Women who aren't white: How do you define elegance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

Oh yeah, and all the gold.

Sounds fun but not elegant. Elegant would probably be too boring for your mom and that’s okay.

OP asked for definitions of elegant - your version of elegant and mine sound very different and that's okay, too.

You are entitled to your own definition of elegant. But your definition of elegant sounds very Eurocentric, when is the opposite of what the OP is looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani thirtysomething raised in McLean and moved here when I was 10. I am, as you can imagine, pretty thoroughly assimilated in the UMC NOVA culture. I notice that over the years I have subconsciously adopted the style and aesthetics of white women. What is considered elegant and sophisticated are the looks and styles of rich white women.

As I get older I am trying to re-claim my "brown girl beauty" but it is challenging as everyone I know is white and preppy!

So, how does a non-white woman aim to look elegant and beautiful while embracing her unique looks and body?

If you actually look at OPs post, it sounds like she is trying to embrace her multicultural identity. Best not to scold her, but rather support. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything all.

OP elegant women come in all colors, vultures etc. The tools that you see an elegant Asian woman use Vs a white woman are interchangeable and universal.

OP, with your melanin richer complexion you'll age much better than the standard white woman. 🙂. At least in terms of wrinkles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani thirtysomething raised in McLean and moved here when I was 10. I am, as you can imagine, pretty thoroughly assimilated in the UMC NOVA culture. I notice that over the years I have subconsciously adopted the style and aesthetics of white women. What is considered elegant and sophisticated are the looks and styles of rich white women.

As I get older I am trying to re-claim my "brown girl beauty" but it is challenging as everyone I know is white and preppy!

So, how does a non-white woman aim to look elegant and beautiful while embracing her unique looks and body?

If you actually look at OPs post, it sounds like she is trying to embrace her multicultural identity. Best not to scold her, but rather support. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything all.

OP elegant women come in all colors, vultures etc. The tools that you see an elegant Asian woman use Vs a white woman are interchangeable and universal.

OP, with your melanin richer complexion you'll age much better than the standard white woman. 🙂. At least in terms of wrinkles.

Autocorrect. Cultures. !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know white people? If you had even a few nonwhite friends or go to desi parties now and then you’d be able to find styles you like and consider elegant. It’s sad that South Asians go to such lengths to assimilate in this country.

Stop using the term desi. It's over.

no it’s not loser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know white people? If you had even a few nonwhite friends or go to desi parties now and then you’d be able to find styles you like and consider elegant. It’s sad that South Asians go to such lengths to assimilate in this country.

Stop using the term desi. It's over.

NP but what’s the new term?

Desi is not over.
—A Desi

Perdesi.

- Pahuncha hua Desi

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani thirtysomething raised in McLean and moved here when I was 10. I am, as you can imagine, pretty thoroughly assimilated in the UMC NOVA culture. I notice that over the years I have subconsciously adopted the style and aesthetics of white women. What is considered elegant and sophisticated are the looks and styles of rich white women.

As I get older I am trying to re-claim my "brown girl beauty" but it is challenging as everyone I know is white and preppy!

So, how does a non-white woman aim to look elegant and beautiful while embracing her unique looks and body?

If you actually look at OPs post, it sounds like she is trying to embrace her multicultural identity. Best not to scold her, but rather support. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything all.

OP elegant women come in all colors, vultures etc. The tools that you see an elegant Asian woman use Vs a white woman are interchangeable and universal.

OP, with your melanin richer complexion you'll age much better than the standard white woman. 🙂. At least in terms of wrinkles.

Perhaps..but that does not make you elegant.

[Anonymous]

This is an odd thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I love that you chose those two beautiful women, but picked pictures of them in jeans. Not exactly elegant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

Omg please stop. These "rules" scream WASP, and they're not universal.

Jewelry ... stop parroting a Nazi sympathizer. In Africa and South Asia, yellow gold jewelry is a beautiful marker of elegance. Visit these places, get enlightened.

As a Black woman, bright makeup looks great and elegant on me. I don't know what a "crazy color" even means re: manicures, but speak for yourself.

Hairspray? Barely a thing in my culture, and some of our natural hairstyles don't always have movement. Doesn't make them not elegant.

Your rules are boring. Not elegant. Let that brown girl magic side pop a little more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

Oh yeah, and all the gold.

Sounds fun but not elegant. Elegant would probably be too boring for your mom and that’s okay.

:roll: OP asked for definitions of elegant - your version of elegant and mine sound very different and that's okay, too.

You are entitled to your own definition of elegant. But your definition of elegant sounds very Eurocentric, when is the opposite of what the OP is looking for.

Um, what? I wrote the bolded things and I'm not sure why you think my description of my Indian mom who wears bright colors and gold jewelry is Eurocentric, but okay....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

This is classic, white WASP lady take on what looks elegant.

Not a desi take on elegance. But OP will eat it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

Omg please stop. These "rules" scream WASP, and they're not universal.

Jewelry ... stop parroting a Nazi sympathizer. In Africa and South Asia, yellow gold jewelry is a beautiful marker of elegance. Visit these places, get enlightened.

As a Black woman, bright makeup looks great and elegant on me. I don't know what a "crazy color" even means re: manicures, but speak for yourself.

Hairspray? Barely a thing in my culture, and some of our natural hairstyles don't always have movement. Doesn't make them not elegant.

Your rules are boring. Not elegant. Let that brown girl magic side pop a little more.

OP here. Thank you.

This is sort of what I mean. By living in the U.S. there is a standard white-washed expectation of elegance that is sometimes in opposition of the rules of beauty and elegance in other cultures. As others have pointed out, in Pakistani and Indian cultures, we wear brighter colors and bolder makeup. It is considered "tacky" by white people. As a brown woman in America, this is the line I am trying to walk aesthetically. I am also not very in touch with my culture so its a little harder than others who have large brown families and relatives around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

Omg please stop. These "rules" scream WASP, and they're not universal.

Jewelry ... stop parroting a Nazi sympathizer. In Africa and South Asia, yellow gold jewelry is a beautiful marker of elegance. Visit these places, get enlightened.

As a Black woman, bright makeup looks great and elegant on me. I don't know what a "crazy color" even means re: manicures, but speak for yourself.

Hairspray? Barely a thing in my culture, and some of our natural hairstyles don't always have movement. Doesn't make them not elegant.

Your rules are boring. Not elegant. Let that brown girl magic side pop a little more.

I agree with the above. Not universal at all. Brown skin women look very elegant with bright colors and gold jewelry. Go for it! White women don't usually go for that look simply because it doesn't look good on most of us. Plus, women in the DMV dress pretty terribly. Maybe you need to find inspiration elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

First I would determine your skin tone palette. It might be shocking for many, but not all brown have the same skin tone similar to White people. Some are more warm some are cool.
Then dress according to your skin tone. I don’t see anything wrong with preppy style for people of color, in fact there are a lot of preppy colors that compliment people of color.
Your heritage should not define your chosen style. Look at Amal Cloony, she is impeccable.