DS forwarded his friend’s obnoxious email to principal and…

[Anonymous]

OP here: I just spoke to the principal and luckily they haven’t done anything and we agreed we would just handle it at home!
The principal seemed relieved! And so am i, for sure!
Thank you everyone and special thanks to the elementary school teacher PP! Thank you!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does ADHD have to do with this?

Just to show that it’s more impulsivity than anything else! Sorry if I offended anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Wtf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I just spoke to the principal and luckily they haven’t done anything and we agreed we would just handle it at home!
The principal seemed relieved! And so am i, for sure!
Thank you everyone and special thanks to the elementary school teacher PP! Thank you!!!

That’s great. I think you can now, as you calm down, identify the key lessons here. 1. Friends aren’t perfect and you should ignore when you can, tell them they’ve upset you next, get adult help if number 2 doesn’t work. This is a learning opportunity, it is OK. Your kid will likely do more stupid stuff as a teen. This is how they learn (you just do everything you can to keep them from getting hurt or hurting others while they learn). Anything stupid, that doesn’t have life long repercussions is a teaching moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

No. Unless this communication occurred over school equipment, you have no business getting involved. It's for the boy's parents to monitor and dictate his use of social media, and to render discipline if they see fit, not you. I'd have a different opinion if this was down sort of ongoing bullying that was occurring at school and bleeding into home, but that is clearly not the case here. Let me repeat: this is not your place.

[Anonymous]

OP here: it was at lunchtime over school email, just to clarify.
I don’t care, I just felt bad for the other mom because my son isn’t perfect either and it’s a just a coincidence that he wasn’t on the other end of this!

[Anonymous]

“OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing. “

You are absolutely nuts Principal poster. Sure if there is repeated harassment or if trying to address it directly results in no change in behavior then yes. But sounds like this was two dumb kids who are friends playing and one got over the top with foul language as part of that. This is a “wash your mouth out with soap” problem not a “principal needs to fix this” problem. Glad OP was able to intervene and cut it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Even though OP's son has said the same thing? Most likely the other child has heard that comment from OP's son in the past and was responding in kind.

[Anonymous]

Glad it worked out, OP! As the parent of a boy with adhd who I could easily see having made such a mistake in middle school, I appreciate your approach and empathy. I suspect your son exhibited some impulsivity, too, by forwarding the email straight to the principal ratjer than talking to his friend or you first. I realize these are not comparable actions- the friend’s actions were inappropriate and your son’s objectively laudable, except that as you acknowledge it probably wasn’t necessary to jump to such an extreme (I say this as mother to teen sons who like to good naturedly “trash talk” with friends - if the comment to your son instead was threatening or bullying of course I’d feel differently). It is really hard for some kids, like mine with adhd, to see nauances on both sides here so again I do appreciate your empathetic reaction.

[Anonymous]

Something similar happened to me. My kid was the one sending the inappropriate text to a friend and friend told on him at school. One of the admin had a talk with them and followed up the next week to see how they were doing. Kids still friends. Lessons learned for all parties involved. They're 11. They'll make plenty more mistakes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Wtf?

For real. I’m really confused what the principal has to do with any of this. This wasn’t at school. It didn’t involve a school assignment. It was at over a computer game at home...

If some kid in your child’s school calls your kid an as*hole while in line at Dairy Queen, would you contact the school principal?

OP, nothing to be done now. Your son did what he did, now let him face whatever the principal decides to do, which is likely going to be very little. Do not intervene. Contacting the principal is super weird, but what happened is really NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Wtf?

For real. I’m really confused what the principal has to do with any of this. This wasn’t at school. It didn’t involve a school assignment. It was at over a computer game at home...

If some kid in your child’s school calls your kid an as*hole while in line at Dairy Queen, would you contact the school principal?

OP, nothing to be done now. Your son did what he did, now let him face whatever the principal decides to do, which is likely going to be very little. Do not intervene. Contacting the principal is super weird, but what happened is really NBD.

Opps, correction. I now see it was during school at lunch on school email. Then yes, OPs son did the right thing. But..where they playing computer games at school during class? That would be my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I just spoke to the principal and luckily they haven’t done anything and we agreed we would just handle it at home!
The principal seemed relieved! And so am i, for sure!
Thank you everyone and special thanks to the elementary school teacher PP! Thank you!!!

You should have let both the kids face the consequences for their choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

Even though OP's son has said the same thing? Most likely the other child has heard that comment from OP's son in the past and was responding in kind.

This. I had a mom contact me saying her kids feelings were hurt over something my kid said during online game play. Turns out her kids dishes it out far more and can't handle taking a little of it himself. I told my son to block that kid and never play with him again since he and his mom were both bad news. I believe my son had said "you're stupid", but what the other boy had said to my son was far worse like "you suck, you loser!" Tell your kid not to be such a tattle tale, OP, if he doesn't want to end up friendless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your son "standing up for himself." This is your son being a bully and trying to get his friend in trouble. What would possibly possess him to involve the principal over an (admittedly crude, but plainly joking) comment made outside of school? At least, I'm assuming it was outside of school.

I doubt it will be ignored, but I expect both boys will be pulled in for a talk. The friend about his language and your son about learning how to properly handle situations like this.

I also expect word will get around and your son will face some natural social consequences for this, so you should prepare to help him through that. And definitely talk to him about why he chose this (frankly bizarre) path in response to the comment.

People like you are the problem, not OP's son. OP's son absolutely did the right thing. Let me repeat: OP's son did the right thing in forwarding the email to the Principal. The other boy needs to be reprimanded and counseled about appropriate behavior and interactions on social media. The other boy will face a consequence. OP's son will be told that he did the right thing.

-A School Principal

LOL! You are SO not a principal! Or, if you are, you're not a very good one. You are so woefully ignorant of teen culture and responses that actually work. While this requires a reminder on appropriate interactions (social media or otherwise), it's not something that warrants a reprimand or singling out. It's also likely OP's DS will also face social repercussions when this gets out. OP's DS has violated norms far more so than the other boy. OP's DS did this in a fit of annoyance, not because he felt bullied. He felt punitive. Big difference.