Women who aren't white: How do you define elegance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

That's rude of you to say that to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

Oh yeah, and all the gold.

Sounds fun but not elegant. Elegant would probably be too boring for your mom and that’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

That's rude of you to say that to OP.

DP but it's really not. OP is famously nuts about this - posting about How do I dress to look like a preppy WASP and how do I attract a preppy guy and White Guys would you ever look twice at a brown girl if you are white and preppy?

She needs to work through this somewhere, and DCUM is not the place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

OP here. I love this. Thank you!

What brands do you usually buy? What colors? You probably have a similar skin tone.

I may get mocked for this on DC urban moms but here goes. I am late 40 something. I have warm olive skin. I wear Lilly Pulitzer solid prints mainly. A lot of their patterns I avoid for being too loud. I buy their lined dresses and avoid knit stuff or really loud prints. I also wear j crew separates (wool lined skirts, wool sweaters etc). I actually prefer vintage clothing and also consignment. Savvys consignment in Severna Park is great, but a bit of a drive from here. I don't have a large wardrobe. I have a capsule wardrobe. I shop at consignment thrift BC I like the quality of older items in terms of construction, lined etc. I could pay full price and frequently do. But if you find a great consignment store, why not? Shopping is tough fir me BC I am only 5 feet tall. Petite sizing is limited. I also shop at Boden.

Do you have recommendations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

That's rude of you to say that to OP.

DP but it's really not. OP is famously nuts about this - posting about How do I dress to look like a preppy WASP and how do I attract a preppy guy and White Guys would you ever look twice at a brown girl if you are white and preppy?

She needs to work through this somewhere, and DCUM is not the place.

Maybe but maybe not. How do you really know? Posters are anonymous. Lots of Asian women in this area If it is really her again, how about stop cutting her down and be nice. People are harsh on this forum. Telling her to get therapy etc. Be kind. Don't assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

Oh yeah, and all the gold.

Sounds fun but not elegant. Elegant would probably be too boring for your mom and that’s okay.

I'm not sure why anyone would think that only neutral colors are elegant. Jewel tones and deep tones are also very elegant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

Seriously.
- Another desi, first gen immigrant, (with an ABCD grown daughter no less) who sees a lot of examples of secure and confident south asian girls of all age-groups who are kicking ass in life, picking the best from two cultures and they are refreshingly free of the shackles of wanting to emulate White woman ---, because they have so many examples of success in their own community. I am mainly talking of very well educated women from Indian-American community but I don't think Pakistani-American women will be all that different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

That's rude of you to say that to OP.

DP but it's really not. OP is famously nuts about this - posting about How do I dress to look like a preppy WASP and how do I attract a preppy guy and White Guys would you ever look twice at a brown girl if you are white and preppy?

She needs to work through this somewhere, and DCUM is not the place.

Ha ha! I also recognized her immediately as someone who had posted before with the same tells - (Pakistani American woman, wants to be preppy and look UMC, wants to attract preppy White guy etc). She does have a major chip on her shoulders and it stand out because her posts are so odd and desperate.

To give her the feedback that she needs (not the feedback she wants) will be too harsh so most of us will not respond. She also cannot be helped in a meaningful way here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

OP here. I love this. Thank you!

What brands do you usually buy? What colors? You probably have a similar skin tone.

Chanel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

Oh yeah, and all the gold.

Sounds fun but not elegant. Elegant would probably be too boring for your mom and that’s okay.

OP asked for definitions of elegant - your version of elegant and mine sound very different and that's okay, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

That's rude of you to say that to OP.

DP but it's really not. OP is famously nuts about this - posting about How do I dress to look like a preppy WASP and how do I attract a preppy guy and White Guys would you ever look twice at a brown girl if you are white and preppy?

She needs to work through this somewhere, and DCUM is not the place.

Maybe but maybe not. How do you really know? Posters are anonymous. Lots of Asian women in this area If it is really her again, how about stop cutting her down and be nice. People are harsh on this forum. Telling her to get therapy etc. Be kind. Don't assume.

She has posted many many times. It’s beyond fashion advice at this point.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/706200.page

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/631215.page#10644811

[Anonymous]

White woman here, and the most elegant woman I know is Indian. She looks effortlessly put together, even early in the morning at tournaments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Chanel

Coco Chanel, Nazi sympathiser. No thank-you.