The burden of so much ‘meaningful’ stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When grandpa was moving out of his house, all the kids amd grandkids were gathered (summoned?), and/but we had a plan. The adult grandkid in charge told us all to take stuff, as grandpa lived through the depression and was a bit of a hoarder (think broken appliances, because he thought someone could fix them). So, he happily asked us who wanted different items, we all happily said yes, and then we all donated or dumped the stuff we took that we didn't want.

Grandpa was happy thinking his important stuff was with family, and family was happy to all help get rid of the junk and help him with this big move/transition

This. I often take stuff that relatives offer and act happy about it because it makes them happy and solves a problem for them. Then I immediately donate or trash. Much easier for me to do that last step then them to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Omg! Girl!

And even the jewelry is pretty iffy.

[Anonymous]

No Linda I don’t want Aunt Susan’s broken glockenspiel.

I don’t understand the sentimental attachment to crap. I’m with the poster above - unless it has actual value that stuff is going in the trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Omg! Girl!

And even the jewelry is pretty iffy.

JTV Gold Exchange

[Anonymous]

My MIL had a conniption when no one wanted full photo albums of her parents’ vacations.

Like, THEY went to Japan. Glad they had a good time. Save one photo per trip. Then go live YOUR life and make your own wonderful memories on vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL had a conniption when no one wanted full photo albums of her parents’ vacations.

Like, THEY went to Japan. Glad they had a good time. Save one photo per trip. Then go live YOUR life and make your own wonderful memories on vacations.

I absolutely love my grandparents albums! (But I do know that’s my particular attachment to my grandparents and interest in both history and photography and would never pressure my kids to take them.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Ugh, you could have been a bit more diplomatic.

+1. I would leave you $1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Omg! Girl!

And even the jewelry is pretty iffy.

Eh, jewelry doesn’t take up much room. Funnily, I have a few rings that my mom had inherited from her mom. My mom never wore them because they were out of date and not her style. They’re from the 1920s and have a vintage Art Deco look. They don’t have much monetary value, might be worth $50 at the most, but I love them and I love that they belonged to my grandmother.

So, maybe it’s worth it to keep a few small items that your kids may appreciate.

[Anonymous]

My mom has a lot of collectibles that are worth money to someone (not me) or have sentimental value because of how she got them. I would love for her to write out what they are or how she came to have them. Then I might either understand what they mean to her or be able to sell them. She doesn't want to do it, though.

[Anonymous]

My mom has been amazing. My dad died 5 years ago.

My mom completely cleared out the house of 50 years, asked us what we wanted. They had renovated over the years and kept up maintenance of everything so house looks great- not old or musty. And she has all paperwork, will etc.

She also (at 79) went and bought a condo in a retirement community that also has assisted living for when the need comes she will move to that building. She sold the house herself—did so much work leading up to it and a neighbor was helping her sell things on Craigslist.

My mom always said it’s a gift to your kids not to burden them with all of that. She saw far too many bad experiences and worked at an assisted living facility herself before she retired.

I plan to do the same for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Ugh, you could have been a bit more diplomatic.

+1. I would leave you $1

NP. You say that like it’s a punishment, but that’s actually a favor. Leaving someone nothing means they don’t have endless chores for months and months, trying to give away unwanted items and having to throw things away. Giving someone only $1 is actually saving them from sinking hours if not days if not weeks of taking care of your possessions, so that’s actually quite generous. I would 100% take that deal. I have my own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Ugh, you could have been a bit more diplomatic.

+1. I would leave you $1

+2. Totally lacking in grace.

[Anonymous]

My mom is a sentimental hoarder. I was so thankful when she and my dad moved to a smaller house a few years ago because it meant she had to go through all her stuff. And when I say hoarder I mean I had at least one storage box for every year I'd been alive, an envelope filled with baby teeth, artwork, report cards, etc etc. That didn't even touch on the 60+ photo albums she has, which she is now in the process of going through as she knows neither my brother nor I will want all of them.

[Anonymous]

My parents are healthy in their early 70s, but have cleared out almost all their unused stuff.

My MIL has a lot of stuff, but nearly all of it has stickers on it saying who gets it after her death.

Some families do exactly what you are suggesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have told my parents and ILs that unless its money, real estate, or jewelry I don't want it. ILs were stung but I stand by what I said.

Ugh, you could have been a bit more diplomatic.

+1. I would leave you $1

NP. You say that like it’s a punishment, but that’s actually a favor. Leaving someone nothing means they don’t have endless chores for months and months, trying to give away unwanted items and having to throw things away. Giving someone only $1 is actually saving them from sinking hours if not days if not weeks of taking care of your possessions, so that’s actually quite generous. I would 100% take that deal. I have my own money.

Lol +1. The person saying they’d leave someone $1 speaks like someone with nothing of value to leave behind.

Don’t leave me a headache. That’s all I ask. And if you do, all your stuff is getting trashed immediately.