Are There Any Red Flags Here?

[Anonymous]

She is jealous of her friends who are able to eat whatever they want, not exercise, and still look to be in decent shape.

This is the part that was a red flag to me, given she's 11.

[Anonymous]

I would just keep an eye on it. Encourage her to go outside and play rather than exercising along with videos ... fitness should feel natural and fun at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She is jealous of her friends who are able to eat whatever they want, not exercise, and still look to be in decent shape.

This is the part that was a red flag to me, given she's 11.

I mean, they look that way because of how we've been told to assess health (BMI! Orthorexy!), but it's wrong.

If she were just eating and exercising to feel good, I wouldn't worry, but the fact that she had this going on makes me a little nervous about what she's going to do when he body starts changing, as bodies are wont to do.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would take her to a therapist to get evaluated. My daughter was similar when she was 11-12, she is now in recovery for an eating disorder. If I could change one thing, it would be to go back to when she was in 7th grade and take her to therapy then when she first felt self conscious about her body and starting "eating healthy". I'm not saying that will be the case for your daughter but I'd error on the side of caution.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. This sounds so familiar. My DD has two friends who started with eating healthy, then going vegan, then working out obsessively, then limiting food in general. Ended up in an in-treatment facility. Just keep a close eye on this.

[Anonymous]

What is she eating now? Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is she eating now? Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Breakfast is usually cereal (Lucky Charms), milk, fruits, pancakes, waffles, crepes, etc.

Lunch is taquitos, pasta, noodles, sandwiches, etc. along with vegetables, fruits, yogurt, etc.

Dinner is usually Indian food.

To the PP who asked/worried about puberty. It's already here. Her body has changed significantly in the last year and a half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, it took me much longer to figure out if I eat something sugary, I just want more, but if I avoid it I'm fine. There are no red flags with avoiding junk because you don't like what it does to you and it's sad to think anyone could come on here are tell you differently and in case anyone goes there...no this is not orthorexia. It does sound like she is getting consumed with health and fitness culture which is OK to a degree as long as it does not interfere with her well being and happiness.

Major Red flags are:

-Low BMI and laguno fuzz
-Loss of menstrual cycle
-Giving up previously enjoyed activities to exercise and restrict food
-throwing up on purpose
-restricting calories to an unhealthy level
-Signs of osteopenia

These are not red flags. These are signs of an eating disorder that has been allowed to progress because you missed the red flags.

[Anonymous]

I agree to keep an eye on it.

Here’s the deal - the only way to keep our weight in check is to watch what we eat & exercise. That applies to grown women and it applies to 11 year olds. I wish we lived in a magic world where we didn’t have to put effort into it. For some lucky girls and women, you don’t! For the rest of us, we have to, and it doesn’t equate to an eating disorder. It’s just the cold hard truth of staying in shape. If she seems confident and happy with herself and without any OCD tendencies, then I would feel reassured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, it took me much longer to figure out if I eat something sugary, I just want more, but if I avoid it I'm fine. There are no red flags with avoiding junk because you don't like what it does to you and it's sad to think anyone could come on here are tell you differently and in case anyone goes there...no this is not orthorexia. It does sound like she is getting consumed with health and fitness culture which is OK to a degree as long as it does not interfere with her well being and happiness.

Major Red flags are:

-Low BMI and laguno fuzz
-Loss of menstrual cycle
-Giving up previously enjoyed activities to exercise and restrict food
-throwing up on purpose
-restricting calories to an unhealthy level
-Signs of osteopenia

Those are all red flags, but ones that can come very late. Waiting until BMI is dangerously low, or there's osteopenia is very dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, it took me much longer to figure out if I eat something sugary, I just want more, but if I avoid it I'm fine. There are no red flags with avoiding junk because you don't like what it does to you and it's sad to think anyone could come on here are tell you differently and in case anyone goes there...no this is not orthorexia. It does sound like she is getting consumed with health and fitness culture which is OK to a degree as long as it does not interfere with her well being and happiness.

Major Red flags are:

-Low BMI and laguno fuzz
-Loss of menstrual cycle
-Giving up previously enjoyed activities to exercise and restrict food
-throwing up on purpose
-restricting calories to an unhealthy level
-Signs of osteopenia

Omg those are NOT red flags, those are symptoms of a full blown eating disorder.

What OP describes is all red flags.
Those are all red flags, but ones that can come very late. Waiting until BMI is dangerously low, or there's osteopenia is very dangerous.

[Anonymous]

My daughter did not want to lose weight but she wanted to eat healthy. Pretty rapidly she became consumed by this and cut out more and more foods from her diet. She also watched cooking shows and was generally obsessed with food - without eating it. I scheduled a pediatrician visit, and he felt she had an eating disorder (based on habits and no weight gain from previous visit). After therapy (not long in this case - about six months), family style meals, and many tears (mine and hers), she seemed to awaken (which I understand is part of the the entire disordered eating pattern - you're not thinking clearly because you're not fueling your body). Maybe another six months later she was a normal body weight, went through puberty, and although we will keep a close eye, seems to have weathered the storm. Just our experience, in case it's helpful.

[Anonymous]

That is basically what the beginning of my eating disorder looked like at that age. But the meals you describe sound pretty normal (not very restrictive or health-obsessed), unless she’s restricting by portion size. I would keep an eye out for controlling behavior/how she reacts when things are outside her control. For instance, is she exercising at the same time everyday, and if she can’t exercise for some reason one day, does she get upset or double up her fitness routine the next day? Does the range of foods she’ll eat become more narrow and does she become upset if you don’t have them? Those would be serious flags for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree to keep an eye on it.

Here’s the deal - the only way to keep our weight in check is to watch what we eat & exercise. That applies to grown women and it applies to 11 year olds. I wish we lived in a magic world where we didn’t have to put effort into it. For some lucky girls and women, you don’t! For the rest of us, we have to, and it doesn’t equate to an eating disorder. It’s just the cold hard truth of staying in shape. If she seems confident and happy with herself and without any OCD tendencies, then I would feel reassured.

This is true for adults, but I don't think it's appropriate for 11 year olds to be thinking about six pack abs and weight/diet/fitness. They still have baby fat, for god-sakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is basically what the beginning of my eating disorder looked like at that age. But the meals you describe sound pretty normal (not very restrictive or health-obsessed), unless she’s restricting by portion size. I would keep an eye out for controlling behavior/how she reacts when things are outside her control. For instance, is she exercising at the same time everyday, and if she can’t exercise for some reason one day, does she get upset or double up her fitness routine the next day? Does the range of foods she’ll eat become more narrow and does she become upset if you don’t have them? Those would be serious flags for me.

She eats whatever I give her, so portion sizes are good. Some days she’ll eat 4 meals (one light) if she knows that her activities will either take long, or will be strenuous. She skipped working out today because she was sore. She does not double up the following day or get upset about missing workouts due to unforeseen circumstances. She doesn’t work out at the same time every day, but has a schedule she tries to keep - come home, do x, y, z, work out, shower, etc. She was a picky eater as a young child, but eats just about everything now, even weird things I won’t touch.