Start to feel suicidal when I’m alone with kids for multiple days and not getting out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

I’m sorry. This is not situational suicidal thoughts; thats when like you are dying of cancer or a POW or something extreme. She is stuck watching her own kids, suicidal ideation in this situation is a mental health crisis.

It is a mental health crisis, for sure. But the crisis is caused by her situation. The situation she is going through *is* extreme. She isn't just stuck watching her kids. She is isolated, has no support, is ill, is suffering from exhaustion, still has to care for people who need constant care, and is likely sleep-deprived. For many people that is going to cause suicidal ideation. If she got enough support from others, those things would change and the mental health issue would be much alleviated.

Many people? No. Only people with serious mental health issues to start with. Or she had dependent personality disorder if she is this depends on support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One small suggestion—I have a playlist of only upbeat, energizing songs. It is almost miraculous how much it helps my outlook to put it on. Ice cream also helps buy that usually just makes me feel worse later — the music has no side effects!
It’s also okay if the toddler cries in his crib for a while. I had a baby that didn’t sleep and I remember once being sick and thinking if we both just died in that moment at least I would not have to get out of bed and get her again. If you need sleep, put in earplugs and sleep. It’s not ideal but you need to be functional.
Also agree with lettting go of any non essential shit like cleaning and cooking. It’s a great day for boxed Mac and cheese and frozen nuggets or whatever will make your life easier. Order a ubereats sweet green salad for yourself — healthy food will make you feel a little better.

Same about the music! I have a pandora playlist that I turn on when the kids are rough (4-7pm is so hard!). I can focus on the music instead of getting angry at their whining/screaming/fighting and am more pleasant. Sounds dumb but it helps both dh and I. Keeping calm is crucial

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

I’m sorry. This is not situational suicidal thoughts; thats when like you are dying of cancer or a POW or something extreme. She is stuck watching her own kids, suicidal ideation in this situation is a mental health crisis.

It is a mental health crisis, for sure. But the crisis is caused by her situation. The situation she is going through *is* extreme. She isn't just stuck watching her kids. She is isolated, has no support, is ill, is suffering from exhaustion, still has to care for people who need constant care, and is likely sleep-deprived. For many people that is going to cause suicidal ideation. If she got enough support from others, those things would change and the mental health issue would be much alleviated.

For how long though? Most people would be able to handle this for 4-5 days.

I am still baffled as to how you can still think this isn't a situational crisis and that her husband coming home and getting a babysitter wouldn't be the answer. Perhaps yes OP has a more sensitive nervous system than 50% of the population (although I don't think you can say that for sure; for one, just look at how many commenters have said that this is normal) but OP is in a terrible situation and the first step to fixing the issue is fixing the situation. If she feels terrible when her husband is gone, him coming back is part of the solution.

I know you think that you know a lot because you have suicidal family members but I promise you that there is more to it that what you're saying.

I’m the PP with suicidal family. I do know a lot. And no one is responsible for keeping someone else from being suicidal — her DH can’t put on his hero hat every time she cries wolf. Maybe this one time he comes home and helps her seek treatment, but the answer is not him changing his career especially since he is the breadwinner.

And I wasn’t the last PP, many people are agreeing with me it’s not situational suicidal — that’s bananas for “home with sick kids for a week”. We wouldn’t survive as a species if that was common.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry op! Call you husband and tell him to come home. Listen to audiobooks while kids are watching tv/iPads. Use paper plates and cups if you have them. Order chick FIL a delivery and pizza delivery. It will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

I’m sorry. This is not situational suicidal thoughts; thats when like you are dying of cancer or a POW or something extreme. She is stuck watching her own kids, suicidal ideation in this situation is a mental health crisis.

It is a mental health crisis, for sure. But the crisis is caused by her situation. The situation she is going through *is* extreme. She isn't just stuck watching her kids. She is isolated, has no support, is ill, is suffering from exhaustion, still has to care for people who need constant care, and is likely sleep-deprived. For many people that is going to cause suicidal ideation. If she got enough support from others, those things would change and the mental health issue would be much alleviated.

