What do Stay at Home Moms really think of WFH Husbands
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Anonymous
| Got used to having DH home during the pandemic. Now he goes in to the office 3-5 days a week. I'm fine with either setup. We have always gotten along since college. |
Anonymous
If anything, my DH is more appreciative of how much I do at home. |
Anonymous
| I'm disappointed lol at first glance I thought you were asking what mom's thought about stay a home dads. |
Anonymous
THIS is THE WORST part!!! Husbands if you are reading this PLEASE lower your voice on your calls and stop pacing around the house when on the phone speaking so loudly. PLEASE. |
Anonymous
SAME. I miss my alone time soooooooooooo much. |
Anonymous
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It's going to depend on the size of the house, the WFH set up, individual personalities, and the job.
I'm not a SAHM but I do work PT in a fully remote role and have been the primary parent for a while. And DH used to work full time in the office, but then was full time remote for 2 years and is now hybrid with 2 days at home. We have a small home without a great office set up -- remote work largely happens in common areas, though there is some capacity for privacy in our bedroom if needed for calls, but we both use it so you can't count on it all the time. I acknowledge that having DH home more is good for his relationship with our kids and has taken some of the pressure off me since he now does drop-off and pick-up two days a week when he was never able to before (though on days he does pick up, he then goes back to work and I am the on-duty parent until he's done). He also does help around the house on his remote days, though this is a bit of a wash because he also makes more messes when he is home -- I don't think I really gain anything from that in the long run, and it might even be a net negative because I've noticed that just basic wear and tear on our home is so much higher with him working from home. Literally our floors look more worn out and our furniture has gotten a lot more use. We go through toilet paper, light bulbs, and food more quickly. In terms of my general happiness, I will admit to missing some of my solitude. I have struggled to adjust to a work environment where I'm not alone -- it was something I'd really acclimated to and having him around, listening to him on the phone or sometimes having him in my space when I'm trying to focus, has been disruptive. I think he knows this on some level, but obviously he likes the remote work and I don't blame him. But it has been harder for me. It also feels kind of chaotic on days when the kids are off school and he's still working remotely. My work is flexible so I've always taken those days off and put effort into making those days fun and meaningful with the kids. It can be awkward when I'm trying to set up a fun day and DH is trying to work, and a part of me thinks "you should have just gone to the office today." But I recently suggested that he perhaps choose some of these days to take off and be the point person with the kids, and I will work those days instead. He seems amenable. It might at least make him less likely to shush the kids or get annoyed with the noise we make leaving the house for a picnic or museum outing while he's trying to take calls. It's ridiculous when he does that and I don't think he yet understands why. I'm also trying to convince him to move to a bigger home in a LCOL area but he doesn't want a longer commute on his in-office days. Can you tell I'm annoyed but trying to make it work? I'm annoyed but trying to make it work. |
Anonymous
| I like the hybrid when he is home 2 days a week. Anymore than that he is too much in my space, asking too many questions - lol!! |
Anonymous
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I’m happier when my husband works at the office. He naturally enjoys working from home- he can sleep in later, can wear shorts and tee-shirt, he can meander around and do kid pick-up.
But I miss having my space and our old routines. Having him come home at the end of the day was nice. We’d catch up, have a nice meal. Now it feels like one long day with no separation between us. |
Anonymous
Oh god I thought this was just my DH. It drives me nuts because I will actually make an effort to stay out of his way when he's on calls, and to keep kids out of his way, but then he'll get up and wander into the kitchen where I'm doing dishes or down the hallway near where the the kids are playing and I'm like "why are you here?" Meanwhile, if a child wanders into his office space or I pop my head in to ask him a question, we're interrupting. |
Anonymous
+100 My DH expects everyone to be quiet when he works from home. No! Go to the OFFICE |
Anonymous
NP. My husband is the same! He will then raise his voice and talk loud on the phone to drown us out. Why would anyone want to work at home during the summer with a house of children and activity? I don’t see the appeal. Working in a nice quiet office seems more productive. |
Anonymous
Communicate and find solutions to make it work for both of you. |
Anonymous
| I love it. I have so much flexibility when he's home. We also can have lunch dates. I hate when he's in the office away. |
Anonymous
| Hybrid set up is a better solution for most family. |
Anonymous
| *families |