Ever regret having the third child
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Don't do it. Reclaim your life and enjoy your two. The third makes everything much harder... |
Anonymous
|
My third is 8 months old. Have I ever regretted having a third?
No...not for one second. She was VERY difficult for the first 4 months or so, but is really just the greatest. Are times a little more chaotic? Sometimes, but I actually feel like she (our youngest) has brought more balance to the family (maybe because she is our only girl!). But seriously, I totally love having a third. I think it is VERY rare for people to regret having a child, no matter what number... |
Anonymous
|
Expecting #3 any day now...
Very anxious to say the least. The other two children just turned 2 and 4 years old in Feb. so I feel like our lives are pretty busy ("controlled chaos"  ), but I know #3 will fit right in and complete us.
I'm a SAH and part of my "job" is the budget so I"ve always been resourceful with finding the free activities, knowing where the good playgrounds are, keeping the kids from the tv (unless desperate), where kids can eat free, coupon clipper, etc. So, money-wise, I'm not too worried (we live within in our means anyway). THere have been a TON of changes though - the 2 and 4 year old now share a room (our townhouse is only 3 bedrooms), but we are in the market for SFH. So, we may/not be moving to a larger place. It would be nice, but it's not a necessity. Plus, we just purchased a minivan - there was no way I could do 3 carseats in the back of a sedan (Camry). My back would kill me for one thing. So, yes, a ton of changes, but the kids are going with the flow, we're still having fun, and are excited about our newest addition. OP - what are the ages of your children? That makes a big difference on how you feel about #3. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Current ages: 5 and 2. Likely ages if had a third 6 1/2 and 3 1/2. mostly worried about resetting the clock. we were tired and grumpy for a good portion of each kid's first year or so. |
Anonymous
|
I've never regretted having a third but my husband has. Our lives have become significantly more chaotic with a third and we both lost most of our last remaining free time. I'm okay with that because I always wanted three kids and I LOVE young children. My husband was perfectly fulfilled with two kids and so he's more aware that the chaos that now rules our lives was completely optional and while he makes the most of things and is a great dad he wishes we had stopped at two. Life would have been much, much easier!
|
Anonymous
| I don't regret having a third but now that my oldest is a teenager, I realize that I am going to go through this terrible time with all 3 and that is a very depressing thought. I get really tired just thinking about it. |
Anonymous
I know this is exactly how my husband would be---so I am stopping at 2. |
Anonymous
This is pretty much what our situation would be like, but reversed. DH is the one wanting more, and I'm the one that is resisting, afraid that I might be a less patient, more resentful mom to all three kids if we added another one. I have worked hard and dug deep to find reserves of patience and wisdom, and I feel like I have finally found a precarious balance that would be upset all over again with another baby. Add to the fact that I am the primary caregiver, working P/T b/c DH has crazy hours and a lot of travel, I feel like it's easy for him to want another one, he's rarely around anyway. But alas, I am only speculating, because so far we agreed to wait and see - mostly to wait and see if I would change my mind. I also worry about my age (38) and the possibility of complications (already had 2 c-sections and a difficult second pregnancy). So that's our (my) dilemma. |
Anonymous
| I don't regret the third. I'm beginning to regret not having a fourth. I wonder if it's really too late. |
Anonymous
Resurrecting an old thread because we are having this debate. And because until I got to the end of PPs post where she specified age and C-sections I honestly wondered if I'd written it and forgotten. So if you see this PP - would really love an update on your decision. |
Anonymous
| I love the honesty some of you have shared -- as a WOH mom of a 2.5 year old and 6 mo old, I look forward to a hopeful point when THIS (two kids) will feel like controlled chaos instead of just CHAOS!! Always thought we'd have a 3rd but with 2, I'm not so sure anymore. I know my husband already feels like he has no free time and I feel that way most days too. Maybe when we are out of the weeds a third will seem doable but right now I have a feeling we'll vacillate for awhile. Age is a factor for us too though. Would love to hear from more folks. |
Anonymous
| We have a teen and a 5 year old. So we're in a very good place now. Both kids in school, home lives completely manageable, money to travel. But I'm nearing 40 so if there's a third, it really has to be now. Husband is not a fan of idea--he's been looking forward to "retirement" from the tough, sleep-deprived years. So I've tried to be content with what I have and see things his way. And yet, like a lot of other posters considering this step all over the web, I just feel someone is missing. Honestly, I'm petrified of anything going wrong with the third which is much more likely due to age. But I'm also scared of badly regretting a decision not to try. I don't think there's a wrong or right decision. Repercussions of bringing ANOTHER PERSON into the world might not be felt for 20, 30 years. You're not responsible for your kids for only 18 or 22 years. You often have to support them through grad school, if they lose their jobs, if their health fails or they have an addiction, pay for weddings, and more! You have responsibilities as a grandparent too, don't forget. It's a highly serious decision affecting the rest of your life, so you should think about that rather than just getting through the chaotic baby years. |
Anonymous
| I'm in a similar position as the previous poster. I have two and feel like someone is missing. I can not have a 3rd due to infertility. We spent everything we had emotionally and financially to have #2. I almost feel guilty for wanting more If I were in your position, I'd go for it and see what happens. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Wondering if some of you have considering adopting an older child? That's what we are thinking for our third and I'd love to hear thoughts. |
Anonymous
| Our youngest (our fourth) is such a dote, we are so glad we took the plunge. Sure, the first few months were trying at times but we splurged, got a sleep trainer and reclaimed our lives at about five months. Our eldest was just 6 when our youngest came along and we had 2.5 yr old twins also. Our eldest is so in love with the youngest, it is amazing to watch. Myself and my dh have a very special place for him also. |