For how long though? Most people would be able to handle this for 4-5 days.

I am still baffled as to how you can still think this isn't a situational crisis and that her husband coming home and getting a babysitter wouldn't be the answer. Perhaps yes OP has a more sensitive nervous system than 50% of the population (although I don't think you can say that for sure; for one, just look at how many commenters have said that this is normal) but OP is in a terrible situation and the first step to fixing the issue is fixing the situation. If she feels terrible when her husband is gone, him coming back is part of the solution.

I know you think that you know a lot because you have suicidal family members but I promise you that there is more to it that what you're saying.

I’m the PP with suicidal family. I do know a lot. And no one is responsible for keeping someone else from being suicidal — her DH can’t put on his hero hat every time she cries wolf. Maybe this one time he comes home and helps her seek treatment, but the answer is not him changing his career especially since he is the breadwinner.

And I wasn’t the last PP, many people are agreeing with me it’s not situational suicidal — that’s bananas for “home with sick kids for a week”. We wouldn’t survive as a species if that was common.

Seriously how can you look at the title of the post and say this is not "situational suicidal?" I'm not saying that OP doesn't have mental health issues generally but the idea that she should just be able to take care of this on her own rather than with family and community is just inaccurate.

I'm sure you know some about mental illness, but the idea that OP's husband coming and taking care of his children while his wife recuperates means he is "putting on his hero hat" shows that there is a lot lacking in your understanding. I know we live in America and we love to think that we are emotional islands, but that is not how humans evolved. We evolved to be social beings and care for one another. There is a clear link between our increasing isolation and worsening mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it's not "being a mom". It's not a normal brain response to a hardship to consider suicide.

Yes, the situation needs to change, but more importantly her brain's chemical response to a hardship needs to change. Please see your medical doctor, and if possible a psychiatrist. You can still have virtual appointments, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your family.

You are obviously not a mom of young kids. Just stop. She said she’s not rationally considering it, she’s just feeling desperate and trapped and moms with young kids these days know exactly what she is talking about and can offer help. Stop trying to earn your internet merit badge here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

Put your kids in a mask if they are able to keep one on, and go to the store. Yeah I know people are going to say I am a terrible person but I promise there are tons of moms doing that right now in this area bc they too are struggling like you are. The change of pace will help you and the kids. You don't have to buy anything or need anything. Just go to Target, Walmart, grocery store and wander the aisles. Go to the McDs drive through and get you and the kids something.

You can get meds from your primary care doctor. If you want therapy you can find a therapist through your insurance. But the doctor isn't going to require you to do that to get the meds. They give out prescriptions all the time. It's routine.

Reaching out and asking for help doesn't make you weak or someone who can't handle your own life. Reach out to someone and say hey I am really struggling with the kids, any chance you can come over for an hour and help entertain them.

[Anonymous]

It’s probably not feasible for your husband to come home right now, but if he can, that’s awesome. If you have anyone in the area please call them and say you’re drowning, ask them to sit with kids so you can shower alone. If that’s not possible, knock on neighbors door or text a friend. Connect in some way with an adult brain. Even if you don’t feel like you can see anyone because you guys are sick talking to someone and saying things are hard can be helpful. I hope the tone of this isn’t bossy. It seems like that’s how these threads go.


I’ve been there and it’s hard. Getting through five minute increments is a good first goal.

I use walgreens delivery sometimes when stuck in house with sickness or hauling kids to car seems too monumental to get snacks and fizzy drinks and medicines. They have toys and all sorts of things and delivery is free over $25

[Anonymous]

Add agree with above poster, when you feel well enough if you have easy transportation, walking through stores can help. And when the weather is not crappy, bundle, everyone up, even just to walk around the block. Libraries are also good safe free places to go and no one bats an eye at the stroller

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s probably not feasible for your husband to come home right now, but if he can, that’s awesome. If you have anyone in the area please call them and say you’re drowning, ask them to sit with kids so you can shower alone. If that’s not possible, knock on neighbors door or text a friend. Connect in some way with an adult brain. Even if you don’t feel like you can see anyone because you guys are sick talking to someone and saying things are hard can be helpful. I hope the tone of this isn’t bossy. It seems like that’s how these threads go.


