Married to an antivaxxer

[Anonymous]

My husband is also against the Covid vaccine. He had to get it for work and still complains about it. He is adamant that our kids aren't getting it; however, my 10 yr old wants to get it and I plan to take him. His father doesn't have to know. Its just that simple

[Anonymous]

Just take them and get the vaccine.

[Anonymous]

Can we stop calling people who refuse to get the vaccine an anti-vaxxer? Being skeptical of one new vaccine is very different than refusing to take any vaccine. This is coming from a person who go the vaccine and opposes anti-vaxxers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

+1. Being skeptical of one new vaccine does not make him an anti-vaxxer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop calling people who refuse to get the vaccine an anti-vaxxer? Being skeptical of one new vaccine is very different than refusing to take any vaccine. This is coming from a person who go the vaccine and opposes anti-vaxxers.

No. Because your skepticism of this vaccine isn't any better founded than the skepticism of the people you consider "real" antivaxxers. It's new, but - in addition to the testing - its been used by billions of people. And even that's beside the point. Most people's limited understanding of the mechanics and the risks of one vaccine versus the other makes their decision to embrace one kind of vaccine and oppose another essentially arbitrary. So, setting aside a special place for COVID "skeptics" as "good" antivaxxers is just special pleading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

+1. Being skeptical of one new vaccine does not make him an anti-vaxxer.

What's the threshold? Two vaccines? Five? Ten?

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat. H has legit health concerns and had to jump through hoops to get the waiver to keep his job. He's adamant that DC not get the vaccine b/c there's no data on long term effect.

This is not the only major issue we disagree on. Divorce has crossed my mind, but on balance I think it would make the situation worse for everyone, especially the kids.

It's a struggle. We have bad days and many good days. So I trudge on. You're not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

+1. Being skeptical of one new vaccine does not make him an anti-vaxxer.

What's the threshold? Two vaccines? Five? Ten?

Refusing all vaccines would make on an antivaxxer. Your kids being otherwise fully vaccinated but being uncertain about the COVID vaccine, or wanting to delay does not qualify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we stop calling people who refuse to get the vaccine an anti-vaxxer? Being skeptical of one new vaccine is very different than refusing to take any vaccine. This is coming from a person who go the vaccine and opposes anti-vaxxers.

No. Because your skepticism of this vaccine isn't any better founded than the skepticism of the people you consider "real" antivaxxers. It's new, but - in addition to the testing - its been used by billions of people. And even that's beside the point. Most people's limited understanding of the mechanics and the risks of one vaccine versus the other makes their decision to embrace one kind of vaccine and oppose another essentially arbitrary. So, setting aside a special place for COVID "skeptics" as "good" antivaxxers is just special pleading.

If he is vaccinated and the kids are otherwise vaccinated you can't claim he's an antivaxxer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

+1. Being skeptical of one new vaccine does not make him an anti-vaxxer.

And notice OP hasn't been back, not a sincere poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The good news for you is the vax is simply not necessary for kids.

The good news for you is that you’re wrong.

[Anonymous]

They only need the authorization of one parent, absent a divorce and a very specific custody agreement. Just take them yourself, then really consider if a person with his level of willful ignorance is someone you want to spend the rest of your life married to.

[Anonymous]

Are these husbands lacking critical thinking skills in most other areas of their lives? or is it just a political blind spot on this one issue?

I don’t know anyone in my peer group who has not been vaccinated and I am genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I support the vaccine. Dh doesn't. We have kids. His view will win out for them. This isn't the only issue we stand on polar opposite sides with. I don't know how to make this work. But the thought of my kids losing stability at home and never knowing parents who had a good relationship makes me want to throw up so I keep trying to just survive this. I'm in therapy. But when you have disagreements where there is no room for compromise... Big consequential disagreements... What do you do?

Can you reframe your thoughts? There's him not being vaccinated, which is separate from your kids not being vaccinated. I don't think anyone can dispute the science that kids are in the lowest risk category for severe COVID disease, with risk increasing with age and weight. But as far as your DH is concerned, maybe he could get J&J. Or novavax if he can get into UMD trial.

[Anonymous]

Take your Child to get the vaccine. Your husband can stay selfish and mad.