My straight 70 yo Dad is on Transgender websites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a transgender website?

I don't know...that's what this website he's on is called.

The website is called “Transgender Website” ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

So what if they do?

Also he is 70, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a transgender website?

I don't know...that's what this website he's on is called.

The website is called “Transgender Website” ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

DP: then I would tell him this, gently and alone. "Dad, your name, your REAL name, which is tied to your business, showed up on some trans dating sites. Whatever you do, whoever you are, I love you and it's okay with me as long as you're being safe and using protection. But can I help you delete these profiles with your real name so that your clients don't find this - not everyone is as open-minded as we want them to be and I'd hate for this to negatively affect your business or how you're treated. So can I help you delete those? You can create a new profile with a handle that's not tied to your name, and create a gmail address specifically for this. Can I show you how?

And then I'd encourage him to tell his ... wife?

I don't support him cheating on my Mom with anyone so that definitely would not be my talk track..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a transgender website?

I don't know...that's what this website he's on is called.

The website is called “Transgender Website” ?

Yep. Trans dating website is literally the name

[Anonymous]

Eh tell your mom if you think she should know, otherwise, leave it be.

[Anonymous]

The only problem is the risk of STDs. Other than that, honestly at that age, I couldn't care less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh tell your mom if you think she should know, otherwise, leave it be.

My Mom is a string woman. But how TF do you tell anyone this? I'd rather put it on him but honestly I don't know that he wouldn't commit suicide if I confronted him or her. He's had depression issues in the past

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

DP: then I would tell him this, gently and alone. "Dad, your name, your REAL name, which is tied to your business, showed up on some trans dating sites. Whatever you do, whoever you are, I love you and it's okay with me as long as you're being safe and using protection. But can I help you delete these profiles with your real name so that your clients don't find this - not everyone is as open-minded as we want them to be and I'd hate for this to negatively affect your business or how you're treated. So can I help you delete those? You can create a new profile with a handle that's not tied to your name, and create a gmail address specifically for this. Can I show you how?

And then I'd encourage him to tell his ... wife?

I don't support him cheating on my Mom with anyone so that definitely would not be my talk track..

Of course, but here's the thing. 1. He may just be looking and not dating people. 2. He may not KNOW if he's trans. Some older people have lived so conservatively that they're literally not sure of the wording to describe how they feel, and he's trying to figure that out. Maybe he's "just" gay. Maybe he just wants to cross-dress but thinks that makes him trans. He might be on a dating site trying to talk to others to learn how he feels. If he's so non-tech savvy that he used his real name, then it makes sense to me he doesn't have the words for this. I would not jump to the conclusion he's cheating on your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

So what if they do?

Also he is 70, right?

He's in a very macho field. This wouldn't go over well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

if this is your true concern, then you send him a note that just says something like "Dad, it was brought to my attention that you used your real name on a dating website. It's not my business but I thought you would want to know".

Tell him like this. If he’s older, he may not realize that you don’t put your real info on the internet like that. Tell him for that reason alone and don’t even mention the transgender site or anything about your mom.

Another reason to tell him is the small possibility that he didn’t actually create this and someone else did, knowing he has a distinct name and a business. He also needs to know for that reason. What if he didn’t create this?

[Anonymous]

21:08 again. I’m thinking of many years ago when my macho FIL was in his 70s, some of his grandkids thought it would be funny to start a social media account for him. He had no idea it existed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

So what if they do?

Also he is 70, right?

He's in a very macho field. This wouldn't go over well.

He's probably at the tail end of his career. Let him have his late life crisis/awakening

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think he's straight?

His transgender dating profile says it

Zaddy is definitely on the LGBTQ+ spread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's married to my Mom and my cousin found him on social media which then lead me to confirm he had other profiles. Wwyd? Confront him? Tell my Mom? Wtf

how do you know it's actually his profile and not someone posing as him?