I’ve been there and it’s hard. Getting through five minute increments is a good first goal.

I use walgreens delivery sometimes when stuck in house with sickness or hauling kids to car seems too monumental to get snacks and fizzy drinks and medicines. They have toys and all sorts of things and delivery is free over $25

It probably seems that way, but that's not true. Unless he is stuck in a foreign country with a passport issue, he can come home. It might mean his boss looks at him askance and it might put a ding in their budget, but let me tell you what: going to the psych ward would be more of an inconvenience and probably more expensive. This I know from experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not "being a mom". It's not a normal brain response to a hardship to consider suicide.

Yes, the situation needs to change, but more importantly her brain's chemical response to a hardship needs to change. Please see your medical doctor, and if possible a psychiatrist. You can still have virtual appointments, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your family.

You are obviously not a mom of young kids. Just stop. She said she’s not rationally considering it, she’s just feeling desperate and trapped and moms with young kids these days know exactly what she is talking about and can offer help. Stop trying to earn your internet merit badge here.

This is not a helpful response. Yes I am a parent to young kids. I'm a military spouse and have been 100% isolated. Suicidal thoughts are not rational responses, and need to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not "being a mom". It's not a normal brain response to a hardship to consider suicide.

Yes, the situation needs to change, but more importantly her brain's chemical response to a hardship needs to change. Please see your medical doctor, and if possible a psychiatrist. You can still have virtual appointments, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your family.

You are obviously not a mom of young kids. Just stop. She said she’s not rationally considering it, she’s just feeling desperate and trapped and moms with young kids these days know exactly what she is talking about and can offer help. Stop trying to earn your internet merit badge here.

This is not a helpful response. Yes I am a parent to young kids. I'm a military spouse and have been 100% isolated. Suicidal thoughts are not rational responses, and need to be addressed.

Nobody is disagreeing with this. We are saying that the first thing to address is the situation that is 100% not healthy.

Just because you didn't react the way OP reacted doesn't mean your response is normal or healthy either, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

I’m sorry. This is not situational suicidal thoughts; thats when like you are dying of cancer or a POW or something extreme. She is stuck watching her own kids, suicidal ideation in this situation is a mental health crisis.

It is a mental health crisis, for sure. But the crisis is caused by her situation. The situation she is going through *is* extreme. She isn't just stuck watching her kids. She is isolated, has no support, is ill, is suffering from exhaustion, still has to care for people who need constant care, and is likely sleep-deprived. For many people that is going to cause suicidal ideation. If she got enough support from others, those things would change and the mental health issue would be much alleviated.

For how long though? Most people would be able to handle this for 4-5 days.

I am still baffled as to how you can still think this isn't a situational crisis and that her husband coming home and getting a babysitter wouldn't be the answer. Perhaps yes OP has a more sensitive nervous system than 50% of the population (although I don't think you can say that for sure; for one, just look at how many commenters have said that this is normal) but OP is in a terrible situation and the first step to fixing the issue is fixing the situation. If she feels terrible when her husband is gone, him coming back is part of the solution.

I know you think that you know a lot because you have suicidal family members but I promise you that there is more to it that what you're saying.

I’m the PP with suicidal family. I do know a lot. And no one is responsible for keeping someone else from being suicidal — her DH can’t put on his hero hat every time she cries wolf. Maybe this one time he comes home and helps her seek treatment, but the answer is not him changing his career especially since he is the breadwinner.

And I wasn’t the last PP, many people are agreeing with me it’s not situational suicidal — that’s bananas for “home with sick kids for a week”. We wouldn’t survive as a species if that was common.

Wow. This may be one of the most callous and mean things I have ever seen someone put in writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not "being a mom". It's not a normal brain response to a hardship to consider suicide.

