Is it weird to ask to wear protection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

I fell for this a few times. Yes it’s nicer without a condom for men and women but both are sleeping around like crazy!
I was stupid and lucky to not get an STD. I am sworn off men for life now!

Hey give me a chance! I'll bring a 36 pack with me.

[Anonymous]

There are plentiful amount of threads on here from moms in their 40’s. What the hell happens to women during this age that they are unbalanced and immature. Worse than teenagers. And they boast about being parents. Baffling!

[Anonymous]

My last girlfriend was staunchly pro-life, and that definitely convinced me.

[Anonymous]

When I started dating again, mostly women in their 40s, I was surprised that only maybe 15% wanted to use condoms, once they knew I had a vasectomy. I hate them but I always came prepared. IN the years to follow, I've learned that women hate them even more than I do.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never tried them, but theoretically men wouldn’t mind if you used a female condom. (coefficient of friction)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely use protection! You're not an outlier.

I remember asking a guy to use protection (we weren't serious but had been hooking up on occasion) years before marriage. He used to secretly take the condom off midway through. I was horrified. When I called him out on it, he told me it was no big deal bc I gave blood regularly so he knew that I was "safe". Guys can be gross and manipulative. I got a STD test shortly thereafter which was thankfully negative.

Stay safe, OP.

NP. I'm so sorry that happened to you -- sounds like more than once, too.

This is called "stealthing" and today the attitude toward it is increasingly that it's not only not OK, it's actually criminal. Which it should be.

California made it a civil offense last year. Hoping it becomes a criminal one everywhere someday because it's a profound, grave violation of trust, with potential life-long consequences for the woman like pregnancy or disease (and I don't care if the man picks up something -- he's the one who took off the damn condom.) It has been compared to a kind of rape, because once the condom is removed, the woman is, even if she doesn't yet realize it, participating in a sex act to which she did not consent. The men who do this are beyond lowlifes.

https://www.npr.org/2021/10/07/1040160313/california-stealthing-nonconsensual-condom-removal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many different men are you sleeping with? Your poor children.

Stop. Children have nothing to do with this.

I am a different poster but I had a near completely sexless marriage for many many years and now that I’m divorced I will sleep with whomever I want. (I also will never marry again so if I’m sleeping with somebody or somebody else a few months after that because the first person didn’t work out, it has absolutely no affect on my kids…they will never meet anyone…my sex life is a complete mile private part of my life (and I use condoms and get tested)…save your sanctimonious attitude that is irrelevant to parenting.

Wow, you get really defensive about being a slut in your older age. You are right is irrelevant to parenting. You are not parenting quite a bit it sounds like.

You know, slut-shaming is out of fashion. Do you also talk about fags and retards? How old *are* you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I started dating again, mostly women in their 40s, I was surprised that only maybe 15% wanted to use condoms, once they knew I had a vasectomy. I hate them but I always came prepared. IN the years to follow, I've learned that women hate them even more than I do.

You're using the wrong condoms, then. I don't get all the condom hate because my DH and I use them and we don't need them for BC or STD prevention. All the condom haters should experiment with more adventurous condoms because they, especially the women, are missing out. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many different men are you sleeping with? Your poor children.

Stop. Children have nothing to do with this.

I am a different poster but I had a near completely sexless marriage for many many years and now that I’m divorced I will sleep with whomever I want. (I also will never marry again so if I’m sleeping with somebody or somebody else a few months after that because the first person didn’t work out, it has absolutely no affect on my kids…they will never meet anyone…my sex life is a complete mile private part of my life (and I use condoms and get tested)…save your sanctimonious attitude that is irrelevant to parenting.

Wow, you get really defensive about being a slut in your older age. You are right is irrelevant to parenting. You are not parenting quite a bit it sounds like.

You know, slut-shaming is out of fashion. Do you also talk about fags and retards? How old *are* you?

Out of fashion!!!!!!! Hahahhahahhaahaahahhahahhaaahhhahha!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Man here, I insist on condoms and found it's often the women who don't want me to use them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I started dating again, mostly women in their 40s, I was surprised that only maybe 15% wanted to use condoms, once they knew I had a vasectomy. I hate them but I always came prepared. IN the years to follow, I've learned that women hate them even more than I do.

This!!!

I always bring and use condoms, but soooooo many women in their late 30s and older have no qualms with going bareback with a guy they recently met. It was sort of shocking for me, as I’m pretty conscious about my sexual heath and have never pressured anyone to forego condoms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many different men are you sleeping with? Your poor children.

OP here. Zero! But I’ve dipped my toes back into the dating pool and this was always something that bothered me. And my dating life has nothing to do with my kids (not that I have to explain myself). I can have a healthy adult life and have healthy kids. You need to chillax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are plentiful amount of threads on here from moms in their 40’s. What the hell happens to women during this age that they are unbalanced and immature. Worse than teenagers. And they boast about being parents. Baffling!

I got married really young. I didn’t start “dating” until I was 37. Now you don’t need to be baffled! Everyone has their own journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I started dating again, mostly women in their 40s, I was surprised that only maybe 15% wanted to use condoms, once they knew I had a vasectomy. I hate them but I always came prepared. IN the years to follow, I've learned that women hate them even more than I do.

This!!!

I always bring and use condoms, but soooooo many women in their late 30s and older have no qualms with going bareback with a guy they recently met. It was sort of shocking for me, as I’m pretty conscious about my sexual heath and have never pressured anyone to forego condoms

Not only did they take you for your word that you didn’t have any STIs, they also were willing to believe you had a vasectomy. Christ- these women are out of their frickin” minds.

Middle aged women are less safe then teens about their health/STIs.

[Anonymous]

what’s with all the hate at single moms?