible effect on her socially and emotionally.

[Anonymous]

I told a kid this summer who we had to take on a road trip for an activity my daughter was involved in with him. The car stunk so bad I could not even be in there. I literally said "Honey, I don't want to make you feel bad, but you are a little stinky. Please take this deodorant. You can keep it for the rest of the trip." He never stank again and was appreciative. His parents are hands off and he sort of appreciates my moming, so it worked out ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told a kid this summer who we had to take on a road trip for an activity my daughter was involved in with him. The car stunk so bad I could not even be in there. I literally said "Honey, I don't want to make you feel bad, but you are a little stinky. Please take this deodorant. You can keep it for the rest of the trip." He never stank again and was appreciative. His parents are hands off and he sort of appreciates my moming, so it worked out ok.

You are a great mom, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a set up, but when you drive them could you say you have to stop at CVS quickly for some things and then buy them both deodorant and also candy or hair ties or a magazine each! Does your daughter already wear deodorant too?

I had an assistant once who was about 23. He had terrible BO and it was a problem. People in the office were complaining about it and I told him to take care of it in a really nice way. But I didn't beat around the bush. I think most things said with kindness and an open heart can be taken the right way. Even kids know that. That said, I drive some of my 13 yo DS friends home and I can't breathe. I've never said anything, but I don't think it's effecting their social lives.

This. Seriously, some teens just stink. My niece does wear deodorant, but still can be a bit smelly.

My car always smelt horrible when it was my turn to do the carpool ride home from soccer practice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave it alone. A lot of kids stink. There isn’t a non offensive way to bring this up

This is OP. Something has to be done. Our car actually smells when she leaves. Even my DH complained today and he doesn’t smell anything. I really want to protect her from getting embarrassed or her feelings hurt by someone else who may not be nice about how they tell her.

I don't have an answer but DS's friend had the same issue. I mentioned it as an educational issue for DS in passing. Eventually the school (private) itself issued a reminder to all students about the matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is a set up, but when you drive them could you say you have to stop at CVS quickly for some things and then buy them both deodorant and also candy or hair ties or a magazine each! Does your daughter already wear deodorant too?

I had an assistant once who was about 23. He had terrible BO and it was a problem. People in the office were complaining about it and I told him to take care of it in a really nice way. But I didn't beat around the bush. I think most things said with kindness and an open heart can be taken the right way. Even kids know that. That said, I drive some of my 13 yo DS friends home and I can't breathe. I've never said anything, but I don't think it's effecting their social lives.

+1

This is totally worth a try (the cvs idea).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave it alone. A lot of kids stink. There isn’t a non offensive way to bring this up

This is OP. Something has to be done. Our car actually smells when she leaves. Even my DH complained today and he doesn’t smell anything. I really want to protect her from getting embarrassed or her feelings hurt by someone else who may not be nice about how they tell her.

This sounds very fake.

This is OP. I am not exaggerating. It would be a weird thing to just make up. I’m trying to describe just how bad it is and this is one example that shows how bad it really is.