Crop tops

[Anonymous]

Do you allow your teen (MS) to wear short crop tops to school? My teen started wearing those this summer but we feel it’s not appropriate for school. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

You can have this debate but I warn you, your kid might just wear a big sweatshirt with a crop top underneath

[Anonymous]

No. IMO they’re inappropriate for school. They can wear them after school, before school and on weekends but for our family, they are not allowed during school.

And depending on your schools dress code, they might not even be allowed. I don’t know our school dress code, we don’t allow them at school.

[Anonymous]

S/o question by a NP.

My MSer asked all year for Nike Pros. At one point I think I knew they were short shorts. We haven’t policed length of her shorts.

This summer someone in our neighborhood posted (text only) she was selling a pair for $8.

I bought them. An immediate reminder that they are like tiny thin bike shorts. They're the right size I can see.

Now I can’t bring myself to tell her I bought them.

I know the look is to wear a baggy shirt or sweatshirt over top. But i feel like they’re no bigger than her little brother’s boxer briefs.

Would you all hand these to your child?

I have a range of opinions, both free and judgmental, on modesty.

My judgmental opinions come from a different place than you’d think. Rooted in a little feminism & worry that these MS girls are too naive to understand (or not naive, and making a connection that showing skin is how they get to be liked).

[Anonymous]

Crop top no.
Shorts like boxers also no.
If she wants to sneak it out and change once she’s left the house that’s on her. But I’m not going to “ allow” that look when she leaves the house in the morning.

[Anonymous]

No. I know many parents allow it but in our family, we have our own dress code and my kids know that rules are different in each family. Bonus is that DD has no interest in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crop top no.
Shorts like boxers also no.
If she wants to sneak it out and change once she’s left the house that’s on her. But
I’m not going to “ allow” that look when she leaves the house in the morning.

This is why I don’t think I’ll hand over the Nike pros. It just gives her that chance to do it on her own, and without my knowledge.

-same np from before

[Anonymous]

My DDs can wear them during the summer, on weekends, etc. but they're not allowed by school dress code and they will get written up for wearing them so they don't even try the baggy sweatshirt thing. Re. Nike Pros, my older DD wears them under her soccer shorts and occasionally to bed. Never in public by themselves.

[Anonymous]

No butts, no guts. That was the rule at our school for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can have this debate but I warn you, your kid might just wear a big sweatshirt with a crop top underneath

It’s this. My daughter has lots of crop tops and will wear them to middle school. We discuss buying ones that are slightly cropped and not the ones that look like bras. It probably makes it worse that I’m a teacher and see what so many students come in wearing. It has desensitized me to outfits.

I would not let her wear the super tiny shorts to school and won’t buy those. This is where I prefer the pj pants.

[Anonymous]

I had to google Nike Pros. They look like volleyball shorts. I’d let my kid wear them to volleyball but that’s about it. Not to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can have this debate but I warn you, your kid might just wear a big sweatshirt with a crop top underneath

NP-I did this too but with short skirts. I just changed at school. But honestly, I think it's better to not cave and set a boundary even if you know it's likely that they will sneak around it. IF it's really a hill you want to die on, that is. You could also just not buy the crop tops at all or let her know that will be the consequence if she breaks the rule.

I have a couple of rules around leggings with my daughter and a couple around certain clothing items with my son as well (no, you cannot wear your favorite shirt with the giant hole in it to school). They don't like my rules but that's ok, they don't have to.

I supervise about 20 people and yesterday, one of the women came it wearing pants that seriously looked like they should be a bathing suit cover up. You could see her underwear perfectly. This is a public-facing position and I was so embarrassed for her and for our agency.

There is nothing wrong with boundaries and teaching what is appropriate/not appropriate in certain settings!

[Anonymous]

Not the very short crop tops. It depends a little on the pant waist. Generally I think not more than a couple inches of real estate showing between pants and top. And you have to be able to raise your hand to ask a question without your bra area showing. I think that’s similar to what I wore in the 80s. I grew up in a very hot climate so the definitely wore crop tops. We ate lunch outside in temps in the 80s and 90s for most of the year.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the concern.

What's wrong with middle schoolers dressing like a modern woman?

[Anonymous]

Nike pro shorts are either for athletics (volleyball, gymnastics, etc) or under short dresses. They aren't meant to be a stand alone item for everyday wear.

I wouldn't let my middle schooler wear crop tops to school. I would let my high schooler if it's not too revealing. MS kids don't need to be dressing like they are in HS. Save the Princess Polly for later.