Can’t Decide About Third Baby

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have two sweet little boys - 3 years and 18 months old. We thought we were done but then we started talking about the possibility of having a third. We are very mixed and some days we are like “ we’re done” and other days we think about what it would be like to have another one. We both love the baby phase and I think that is a strong reason of why we are considering a third baby. I feel like we need to make a decision soon because I would want all of them close in age. We have talked about my husband getting a vasectomy once we are done having kids. It’s hard to deicide and fully close that door, but I’m not sure if I really want to go through pregnancy with two young kids.

[Anonymous]

I have three boys, and absolutely love it. I always knew o wanted at least 3 kids though. I definitely don’t think you should go for the 3rd just because you love the baby phase, because that goes by in a blink of an eye. Three kids is wonderful, but it is definitely a lot more work and even more chaos/mess/noise level in the house plus life gets so busy with all their activities as they get older. I think when your youngest hits that age no longer being a baby anymore it’s very natural to mourn that baby stage and want another because you can’t comprehend it being over forever. I felt like that after every kid, but especially the 3rd. Once I let time go by, I reevaluated again at ages 3 and 4, and realized we don’t want another kid really (for number 4). Maybe wait another 6 months, and see how you feel then.

[Anonymous]

Are you hoping for a girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping for a girl?

Ew. I think this question is so gross. Especially these days…your sweet little princess could decide she’s really a little prince and crush your dreams of a shopping and manicure buddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping for a girl?

Ew. I think this question is so gross. Especially these days…your sweet little princess could decide she’s really a little prince and crush your dreams of a shopping and manicure buddy.

In this context it’s not gross, it’s getting to the crux of why OP might want a 3rd. Having a girl may have NOTHING to do with it, but if it does, your points are good ones for OP to ponder.

[Anonymous]

Currently in the trenches of 3 with a 3 month old in addition to a 2 and 4 year old. It’s a different level of need I wasn’t expecting. Someone is always needing something. I am pretty laid back and even I am getting to my wits end. I never sit down anymore and I constantly feel like I’m either picking up a mess, making a bottle, wiping a butt or doing laundry. And yes, my DH does just as much. He does all the cooking and deep cleaning as well as errands. When they become older and more self sufficient I think it will be a little better but right now they are all needy. Honestly I’m ending my maternity leave early so I can have the “break” of going back to work.

[Anonymous]

I have three boys - 6.5 yrs, 4 yrs, 8 months. I am very happy we decided to have a third but holy s**t its a lot of work, and my kids are way older than yours would be. I feel stretched in a way I never felt with just the two boys, and that is even with my oldest being in full day school and my husband working from home. Its simply just a lot of little people with a lot of needs and they are all different.

[Anonymous]

Everyone I know that had a third either got divorced or camd close. It puts a lot of pressure on a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently in the trenches of 3 with a 3 month old in addition to a 2 and 4 year old. It’s a different level of need I wasn’t expecting. Someone is always needing something. I am pretty laid back and even I am getting to my wits end. I never sit down anymore and I constantly feel like I’m either picking up a mess, making a bottle, wiping a butt or doing laundry. And yes, my DH does just as much. He does all the cooking and deep cleaning as well as errands. When they become older and more self sufficient I think it will be a little better but right now they are all needy. Honestly I’m ending my maternity leave early so I can have the “break” of going back to work.

The only people I know with 3 the mom's WOH. I'm a SAHM and the idea of three makes me want to drive into the river, truthfully.

[Anonymous]

My 3rd graduated college recently and is the light of my life. That's my contribution.

[Anonymous]

If you’re unsure, then no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have two sweet little boys - 3 years and 18 months old. We thought we were done but then we started talking about the possibility of having a third. We are very mixed and some days we are like “ we’re done” and other days we think about what it would be like to have another one. We both love the baby phase and I think that is a strong reason of why we are considering a third baby. I feel like we need to make a decision soon because I would want all of them close in age. We have talked about my husband getting a vasectomy once we are done having kids. It’s hard to deicide and fully close that door, but I’m not sure if I really want to go through pregnancy with two young kids.

I’m team don’t wait. We have two and we tried for a but and quit because I got scared but here I am with two boys 8 and 6 still wanting a third.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you hoping for a girl?

OP here. No. We are every happy with our boys. If we did have a girl, great, but another boy would great too. A boy at this point would be easier since we have everything we need for boys. We just want a healthy baby.

[Anonymous]

OP you described me a few years ago.

We went for the third and ended up with twins.

No regrets, but it has been crazy ever since.

[Anonymous]

I was you. Had two boys. Except I wanted a third and DH didn’t. Went for it and she’s the light of our lives. But what all PP have said is true- the third throws a wrench into planning and car arrangement and rooms and everything. Can your car hold three kids (with car seats and boosters). Do you need a new house with more space? It’s a lot but I am grateful everyday for her.