Can’t Decide About Third Baby

[Anonymous]

I have three and love it but it means that for years our whole life was naps, nursing, and super small kids. Youngest is four and OH THE FREEDOM! One in a car seat, everyone eats off a children’s menu, can use a toilet, etc. We wouldn’t have had it any other way but know what you are doing.

And make sure DH is a baby/toddler guy. Mine is, but without that, it wouldn’t have worked.

[Anonymous]

Yikes - you want 3 under 4? Ugh I could not stomach that kind of chaos and I have 3. Why force the issue? Wait a year see how you both feel

[Anonymous]

Those with 3…do you ever feel like one of your kids gets less attention than another? Maybe the easy one or the middle. With two you can divide the attention between them easily.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 boys and there are a full 3 years in between each. I do not find that hard to handle. The three of them are all so bonded. 3,6, 9. Perfect. Husband would never say but I know he loves having 3 boys. He is so good with them.

They share the largest bedroom. We do have 3 bedrooms and I am guessing when the oldest is a teen he will want his own. No problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping for a girl?

Ew. I think this question is so gross. Especially these days…your sweet little princess could decide she’s really a little prince and crush your dreams of a shopping and manicure buddy.

In this context it’s not gross, it’s getting to the crux of why OP might want a 3rd. Having a girl may have NOTHING to do with it, but if it does, your points are good ones for OP to ponder.

+1

It’s a legitimate question.

[Anonymous]

Just remember you get what you get, and your 3rd could have special needs far beyond what your other two have.

We were already pretty overwhelmed with just one baby, went for the 2nd. Our 2nd has a super rare genetic disorder and significant special needs. I did all the prenatal testing.

We are drowning and certain we cannot handle a 3rd.

Amnio with microarray is the test I’d get, especially with a 3rd baby where you’ve already got 2 kids you have obligations to.

[Anonymous]

Since you can't decide, then no. Don't have another. Make peace with no.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that if you go from two to three - you and Hubby need to switch from man to man defense to zone defense.

Just saying.

It's a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just remember you get what you get, and your 3rd could have special needs far beyond what your other two have.

We were already pretty overwhelmed with just one baby, went for the 2nd. Our 2nd has a super rare genetic disorder and significant special needs. I did all the prenatal testing.

We are drowning and certain we cannot handle a 3rd.

Amnio with microarray is the test I’d get, especially with a 3rd baby where you’ve already got 2 kids you have obligations to.

Would that rare issue have been picked up by it? I have a friend whose son has a super rare disorder that most certainly wouldn't have been included on a standard micro array. It's so rare its not 100% established either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just remember you get what you get, and your 3rd could have special needs far beyond what your other two have.

We were already pretty overwhelmed with just one baby, went for the 2nd. Our 2nd has a super rare genetic disorder and significant special needs. I did all the prenatal testing.

We are drowning and certain we cannot handle a 3rd.

Amnio with microarray is the test I’d get, especially with a 3rd baby where you’ve already got 2 kids you have obligations to.

Would that rare issue have been picked up by it? I have a friend whose son has a super rare disorder that most certainly wouldn't have been included on a standard micro array. It's so rare its not 100% established either

Pp here. It’s a good question. I don’t know for sure. But our pediatric geneticist told me if we want more babies and are worried about having another with the same disorder (extremely unlikely because it was just a random mutation - not inherited), that they could do an amnio with microarray. I always assumed that meant if I’d done it then we would have known. But maybe not because maybe what they mean is if they know which rare mutation to look for then they can go look for that.

Regardless, it’s good for OP to be aware that these things can happen and aren’t always possible to fix or detect ahead of time. Your third could be your hardest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently in the trenches of 3 with a 3 month old in addition to a 2 and 4 year old. It’s a different level of need I wasn’t expecting. Someone is always needing something. I am pretty laid back and even I am getting to my wits end. I never sit down anymore and I constantly feel like I’m either picking up a mess, making a bottle, wiping a butt or doing laundry. And yes, my DH does just as much. He does all the cooking and deep cleaning as well as errands. When they become older and more self sufficient I think it will be a little better but right now they are all needy. Honestly I’m ending my maternity leave early so I can have the “break” of going back to work.

I also am currently in the trenches and can very much relate to this. The level of need is intense.

[Anonymous]

It took us a few years to decide so we have an age gap but so glad we have our third. Just couldn’t shake the feeling I wasnt done so went for it.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. We stuck with two and are glad we didn’t go for a third.

[Anonymous]

No. Stay with two.

[Anonymous]

"Can't decide" means no.