My straight 70 yo Dad is on Transgender websites

[Anonymous]

Your parents are elderly, your dad is now wearing wigs online and has a dating profile on a Trans website. Your mom already knows, leave them be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are elderly, your dad is now wearing wigs online and has a dating profile on a Trans website. Your mom already knows, leave them be.

My Mom was aware years ago when he was having an affair. This? I doubt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

if this is your true concern, then you send him a note that just says something like "Dad, it was brought to my attention that you used your real name on a dating website. It's not my business but I thought you would want to know".

Or it was brought to my attention that your name is on a dating website and thought you would want to know. It’s not my business, but if you have anything out there you would not want to be known publicly, you can delete the account and make a new account under a pseudonym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are elderly, your dad is now wearing wigs online and has a dating profile on a Trans website. Your mom already knows, leave them be.

My Mom was aware years ago when he was having an affair. This? I doubt.

So same shit, different flavor? I'd drop it in this case, personally. Infidelity is obviously not a deal-breaker.

[Anonymous]

Maybe add in the cousin found it? So he knows his siblings may find out…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are elderly, your dad is now wearing wigs online and has a dating profile on a Trans website. Your mom already knows, leave them be.

+1

This is almost certainly the case. Just MYOB and tell your cousin to drop it too.

[Anonymous]

Your dad is transgender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your dad is transgender.

Based on the wig, I think this is a pretty good possibility. What's the point in confronting her parent about this though? What is she looking for? Confirmation that the parent is a trans woman? Conformation that the parent is a cis man that's trans attracted? In my view, either way it's none of her business and if her parent is a closeted trans woman, that's essentially forcing them to out themselves before they're ready (which may be something that may never happen given age) which is wrong. It's already gone too far with family spreading rumors.

[Anonymous]

OMG just get to the point:

Dad: your real name, pictures, etc are associated with a transgender website looking for hookups. Deal with it.
Also, you're telling Mom or I am. She has a right to know her husband is out there trolling. That part of this entire thing disgusts me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

This how is ot affecting you? Let the guy live his life in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about just talk to him first?

My Dad is an angry person that doesn't respond to even gentle confrontation well. But I can try.

Someone above mentioned Katy Tur’s book. You might also consider Susan Faludi’s book. Both discuss their father’s anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG just get to the point:

Dad: your real name, pictures, etc are associated with a transgender website looking for hookups. Deal with it.
Also, you're telling Mom or I am. She has a right to know her husband is out there trolling. That part of this entire thing disgusts me.

This. And I would add that cousin has seen it, raising the question of who else knows. I could not live with this secret and would have to let my mom know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

This how is ot affecting you? Let the guy live his life in peace.

Seriously. Has he been a good husband/father/human being up to this point in his long life? Leave him alone. Maybe this is his kink. He’s not hurting anyone.

[Anonymous]

I think it is someone who dislikes him trying to prank him. I’ve known some juvenile co-workers when I was in my 20s who totally would do this kind of thing to a higher up that was kind of an a-hole.

The second most likely scenario is that he is trans or trans curious and your mom knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No you don't confront him, what is there to confront? Poor guy, has probably felt this way his whole life but is too scared to be his true self. You want to blow up his life at this point? Please think this through.

My Dad has a VERY distinct name and a business with that name and was STUPID enough to use his real name with his trasgender dating profile. So there is NO hiding this. If my cousin found it his clients will find it.

Why in the world is this anyone's business but his? NO that was not "stupid" you are a hateful shit.