Married to an antivaxxer

[Anonymous]

I support the vaccine. Dh doesn't. We have kids. His view will win out for them. This isn't the only issue we stand on polar opposite sides with. I don't know how to make this work. But the thought of my kids losing stability at home and never knowing parents who had a good relationship makes me want to throw up so I keep trying to just survive this. I'm in therapy. But when you have disagreements where there is no room for compromise... Big consequential disagreements... What do you do?

[Anonymous]

Big picture; I don’t know. Small picture, take them for a vaccination.

[Anonymous]

Honestly this would be grounds for separation/divorce for me. I could tolerate some vaccine hesitancy/asking questions. But so many of the anti vax people are conspiracy theorists and those aren’t rabbit holes I care to go down.

Have your kids received other vaccinations? Would he be willing to have a conversation with your pediatrician?

[Anonymous]

PP here. I would also reframe your thoughts about divorce. It is the healthier option in many cases. Kids also suffer when parents are unhappily married.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

[Anonymous]

The good news for you is the vax is simply not necessary for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big picture; I don’t know. Small picture, take them for a vaccination.

I would take my kids to the pediatrician and get a vaccine. He’s going to rant and scream about the vaccine no matter what, at least your kids will be vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

DTMF. But you already know that, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

She's married to someone who's irrationally putting her kids at risk and you're concerned about "exaggeration." Your priorities are screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The good news for you is the vax is simply not necessary for kids.

A dad who isn't conspiracy-minded is pretty necessary.

[Anonymous]

I was married to an anti-vaxxer. I divorced him. But my kids only got shots in HS because of how things played out legally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming your kids have received their other vaccines, so he is not an antivaxxer. He is concerned about the COVID vaccine. Your discussions with him will likely go further if you stay away from exaggeration and hysterics.

She's married to someone who's irrationally putting her kids at risk and you're concerned about "exaggeration." Your priorities are screwed.

You are also hysterical. Her kids risk is pretty minimal, and while I think COVID vaccines are the best route, I recognize she's likely to get further with her husband by hearing hin our addressing his specific concerns with this vaccine and his sources than labeling him an anti-vaxxer and telling him she wants a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I support the vaccine. Dh doesn't. We have kids. His view will win out for them. This isn't the only issue we stand on polar opposite sides with. I don't know how to make this work. But the thought of my kids losing stability at home and never knowing parents who had a good relationship makes me want to throw up so I keep trying to just survive this. I'm in therapy. But when you have disagreements where there is no room for compromise... Big consequential disagreements... What do you do?

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

His body, his choice. If you want your kids vaccinated, just take them. Or, wait a few months to see reactions.

[Anonymous]

To answer your broader question, it's whoever gains the upper hand in the argument, or whoever has the most financial clout and is ready to pay for it, or whoever has more willpower than the other and makes it happen, or whoever is willing to die on that hill.

To comment on your Covid vaccination issue, this IS something I'd be willing to divorce over, so I'd get my children vaccinated over the objections of their other parent, no question. I have the legal right to do so.