Anyone had success with an open marriage?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know how you can do it without completely f**king up your kids.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know anyone who’s done it, but in your case OP I think it’s a reasonable idea to propose / talk about.

[Anonymous]

If I offered this to my DH i know he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't hook up with someone for sex. He would need to be in a relationship or on a path to a longer term relationship (not a FWB relationship) before he would consider being intimate with someone.

Don't assume all men would jump at this chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I offered this to my DH i know he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't hook up with someone for sex. He would need to be in a relationship or on a path to a longer term relationship (not a FWB relationship) before he would consider being intimate with someone.

Don't assume all men would jump at this chance.

Don’t assume he can’t change. You eould be surprised at what men are capable of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I offered this to my DH i know he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't hook up with someone for sex. He would need to be in a relationship or on a path to a longer term relationship (not a FWB relationship) before he would consider being intimate with someone.

Don't assume all men would jump at this chance.

Don’t assume he can’t change. You eould be surprised at what men are capable of?

I understand that and know everyone is different. I also know that my DH will not just "settle" for the physical act of sex. He needs an understanding, communication, intensity level, trust level that builds and is nurtured over time.

[Anonymous]

Check out the book A Happy Life in an Open Relationship by Susan Wenzel.

I also think you should explore with a therapist why you are no longer attracted to men (and your husband specifically), if you once were. Have you tried repairing your marriage at all, or do you think opening it will be an easier fix? Because it won't be easy, so don't go that route expecting sunshine and roses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I offered this to my DH i know he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't hook up with someone for sex. He would need to be in a relationship or on a path to a longer term relationship (not a FWB relationship) before he would consider being intimate with someone.

Don't assume all men would jump at this chance.

I believe you.

But also, if you allow a man to have an open relationship, there is always going to be somewhat of a relationship included in the sex. Even for someone like me that can have mostly "just physical" sex, the woman I am seeing will want there to be a relationship aspect as well. As long as OP is willing to allow that, it can work.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your husband. Talk to a therapist. Figure this out with professional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I offered this to my DH i know he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't hook up with someone for sex. He would need to be in a relationship or on a path to a longer term relationship (not a FWB relationship) before he would consider being intimate with someone.

Don't assume all men would jump at this chance.

OP didn’t ask if your husband would like to be in an open relationship, though. She asked if anyone here has had success with an open marriage.

[Anonymous]

It would be better for him to divorce you as his prospective partners are going to be very wary and skeptical of his claims that his marriage is open. Better to be divorced if he hopes to get his genitals wet again some day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I offered this to my DH i know he wouldn't take it. He wouldn't hook up with someone for sex. He would need to be in a relationship or on a path to a longer term relationship (not a FWB relationship) before he would consider being intimate with someone.

Don't assume all men would jump at this chance.

Don’t assume he can’t change. You eould be surprised at what men are capable of?

I understand that and know everyone is different. I also know that my DH will not just "settle" for the physical act of sex. He needs an understanding, communication, intensity level, trust level that builds and is nurtured over time.

Why can’t he have that in an open relationship? Is that part verboten? OP just doesn’t want the hassle and cost and inconvenience of separating from him — she clearly doesn’t care if he gets entwined with someone else.

[Anonymous]

The failure rate of open marriages is very high, some stats say 90%. The failure rate of your celibate marriage is 100%.

I think its worth a shot. Even if it helps you stay together for the kids until they are gone from the house. Then you can re-evaluate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The failure rate of open marriages is very high, some stats say 90%. The failure rate of your celibate marriage is 100%.

I think its worth a shot. Even if it helps you stay together for the kids until they are gone from the house. Then you can re-evaluate.

So totally not true.

That said, I also think it is worth a shot being honest and open with your husband and giving him the option to have a discreet paramour. Seriously, staying married to somebody you like, trust, respect is worth it as you age, have grandkids, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know how you can do it without completely f**king up your kids.

Why would they know? If they did, so what?

[Anonymous]

How old are you guys? If close to your 50s with a low drive husband who has other priorities maybe just leave it and let nature take its course.