Start to feel suicidal when I’m alone with kids for multiple days and not getting out

[Anonymous]

Single parent here after divorcing a physically abusive narcissist. I am alone with kids 100% of the time. I have no support. I am suicidal all the time. It’s something I just live with. Reality is too painful to think about so I just try to dissociate and get by day to day.

[Anonymous]

OP if you can today, go out for a walk once the sleet/rain stops. I know I feel down when I’m stuck in with kids but never felt suicidal. I think you need professional help. Call 988 if you feel like this again today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single parent here after divorcing a physically abusive narcissist. I am alone with kids 100% of the time. I have no support. I am suicidal all the time. It’s something I just live with. Reality is too painful to think about so I just try to dissociate and get by day to day.

I am so sorry. Please reach out for help.

[Anonymous]

Op, can you take a shower, make yourself a warm drink, and put on a great movie just for you? Call 988 if you need to talk. You are important, irreplaceable, and loved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse travels pretty much every other week and I have three kids under 7 that have been sick for months so I totally get it.

I don't have great advice. Everyone is all "self-care" but that doesn't work so well the way my family is designed I get shit on 100% of the time and my husband gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants.

I mean most kids will spend an hour staring at a movie at any age. Order food for delivery and let the dishes pile up and hit the tub.

Wow, that's great for like 2 hours but what do I do with the remaining 96? And, no. My 1 year old will not sit for a movie, lol. How long had it been since you had children?

Are you the OP? You said that you have kids, not that you have a baby. Calm down and listen to people who are trying to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single parent here after divorcing a physically abusive narcissist. I am alone with kids 100% of the time. I have no support. I am suicidal all the time. It’s something I just live with. Reality is too painful to think about so I just try to dissociate and get by day to day.

I am so sorry. Please reach out for help.

Help from who? My past can’t be changed and it’s what got me here. Paying someone to listen requires money I don’t have and how would it change anything anyway. No one I know has the bandwidth or inclination to do anything substantively useful and I’m not entitled to that anyway. Their resources are theirs. I am alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you saying it's not normal probably don't know a lot of SAHMs in our current society.

It's totally common. Maybe we shouldn't characterize it as normal but it is common.

I say this as someone who lost a very close family member to suicide not too long ago.

It might be common, but the OP should still consider getting help (like professional help).

[Anonymous]

Please call the suicide hotline immediately. They can put you in touch with free resources to get help. It’s 988.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single parent here after divorcing a physically abusive narcissist. I am alone with kids 100% of the time. I have no support. I am suicidal all the time. It’s something I just live with. Reality is too painful to think about so I just try to dissociate and get by day to day.

I am so sorry. Please reach out for help.

Help from who? My past can’t be changed and it’s what got me here. Paying someone to listen requires money I don’t have and how would it change anything anyway. No one I know has the bandwidth or inclination to do anything substantively useful and I’m not entitled to that anyway. Their resources are theirs. I am alone.

There are free resources available. Please call 988 to find out where they are in your area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single parent here after divorcing a physically abusive narcissist. I am alone with kids 100% of the time. I have no support. I am suicidal all the time. It’s something I just live with. Reality is too painful to think about so I just try to dissociate and get by day to day.

I am so sorry. Please reach out for help.

Help from who? My past can’t be changed and it’s what got me here. Paying someone to listen requires money I don’t have and how would it change anything anyway. No one I know has the bandwidth or inclination to do anything substantively useful and I’m not entitled to that anyway. Their resources are theirs. I am alone.

You aren’t alone. There are people in this thread who already care about you and we don’t even know who you are. Please call the suicide hotline and let us help you.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t been to this site for a long time, but suddenly checked recent topics today. This feels like a sign. To anyone who is having suicidal thoughts right now, this is for you.

As some who had a mental breakdown/suicidal ideation due to depression and anxiety (and prescription drug abuse), I have been there. I’m not sure how it’s manifesting for you, but I wanted to create a pocket in reality where I could climb in, close it, and just…rest in the darkness. The only way I figured I could do that is by killing myself. I didn’t really want to DIE, per se, but it was the only way I could think of to get relief.

Please, please, do not listen to those lies (or others). Your mind isn’t well right now and it can’t be expected to tell you the truth. I had a breakdown and went to the pysch ward/detox when I saw an emergency pysch provider. It saved my life. They have a clinic at INOVA FFX, and I’m sure other places. If getting there is too hard, please do as others say and call 988. They will be there for whatever you need-references for free mental health care, talking you down, or just listening.

You cannot change your past, but you can affect your future. And I promise, no matter how hard it is now, those in your future WANT YOU THERE. Your kids, they need and love you. I am sending you love and light with all my heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

Oh and by the way I did not ask enough for a babysitter or for more time alone from the kids (because it is very, very hard to advocate for yourself when you are in the throes of major depression) and I abruptly checked myself into a psych ward. The first thing I did was slept for 14 hours. I spent a weekend getting adequate sleep and talking to people who struggled like me. That weekend turned my life around, and it wasn’t because of the therapist or the psychiatrist I spoke with for an hour total. I will never again let myself get into a situation where my basic needs are not being met.

I do go to therapy and I am on meds but those would be useless if I was continually isolated, ill, and sleep-deprived.

[Anonymous]

Please call your GP and get a Telehealth visit. You need professional help. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Wishing you healing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse travels pretty much every other week and I have three kids under 7 that have been sick for months so I totally get it.

I don't have great advice. Everyone is all "self-care" but that doesn't work so well the way my family is designed I get shit on 100% of the time and my husband gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants.

I mean most kids will spend an hour staring at a movie at any age. Order food for delivery and let the dishes pile up and hit the tub.

Wow, that's great for like 2 hours but what do I do with the remaining 96? And, no. My 1 year old will not sit for a movie, lol. How long had it been since you had children?

Well 1 year sleep a lot and can be left in a crib with a mobile.