Do you harshly judge mothers with a lot of outside help?

[Anonymous]

I don’t judge but hard to relate on most things in my life. As an example, kids are going to specialty overnight camp and I offhandedly mentioned the amount of time it takes me to shop/organize/pack for them. She didn’t have a clue about anything. Her nanny does it all. She just drives them to camp and picks them up. She had no response at all to my comment.

[Anonymous]

Well, if you announced to the world that you were quitting your job to be a SAHM because you couldn't bear to be parted from your baby ... And then send your 2 year old to full time daycare and "school" or hire a nanny when kid #2 comes along... Yes, I judge a little bit.
- Signed, WOH mom

[Anonymous]

I envy them. I want and need help. I want to go back to work but im staying home because we cant afford expensive child care. I hate it here…

[Anonymous]

No OP, as long as they aren't snobs about the advantages they have. I use to be cutting my grass and a neighbor, who had everything done for her, would say, "oh, you really ought to come with me to palates class! The exercise is really fun!"

Same w/women who have cleaning help who say something that's critical of the cleaning standards of someone who doesn't.

[Anonymous]

I've worked with hundreds of families usually in their homes, from homeless to incredibly wealthy. I can say I've never judged someone for their home, the amount of help they have, how clean or dirty their house is (except once it was really really really disgusting like cat piss and poop on the floor I was expected to sit on disgusting) or their job.

I have judged people at times for just being crappy parents but that was not dependent on money. Crappy parents come in all financial situations. I actually find I'm more likely to be judgmental of someone that has a ton of money and doesn't use it to provide better accommodations for their child as opposed to say a single mom that's doing everything she can despite limited outside help and finances.

[Anonymous]

yes, because as a single parent, when i hear them complain about how “hard or tired” they are it’s annoying.

you have full time help and a spouse, please stop complaining and be thankful for what you have.

so, i don’t envy them, i’m happy they don’t have the same problems that i have.

however, i do judge their survival instincts because they complain about stuff i deal with daily and alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the hell would others know how much education my nanny has? That's SO none of their business.

It’s obvious.

[Anonymous]

What?? No! I’m jealous! I need help as a working mom. We have everything we need and a lot to be grateful for, but quality of life would improve a LOT with more help. Glad for those who can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the hell would others know how much education my nanny has? That's SO none of their business.

Some moms hit up the nannies to try to poach them. Some moms with free family help also try to hit up the nannies to try to poach them - which is especially sad. You wore your own mother out with free help? Find your own!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't judge those with help, but I do get annoyed when mothers with lots of outside help give advice, recommendations, or pass judgment on those of us who don't.

Just because they have help doesn't mean they haven't been in your situation before and wouldn't have helpful advice to give. I find people that have lots of help recognize their strengths and weaknesses or additional needs of their children and are best equipped to pass on advice to others. They have also been exposed to different strategies that work and don't work by having various professionals in the home regularly. They are some great people to get advice from. Try not to be so quick to judge, I find their intentions are usually genuine. I used to think those people were judging me too but realized they just have different experiences that I might learn from.

[Anonymous]

If you’re a mother with a lot of outside help, you aren’t allowed to complain. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re a mother with a lot of outside help, you aren’t allowed to complain. Ever.

If you live in the US and not in a hut without running water or healthcare for your kids, you aren't allowed to complain, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re a mother with a lot of outside help, you aren’t allowed to complain. Ever.

If you live in the US and not in a hut without running water or healthcare for your kids, you aren't allowed to complain, ever.

If you like in a hut without running water but have both your arms and legs, you aren’t allowed to complain. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re a mother with a lot of outside help, you aren’t allowed to complain. Ever.

What if you or your spouse or your kid have cancer...are you allowed to complain then?

[Anonymous]

I judge them if the kids prefer the nanny over them. I knew a couple whose kids preferred their nanny over the father when they were little.