Feast your eyes on Gwyneth Paltrow's new manse in Montecito

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks uncomfortable and stuffy.

I want somewhere I can cozy up and relax. You can’t fart on those benches and chairs without it echoing to every room in the house.

lol. But you don't fart on the macrobiotic diet.

So true. And the Jade or Rose quartz thing she keeps shoved up her cooch probably prevents all outward noises.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks uncomfortable and stuffy.

I want somewhere I can cozy up and relax. You can’t fart on those benches and chairs without it echoing to every room in the house.

lol. But you don't fart on the macrobiotic diet.

So true. And the Jade or Rose quartz thing she keeps shoved up her cooch probably prevents all outward noises.

I wonder if it makes a “clink” sound when she sits. Liking dropping ice in a glass.

[Anonymous]

It is definitely a bit airless and joyless. But gorg.

[Anonymous]

Gawd she is annoying.
Close second is Drew Barrymore.

[Anonymous]

There’s no plant-based, toxin-leaching, zero-gravity pod, no fermenting cabana, no crystal-powered sweat lodge. There are, to be sure, myriad elements specifically designed to nurture mind, body, and soul; they just happen to be far more discreet—things like Vitruvian proportions, sacred geometries, and a host of finely crafted architectural details that together represent a nuanced interpretation of wellness by design.

[Anonymous]

Personally I love the product placement of $20 goop lip balm next to a $30,000 shower. Talk about fleecing the rubes.

[Anonymous]

It’s beautiful, but it’s not my taste. I like much cozier spaces.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure about the light fixtures in the living room that seem to be wired with tangled extension chords.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about the light fixtures in the living room that seem to be wired with tangled extension chords.

I don’t like those either. They give the impression of old fixtures with bad wiring coming out of the ceiling.

Not a huge fan of most of the house—it makes me feel starved for color. I love the hammock and living room rug as well as the 70s looking couch. I would love to have a spa/sauna setup like that, but it feels so dark and drab and too large for no good reason. Overall, I enjoyed the tour quite a bit and found her surprisingly relatable.

[Anonymous]

I can't get over the blandness of it all. There's no life or warmth to it at all. For some reason, mashed potatoes kept coming to mind.

[Anonymous]

I am actually not a GP hater and usually love her style but do not like this at all. Minimalism fail.

[Anonymous]

I like everything except the clunky bar and puerile art in the living room.

[Anonymous]

Hideous

[Anonymous]

I think it suits her! So regardless of whether it's to my taste or not, it certainly feels that she got what she wanted, and she's happy with it.

What more can you ask?

[Anonymous]

It’s not ugly but I expected more. The text is saying one thing - like, what she wanted to accomplish, and I don’t see it accomplished in the photos. I like the kitchen the best, and some elements of the living room.

Also. why does the house look so dark?