Furious over Father's Day

[Anonymous]

Do you and your step mom get along?
I would be hurt too but if you and her have friction maybe she just wanted a relaxing vacation with her kids and spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has the right to go on a vacation with the people they’ll enjoy being around. Why would college age people have wanted you to hang out with them? You’d cramp their style.

These are my own siblings, not cousins for example. And people who I consider my immediate family. I just feel that if it is a Father's Day cruise, the father's oldest daughter should've been invited. After all, he wouldn't have been a father all these years(30), if it weren't for me.

Maybe being a father to you wasn’t great for him. Maybe he enjoys it more with your younger siblings. Maybe you’re high maintenance and he doesn’t want to deal with that on a cruise.

[Anonymous]

I would ask point blank my father why he didn't invite me on the cruise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask point blank my father why he didn't invite me on the cruise.

you could do this, but be prepared to listen to the answer. Tell him you would appreciate his truthfulness if there are things you need to work on.

[Anonymous]

Why is it automatically assumed that the evil stepmother is behind all this? Where in OP's postings is there evidence for "off with the stepmother's head?"

Is it possible that all of this was OP's FATHER's decision? Maybe he is the one who decided he didn't want OP on the trip, rightly or wrongly.

Maybe it was the other siblings who decided they didn't want her on the trip.

Maybe OP has declared previously that she hates cruising, or can't afford one, or has anxiety about being on water, or any other reason - so they didn't invite her.

Sure, there should have been better communication and more transparency about this trip but to automatically assume it's all the stepmother's fault is nothing more than unfair judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly what happened?
Your two half siblings paid for a trip for them and their parents (including your dad) to go on a cruise?
Or your dad paid for a cruise for him, wife, their kids, but not you (his oldest kid?).

You think college aged kids paid for a cruise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it automatically assumed that the evil stepmother is behind all this? Where in OP's postings is there evidence for "off with the stepmother's head?"

Is it possible that all of this was OP's FATHER's decision? Maybe he is the one who decided he didn't want OP on the trip, rightly or wrongly.

Maybe it was the other siblings who decided they didn't want her on the trip.

Maybe OP has declared previously that she hates cruising, or can't afford one, or has anxiety about being on water, or any other reason - so they didn't invite her.

Sure, there should have been better communication and more transparency about this trip but to automatically assume it's all the stepmother's fault is nothing more than unfair judgement.

Nobody has suggested confronting the stepmother. This is on the Father even if the stepmother/siblings who planned the trip.

You always invite people and if they can't pay/handle water/etc they decline, you never assume someone will decline and don't invite them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has the right to go on a vacation with the people they’ll enjoy being around. Why would college age people have wanted you to hang out with them? You’d cramp their style.

These are my own siblings, not cousins for example. And people who I consider my immediate family. I just feel that if it is a Father's Day cruise, the father's oldest daughter should've been invited. After all, he wouldn't have been a father all these years(30), if it weren't for me.

Maybe being a father to you wasn’t great for him. Maybe he enjoys it more with your younger siblings. Maybe you’re high maintenance and he doesn’t want to deal with that on a cruise.

Not OP, but so what? None of those are reasons to exclude one kid. I’d be pissed, too.

[Anonymous]

There’s not enough detail here to make a call.

Is this a surprise for your dad?

Who paid for the cruise?

Are these step siblings?

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised that the responses are so unsympathetic to OP. I’m a remarried mom with one kid from a previous relationship and one with my husband and it is fully our responsibility to unconditionally love, support, and include my daughter in our nuclear family. She has difficulties due to the trauma of divorce and loss and will likely always be emotionally burdensome in some ways but that’s my and her dads fault, not hers, and our job is to just keep loving her and paying for her therapy. I would do this to her and frankly neither would her step dad.

OP what has happened to you isn’t right or fair. And btw I’m part of a “second family” and my older sisters are routinely excluded. My parents really didn’t make an effort to appropriately blend. There are lots of family vacations without them. It’s not right, but it’s on my parents and it isn’t my job to make up for my parent’s (mostly my dad since he is the biological parent) shortfalls on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly what happened?
Your two half siblings paid for a trip for them and their parents (including your dad) to go on a cruise?
Or your dad paid for a cruise for him, wife, their kids, but not you (his oldest kid?).

You think college aged kids paid for a cruise?

…”they aren’t getting them anything but the cruise” - those are OP’s words so it sounds like it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised that the responses are so unsympathetic to OP. I’m a remarried mom with one kid from a previous relationship and one with my husband and it is fully our responsibility to unconditionally love, support, and include my daughter in our nuclear family. She has difficulties due to the trauma of divorce and loss and will likely always be emotionally burdensome in some ways but that’s my and her dads fault, not hers, and our job is to just keep loving her and paying for her therapy. I would do this to her and frankly neither would her step dad.

OP what has happened to you isn’t right or fair. And btw I’m part of a “second family” and my older sisters are routinely excluded. My parents really didn’t make an effort to appropriately blend. There are lots of family vacations without them. It’s not right, but it’s on my parents and it isn’t my job to make up for my parent’s (mostly my dad since he is the biological parent) shortfalls on this.

Should say I would *never* do this to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has the right to go on a vacation with the people they’ll enjoy being around. Why would college age people have wanted you to hang out with them? You’d cramp their style.

These are my own siblings, not cousins for example. And people who I consider my immediate family. I just feel that if it is a Father's Day cruise, the father's oldest daughter should've been invited. After all, he wouldn't have been a father all these years(30), if it weren't for me.

Maybe being a father to you wasn’t great for him. Maybe he enjoys it more with your younger siblings. Maybe you’re high maintenance and he doesn’t want to deal with that on a cruise.

Not OP, but so what? None of those are reasons to exclude one kid. I’d be pissed, too.

They are exactly the reasons to exclude someone!

[Anonymous]

Call your dad and ask about Father’s Day. Say you want to do something special for him. Let it get really awkward when he has to tell you that he’s not going to be around because he’s going on vacation with the rest of his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly what happened?
Your two half siblings paid for a trip for them and their parents (including your dad) to go on a cruise?
Or your dad paid for a cruise for him, wife, their kids, but not you (his oldest kid?).

You think college aged kids paid for a cruise?

…”they aren’t getting them anything but the cruise” - those are OP’s words so it sounds like it?

“they” = their mom