Yes, the situation needs to change, but more importantly her brain's chemical response to a hardship needs to change. Please see your medical doctor, and if possible a psychiatrist. You can still have virtual appointments, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of your family.

You are obviously not a mom of young kids. Just stop. She said she’s not rationally considering it, she’s just feeling desperate and trapped and moms with young kids these days know exactly what she is talking about and can offer help. Stop trying to earn your internet merit badge here.

Stop normalizing suicidal ideation. That is not normal. Most moms. Don’t consider suicide, I mean can you even imagine leaving your kids motherless because you feel “trapped”. Guess what. Being a parent IS a lifetime trap OP signed up for, apparently multiple times.

Sure I can support her DH coming out to allow her to go get professional medical care, but she can’t cry “I wanna die” and expect people to come running every time. Ultimately she is the only one who can help herself it is her decision alone whether to commit suicide. It is not her DH responsibility, not her parents, not the community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been alone with kids for multiple days stuck inside due to covid and stomach bug and I start to feel suicidal and desperate. I can’t leave and it’s the long exhausting days and not feeling well. I can’t get help and dh is away on a business trip. What do you do in a situation like this? Rationally I won’t but I keep considering it to get out of the situation of feeling trapped and desperate and unsupported.

You need a therapist and likely medication. I have suicidal family members, so your DH coming home or a baby sitter is not the answer. You need professional help today. Call the hotline and go to a therapist with kids in tow if you have too.

If you aren’t actually suicidal and being dramatic, I will judge you.

False. This is situational and so the solution is to fix the situation. If he DH is home and she can have a break from the kids and somebody to talk to, that will fix it. OP isn’t getting her fundamental needs met and that is going to be very, very painful and it’s going to feel like death is the only way out. I have been in this exact situation. I’m not opposed to meds but the idea that our mental health is totally independent from our environment is wrong and exacerbates mental health problems.

Also that’s really terrible of you to suggest that OP might just be being dramatic. You don’t say that to somebody.

I’m sorry. This is not situational suicidal thoughts; thats when like you are dying of cancer or a POW or something extreme. She is stuck watching her own kids, suicidal ideation in this situation is a mental health crisis.

It is a mental health crisis, for sure. But the crisis is caused by her situation. The situation she is going through *is* extreme. She isn't just stuck watching her kids. She is isolated, has no support, is ill, is suffering from exhaustion, still has to care for people who need constant care, and is likely sleep-deprived. For many people that is going to cause suicidal ideation. If she got enough support from others, those things would change and the mental health issue would be much alleviated.

For how long though? Most people would be able to handle this for 4-5 days.

I am still baffled as to how you can still think this isn't a situational crisis and that her husband coming home and getting a babysitter wouldn't be the answer. Perhaps yes OP has a more sensitive nervous system than 50% of the population (although I don't think you can say that for sure; for one, just look at how many commenters have said that this is normal) but OP is in a terrible situation and the first step to fixing the issue is fixing the situation. If she feels terrible when her husband is gone, him coming back is part of the solution.

I know you think that you know a lot because you have suicidal family members but I promise you that there is more to it that what you're saying.

I’m the PP with suicidal family. I do know a lot. And no one is responsible for keeping someone else from being suicidal — her DH can’t put on his hero hat every time she cries wolf. Maybe this one time he comes home and helps her seek treatment, but the answer is not him changing his career especially since he is the breadwinner.

And I wasn’t the last PP, many people are agreeing with me it’s not situational suicidal — that’s bananas for “home with sick kids for a week”. We wouldn’t survive as a species if that was common.

Wow. This may be one of the most callous and mean things I have ever seen someone put in writing.

Well you probably haven’t had to deal with many suicidal people. Boundaries are crucial and I won’t support PPs trying encourage OP to enmesh her DH in her illness. Yes, he has a role as her DH to help her, but blanket statement about he should not travel for work or “do more” ring hollow without discussion with a therapist and OP recognizing her illness. Say he quits his job, takes a job with less trouble but now they are tight on money, and have to move to an apartment — suddenly the loss of her “American dream” could make her suicidal.