DD’s friend with bad underarm odor
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Anonymous
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My DD has the absolute sweetest friend who happens to have really bad underarm odor. Her mother is not American (neither are we). Although we are not from the same country, we share a similar culture and I understand that in their culture (as in ours) people don’t typically wear deodorant.
The girl’s mom is not friendly at all but we help her out with rides etc, sometimes because the mom works a job with odd shift hours. We have especially noticed this odor when driving her places because the windows are often closed initially. Last year another classmate used to drive her home but suddenly stopped - I am not sure if this is why. Anyway, how should we address this? The mom would be defensive if we told her this and I don’t want the girl to be embarrassed but someone really needs to tell her. She’s a really good, sweet kid who is very conscious of the fact that she needs a lot of favors from other parents because of her mom’s schedule. I really don’t want to embarrass her or make her uncomfortable. One option is telling a teacher the kids consider to be “cool” who probably has a good relationship with the girl and could probably talk to her about it in a non-offensive way. Any thoughts? |
Anonymous
| Oh that’s tough, poor love. Maybe you could give her a gift of some soaps, lotion and deo??? And maybe a girls self care book? |
Anonymous
| Leave it alone. A lot of kids stink. There isn’t a non offensive way to bring this up |
Anonymous
This is OP. Something has to be done. Our car actually smells when she leaves. Even my DH complained today and he doesn’t smell anything. I really want to protect her from getting embarrassed or her feelings hurt by someone else who may not be nice about how they tell her. |
Anonymous
| Plenty of kids have deodorant and don’t wear it because they forget, don’t care, don’t want to wear. Don’t assume she doesn’t have a stick (or several) available to her |
Anonymous
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Can your daughter tell her?
She could give her friend the same type deodorant she uses as a gift to soften the delivery. |
Anonymous
Not your problem. It may not be a problem for her at all either |
Anonymous
| Has your daughter mentioned it? If she’s aware you could maybe talk about a great smelling deodorant you got a three pack of and give one to the girl as an “extra”? |
Anonymous
| Yes she is the one who mentioned it to me first. And then when do drove the girl a couple of places I also noticed it. |
Anonymous
| whatever you do, don't place this responsibility on a teacher. |
Anonymous
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I know this is a set up, but when you drive them could you say you have to stop at CVS quickly for some things and then buy them both deodorant and also candy or hair ties or a magazine each! Does your daughter already wear deodorant too?
I had an assistant once who was about 23. He had terrible BO and it was a problem. People in the office were complaining about it and I told him to take care of it in a really nice way. But I didn't beat around the bush. I think most things said with kindness and an open heart can be taken the right way. Even kids know that. That said, I drive some of my 13 yo DS friends home and I can't breathe. I've never said anything, but I don't think it's effecting their social lives. |
Anonymous
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My son had a friend like this. We would have to air out the basement after he was over. Eventually they figure it out.
By 5th grade teachers definitely mentioned the need for deodorant at back to school night at our elementary school. |
Anonymous
This sounds very fake. |
Anonymous
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BO in a car does linger.
Go to Walmart or Target and get two personal hygiene kits. Give them to your daughter and let her give one to the girl. That way she won't be embarrassed. If Mom gets mad, oh well. |
Anonymous
| Buy some air freshener for your car. |