Perception of stay-at-home dads

[Anonymous]

I’m a sahm of 3 kids. I know a lot of SAHMs.

We know one dad whose kids are older now and he still stays home. He cooks and works out. Dh and other guys seem to think he is lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a sahm of 3 kids. I know a lot of SAHMs.

We know one dad whose kids are older now and he still stays home. He cooks and works out. Dh and other guys seem to think he is lazy.

+1

[Anonymous]

I personally think men should go to work. But Im old school. I never will understand how a woman is supporting a man. Does she still support him after kids are older? I would Never!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. There is still a stigma.

Why is that?

IMO the stigma is there because the few SAHD's I have known, while technically keeping the kids alive, do nothing else. They do not cook, clean, or grocery shop. The house is always a mess and their wife has to come home to filth and no dinner. Some SAHM's do this too but not as many. And yes I judge them too.

if a man SAH and also takes care of the household, I have no issue with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think men should go to work. But Im old school. I never will understand how a woman is supporting a man. Does she still support him after kids are older? I would Never!

Yeah, you are very old school and your thinking is outdated at best and sexist at worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So what are the chances a friend of mine who is a stay at home dad will be able to make social connections in the DMV? His wife works a solid gov job bringing in around $130k while he stays home and handles the homefront duties.

He also takes and picks up his two boys from school and is a good partner to his wife, who often travels.

His boys also have some special needs, which require extra attention but nothing major.

Are his boys better off seeing their dad in a job?

Why does no one ask if kids are better off seeing their mom in a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think men should go to work. But Im old school. I never will understand how a woman is supporting a man. Does she still support him after kids are older? I would Never!

Why is it ok for a man to support a woman and not vice versa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay at home Dads seem lonely on the playground while the moms talk.

My husband is not a SAHD but he is just as involved in our kids' lives as I am, and he said he always gets weird looks when he takes the kids (we have all girls) to the pool or the playground or the library. And he's not remotely creepy looking!

[Anonymous]

There is a stigma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think men should go to work. But Im old school. I never will understand how a woman is supporting a man. Does she still support him after kids are older? I would Never!

Would you let a man support you?

[Anonymous]

My best friend's husband is having a really hard time with the stigma and lack of social support as a SAHD. Also, his parents don't understand and seem to be obviously disappointed and ashamed that their son stays at home.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are judging him. Sounds like an appropriate reason to for him to stay home. If he went back to work, it many not be financially worth it if they'd have to hire help.

[Anonymous]

It’s not really easy for anybody to make connections imo. I’m a stay at home mom and it took a while.

And lots of people think very poorly of SAHMs. Lots of people think poorly of working moms. We all manage to find connections.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge stigma even for taking paternity leave. Should there be… of course not, but it’s there. My husband completely derailed his career at his old job by… gasp, actually taking the time his company offered. Even though the firm touts itself as family oriented, he had to leave the company and go elsewhere to get his path back on track. He is still not sorry he did it, the bonding time was priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge stigma even for taking paternity leave. Should there be… of course not, but it’s there. My husband completely derailed his career at his old job by… gasp, actually taking the time his company offered. Even though the firm touts itself as family oriented, he had to leave the company and go elsewhere to get his path back on track. He is still not sorry he did it, the bonding time was priceless.

This is so true. My husband took one week of paternity leave and was denied a promotion when he came back and was told he let his team down during a critical time.