Crop tops

[Anonymous]

So bummed about this fad. I don't think it's deep in the "show skin to get attention" any more than baggy clothes fads are "I hate myself so I want to cover myself." The same little waifs I went to HS with who wore huge oversized jeans wore tiny jean shorts in summer. It's just what's on the runways and what the stores are selling.

That said, I think crop tops are ugh and not a fan of the tiny shorts either, but trying to find a middle ground between letting my daughter participate in a fashion and not being dismayed. Funny was when I helped her cut one of her shirts that we'd bought online and which had come way too big and I ended up creating the croppiest top of all. She was like, "You cut it, so you have to let me wear it!" And we all survive...

[Anonymous]

Crop tops with high-waisted shorts or jeans? Adorable. Otherwise, no.

[Anonymous]

Fashion is an endless cycle. I taught middle school in the early 2000's and the bare midriff trend was in then, making for constant dress code wars over low rise with crop tops with a certain segment of our student population.

Our students had what they called the "Math Teacher Test," as their math teacher would take them through it. To meet dress code, their clothes had to continue to meet when they 1) sat in a chair, 2) leaned over to get something out of their backpacks, 3) raised their hands, and 4) leaned forward to write. If all those criteria were met, the outfit passed. And honestly, some of the kids were really, really happy to have those specific guidelines, and they were genuinely confused about why a top that seemed normal at home standing in front of a mirror resulted in a dress code write up during first period.

The moral: if this is an family rule you want to make, be sure you spell it out for your kids with specific guidelines; policing it outfit by outfit is an exercise in frustration for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:S/o question by a NP.

My MSer asked all year for Nike Pros. At one point I think I knew they were short shorts. We haven’t policed length of her shorts. This summer someone in our neighborhood posted (text only) she was selling a pair for $8. I bought them. An immediate reminder that they are like tiny thin bike shorts. They're the right size I can see. Now I can’t bring myself to tell her I bought them. I know the look is to wear a baggy shirt or sweatshirt over top. But i feel like they’re no bigger than her little brother’s boxer briefs. Would you all hand these to your child? I have a range of opinions, both free and judgmental, on modesty. My judgmental opinions come from a different place than you’d think. Rooted in a little feminism & worry that these MS girls are too naive to understand (or not naive, and making a connection that showing skin is how they get to be liked).

To me Nike Pros are to be worn over a leotard when doing gymnastics. They're not for hanging out about town or going to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the concern.

What's wrong with middle schoolers dressing like a modern woman?

I would love for this amazing person to be my child and for my child to emulate her.

Do you not know who that is?

[Anonymous]

I don’t create rule other than the ones the school created.

I think they are adorable and much better than the big tented tshirt look.

Volleyball parents are over the Nike pro issue.

[Anonymous]

We made our kids aware of adult perverts at school -- through news stories and our own childhood anecdotes -- so they are not really that eager to show lots of skin in front of teachers and admins. If we all think hard enough I'm sure we can all remember one or two teachers in our own past who were def pervs.

This strategy works if you have a good trusting relationship and communication with your kids. It probably doesn't work on kids who are in a phase of tuning out everything mom and dad say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. IMO they’re inappropriate for school. They can wear them after school, before school and on weekends but for our family, they are not allowed during school.

And depending on your schools dress code, they might not even be allowed. I don’t know our school dress code, we don’t allow them at school.

Why are they inappropriate for school? I would love to hear your rationale about exposing navels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made our kids aware of adult perverts at school -- through news stories and our own childhood anecdotes -- so they are not really that eager to show lots of skin in front of teachers and admins. If we all think hard enough I'm sure we can all remember one or two teachers in our own past who were def pervs.

This strategy works if you have a good trusting relationship and communication with your kids. It probably doesn't work on kids who are in a phase of tuning out everything mom and dad say.

Wait wait wait wait - you are teaching your kids they have to dress a certain way to NOT make pervs actually pervs? You are victim blaming. Holy crap I can't believe you just typed this out and didn't consider yourself a terrible parent. Are there not pervs everywhere? You realize pervs don't care what people wear. Some pervs have 5yr old fetishes. Do you agree with Iran's stance on clothing and anything less for woman, they get locked up. I mean they are throwing themselves at men without their headscarf. Are all girls kidnapped only ones that have on crop tops?

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CLOTHING. You literally sound like a grandma from the 1930's. It is such an ick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can have this debate but I warn you, your kid might just wear a big sweatshirt with a crop top underneath

NP-I did this too but with short skirts. I just changed at school. But honestly, I think it's better to not cave and set a boundary even if you know it's likely that they will sneak around it. IF it's really a hill you want to die on, that is. You could also just not buy the crop tops at all or let her know that will be the consequence if she breaks the rule.

I have a couple of rules around leggings with my daughter and a couple around certain clothing items with my son as well (no, you cannot wear your favorite shirt with the giant hole in it to school). They don't like my rules but that's ok, they don't have to.

I supervise about 20 people and yesterday, one of the women came it wearing pants that seriously looked like they should be a bathing suit cover up. You could see her underwear perfectly. This is a public-facing position and I was so embarrassed for her and for our agency.

There is nothing wrong with boundaries and teaching what is appropriate/not appropriate in certain settings!

This is such a sticky line. Were you able to say anything? I'm sure it's an HR violation to address it in the moment. I'm not sure what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:S/o question by a NP.

My MSer asked all year for Nike Pros. At one point I think I knew they were short shorts. We haven’t policed length of her shorts. This summer someone in our neighborhood posted (text only) she was selling a pair for $8. I bought them. An immediate reminder that they are like tiny thin bike shorts. They're the right size I can see. Now I can’t bring myself to tell her I bought them. I know the look is to wear a baggy shirt or sweatshirt over top. But i feel like they’re no bigger than her little brother’s boxer briefs. Would you all hand these to your child? I have a range of opinions, both free and judgmental, on modesty. My judgmental opinions come from a different place than you’d think. Rooted in a little feminism & worry that these MS girls are too naive to understand (or not naive, and making a connection that showing skin is how they get to be liked).

To me Nike Pros are to be worn over a leotard when doing gymnastics. They're not for hanging out about town or going to school.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

For the parents who don't allow crop tops etc., what is your answer beyond "it's not appropriate" when the girls ask why they can't wear them?

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and I wear crop tops because I like how they look with high waisted bottoms. I specifically bought crop tops for my elementary daughter because she needed them for a look she was trying to achieve. They're just clothes covering our human bodies. Wtf is there to get my feeling and morality involved over?

[Anonymous]

DD can wear whatever she wants on weekends/during the summer. During the school year she has to follow the dress code. Lots of kids wear crop tops with a sweatshirt over them, which I am ok with because I don’t want to spend $ on shirts she can only wear during the summer.

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with crop tops. It's just that it only looks nice on those with slim waists...