Women who aren't white: How do you define elegance?

[Anonymous]

I am a Pakistani thirtysomething raised in McLean and moved here when I was 10. I am, as you can imagine, pretty thoroughly assimilated in the UMC NOVA culture. I notice that over the years I have subconsciously adopted the style and aesthetics of white women. What is considered elegant and sophisticated are the looks and styles of rich white women.

As I get older I am trying to re-claim my "brown girl beauty" but it is challenging as everyone I know is white and preppy!

So, how does a non-white woman aim to look elegant and beautiful while embracing her unique looks and body?

[Anonymous]

I'm a hapa Japanese-American. "Elegance" to me means my mom: sort of effortlessly put together, even when she wore casual stuff. We didn't have a lot of money so it wasn't a matter of budget; she was just one of those women who knew exactly how to dress her figure, and she never went overboard with accessories or labels. It helped that she was very slender, of course.

[Anonymous]

Why do you only know white people? If you had even a few nonwhite friends or go to desi parties now and then you’d be able to find styles you like and consider elegant. It’s sad that South Asians go to such lengths to assimilate in this country.

[Anonymous]

Half white, half Asian.

Elegance to me means aging gracefully (no fillers or botox), dressing cleanly and simply, without heavy makeup or jewelry. Elegance is more about mannerisms and tone (kind, listen before you speak, make eye contact, etc) and how you present yourself.

[Anonymous]

Omg you have posted so many times. Please see a therapist for your insecurity issues.

-Fellow Brown Girl raised in McLean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani thirtysomething raised in McLean and moved here when I was 10. I am, as you can imagine, pretty thoroughly assimilated in the UMC NOVA culture. I notice that over the years I have subconsciously adopted the style and aesthetics of white women. What is considered elegant and sophisticated are the looks and styles of rich white women.

As I get older I am trying to re-claim my "brown girl beauty" but it is challenging as everyone I know is white and preppy!

So, how does a non-white woman aim to look elegant and beautiful while embracing her unique looks and body?

Where do you live now that you only know white people?

[Anonymous]

I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is very odd that you live in McLean and don't know other brown women. We are everywhere!

Anyway, in terms of what I strive for, definitely not the washed out, neutral colored, boring look of middle aged white women. I go for my mom, who still wears bright colors and bright lipstick and has a big personality.

Oh yeah, and all the gold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know white people? If you had even a few nonwhite friends or go to desi parties now and then you’d be able to find styles you like and consider elegant. It’s sad that South Asians go to such lengths to assimilate in this country.

Stop using the term desi. It's over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know white people? If you had even a few nonwhite friends or go to desi parties now and then you’d be able to find styles you like and consider elegant. It’s sad that South Asians go to such lengths to assimilate in this country.

Stop using the term desi. It's over.

NP but what’s the new term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Pakistani thirtysomething raised in McLean and moved here when I was 10. I am, as you can imagine, pretty thoroughly assimilated in the UMC NOVA culture. I notice that over the years I have subconsciously adopted the style and aesthetics of white women. What is considered elegant and sophisticated are the looks and styles of rich white women.

As I get older I am trying to re-claim my "brown girl beauty" but it is challenging as everyone I know is white and preppy!

So, how does a non-white woman aim to look elegant and beautiful while embracing her unique looks and body?

Wear designer clothing effortlessly, Prada, Gucci, etc.

Stay away from Ralph Lauren and Banana Republic!

[Anonymous]

Wear bright colors and yellow gold

[Anonymous]

Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know white people? If you had even a few nonwhite friends or go to desi parties now and then you’d be able to find styles you like and consider elegant. It’s sad that South Asians go to such lengths to assimilate in this country.

Stop using the term desi. It's over.

NP but what’s the new term?

Desi is not over.
—A Desi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half Pak/Kashmiri, half white. I guess I have my feet in both worlds.

I personally:

Avoid too much jewellery. I like jewellery a lot but when I stand in front of mirror before leaving for the morning, I always take off one piece

Tasteful makeup, not too bright or too much. But always some makeup.

No crazy colours on nails, but I'll still do navy nails, dark burgundy, bright pink etc.

Good quality clothing, ideally lined, for smooth sleek fit.

Styled clean hair, well brushed but not too much hairspray. Movement is good.

Honestly the rules so to speak for women regards of race, are universal.

OP here. I love this. Thank you!

What brands do you usually buy? What colors? You probably have a similar skin tone.