Is it weird to ask to wear protection?

[Anonymous]

Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

Use protection! They are saying that to all the women and I would not sleep with him otherwise
Men are very manipulative on online dating
That’s BS that he’s turning it back in you.

[Anonymous]

As they age, men have a harder time performing with condoms. Solution: go for younger guys. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

What? Not my experience at all. They bring their own, or are happy to use one if I ask. Who are these douche bags you’re dating?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

Use protection! They are saying that to all the women and I would not sleep with him otherwise
Men are very manipulative on online dating
That’s BS that he’s turning it back in you.

+1

Too many women will bang a guy they just met off the internet unprotected, some of them are even married. Sigh.

So you need to protect yourself. Some of the older age groups have the most STIs, sometimes because they can’t get pregnant anymore- they don’t care about the risk of stis.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, op! This is a lesson you should have learned in 1995 at the latest. OF COURSE it’s normal. How old are your kids? Get your house in order mentally before they are teenagers.

[Anonymous]

I’m concerned that you are even questioning yourself! Of course you are not crazy; these guys are jerks!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

No. If you don't want to use a condom, then you're not sleeping with me. Hit the road, jack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? Not my experience at all. They bring their own, or are happy to use one if I ask. Who are these douche bags you’re dating?!

This! Absolutely you should be using condoms. And if the guy complains, I would seriously worry about where he had been.Before I have sex with a guy, I have them get tested for STDs, we have a discussion about exclusivity, and then I still use condoms. Granted, I need them for birth control, but I would use them anyway.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely use protection! You're not an outlier.

I remember asking a guy to use protection (we weren't serious but had been hooking up on occasion) years before marriage. He used to secretly take the condom off midway through. I was horrified. When I called him out on it, he told me it was no big deal bc I gave blood regularly so he knew that I was "safe". Guys can be gross and manipulative. I got a STD test shortly thereafter which was thankfully negative.

Stay safe, OP.

[Anonymous]

Resisting condom use is a full stop end of the line. Even if he agrees, how do you know he won’t try a stealth bareback at your expense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

What’s weird is getting STDs and unplanned complicated pregnancy, specially for a 45 year old single mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Resisting condom use is a full stop end of the line. Even if he agrees, how do you know he won’t try a stealth bareback at your expense?

+1
Dump immediately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?

I fell for this a few times. Yes it’s nicer without a condom for men and women but both are sleeping around like crazy!
I was stupid and lucky to not get an STD. I am sworn off men for life now!

[Anonymous]

How is this even a question? Anything regarding sex and your boundaries and discussing them is never weird.