What to say to a family member who says “learn to take a joke”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who frequently says something rude, demeaning or insulting and then if you ask him to stop, or say that you are hurt or offended he makes out that you are the one in the wrong, that he’s just a joker and you don’t know how to take a joke. This has gone on for long enough that it fills me with rage to be told that I don’t have a sense of humor or need to learn to take a joke or I’m too sensitive. There’s nothing funny about these “jokes” and my sense of humor is just fine.

Do I just ignore the mean spirited “jokes” or is there a better approach I’m overlooking? Sharing that I find what he’s said to be mean and unfunny just makes him double down that I need to lighten up or get a sense of humor. Fortunately I don’t see this family member often but I have to see him next week and am dreading it.

You respond "learn how to not be a passive aggressive a**hole."

Or nasty comments are not jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who frequently says something rude, demeaning or insulting and then if you ask him to stop, or say that you are hurt or offended he makes out that you are the one in the wrong, that he’s just a joker and you don’t know how to take a joke. This has gone on for long enough that it fills me with rage to be told that I don’t have a sense of humor or need to learn to take a joke or I’m too sensitive. There’s nothing funny about these “jokes” and my sense of humor is just fine.

Do I just ignore the mean spirited “jokes” or is there a better approach I’m overlooking? Sharing that I find what he’s said to be mean and unfunny just makes him double down that I need to lighten up or get a sense of humor. Fortunately I don’t see this family member often but I have to see him next week and am dreading it.

I have family members like you and they are exhausting. There is a reason they aren't invited to many things anymore, it's too much work for all of us in the family to deal with their issues. Learn to take a joke. You take the fun out of everything.

Feel free to stay home if you can only have fun by insulting people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who frequently says something rude, demeaning or insulting and then if you ask him to stop, or say that you are hurt or offended he makes out that you are the one in the wrong, that he’s just a joker and you don’t know how to take a joke. This has gone on for long enough that it fills me with rage to be told that I don’t have a sense of humor or need to learn to take a joke or I’m too sensitive. There’s nothing funny about these “jokes” and my sense of humor is just fine.

Do I just ignore the mean spirited “jokes” or is there a better approach I’m overlooking? Sharing that I find what he’s said to be mean and unfunny just makes him double down that I need to lighten up or get a sense of humor. Fortunately I don’t see this family member often but I have to see him next week and am dreading it.

I have family members like you and they are exhausting. There is a reason they aren't invited to many things anymore, it's too much work for all of us in the family to deal with their issues. Learn to take a joke. You take the fun out of everything.

How nice that you get your kicks by being insulting and demeaning. The rest of us get our fun in other ways. Do you really think it’s ok to get your happiness from making other people feel bad?

[Anonymous]

I deal with this one of two ways. The first way is I say if nobody’s laughing it’s not a joke. The second way I deal with it is that I make an extremely rude joke about that person and I say who’s laughing now.

[Anonymous]

My BIL makes rude jokes about us having a nanny … like I can’t care for my own kids.

Hi says, it’s cheaper than divorcing and just never seeing them.

[Anonymous]

1. If you can't avoid him: say the meanest, nastiest, most below the belt "jokes" right to his face. He's going to laugh at first, then when you continue doing it, he's slowly going to get the message.

2. If you can avoid him, please do.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone has the same sense of humor, and it’s gross that he forces his jokes upon you despite you repeatedly telling him I’m so many words that you don’t like his “jokes”. I’d probably point out how tone deaf he is to his audience. Good comedians can read the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him: I don’t think it’s funny. Please keep these terrible remarks to yourself in my presence. I will not tolerate being spoke n to this way. If you speak to me like this again, I will leave. Then do it. You don’t want to be in their presence anyway.

Oh yea, great come back, people in real life will really respond to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a mean bully. Ask him why he is so insecure? Definitely call him out. Don't act hurt, tell him he is an A hole.

Agree. This is a bullying tactic. It is mean and cruel. Get this person out of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who frequently says something rude, demeaning or insulting and then if you ask him to stop, or say that you are hurt or offended he makes out that you are the one in the wrong, that he’s just a joker and you don’t know how to take a joke. This has gone on for long enough that it fills me with rage to be told that I don’t have a sense of humor or need to learn to take a joke or I’m too sensitive. There’s nothing funny about these “jokes” and my sense of humor is just fine.

Do I just ignore the mean spirited “jokes” or is there a better approach I’m overlooking? Sharing that I find what he’s said to be mean and unfunny just makes him double down that I need to lighten up or get a sense of humor. Fortunately I don’t see this family member often but I have to see him next week and am dreading it.

I have family members like you and they are exhausting. There is a reason they aren't invited to many things anymore, it's too much work for all of us in the family to deal with their issues. Learn to take a joke. You take the fun out of everything.

Oh look, the family member has arrived.

You are the one with the issue. It's called being an a-hat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone has the same sense of humor, and it’s gross that he forces his jokes upon you despite you repeatedly telling him I’m so many words that you don’t like his “jokes”. I’d probably point out how tone deaf he is to his audience. Good comedians can read the room.

+1

[Anonymous]

“Learn to stop being a little b**ch.”

JK I’d probably cry and avoid him at all costs.

[Anonymous]

Just look him in the eye, calmly say "please stop" and get up and walk away
The next time he pulls his crap, hold up your hand in the "stop" configuration and say nothing.
Back in the 80s we called that "talk to the hand" but the key was not saying anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who frequently says something rude, demeaning or insulting and then if you ask him to stop, or say that you are hurt or offended he makes out that you are the one in the wrong, that he’s just a joker and you don’t know how to take a joke. This has gone on for long enough that it fills me with rage to be told that I don’t have a sense of humor or need to learn to take a joke or I’m too sensitive. There’s nothing funny about these “jokes” and my sense of humor is just fine.

Do I just ignore the mean spirited “jokes” or is there a better approach I’m overlooking? Sharing that I find what he’s said to be mean and unfunny just makes him double down that I need to lighten up or get a sense of humor. Fortunately I don’t see this family member often but I have to see him next week and am dreading it.

I have family members like you and they are exhausting. There is a reason they aren't invited to many things anymore, it's too much work for all of us in the family to deal with their issues. Learn to take a joke. You take the fun out of everything.

Found the toxic person like OP’s family member!

P.S. Your “jokes” are childish, passive aggressive abd nit funny. You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My response to a family member like this was, "Learn to make one."

Or “you’re a shitty comedian”