To those married to a "dumb" spouse

[Anonymous]

I married a 7-8 on looks but a 10+ on brains. Best decision I ever made as 35 years later at 60 her looks are 8-9 for her age and her brains are still 10+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar situation over here, with an Aspie twist (or whatever the heck he has). My husband with multiple terminal degrees thinks he's smarter than everyone else, including me, and lets me know this pointedly whenever he's upset (which these days is pretty often).

The weird thing is, despite great intelligence and vast knowledge in his multiple topics of expertise... he doesn't have a lot of common sense. He's particularly bad at social communication, psychology, understanding people's motivations, etc, and has no empathy whatsoever when his interests get in the way. The worse is that he thinks he's so good at it, and doesn't seem to realize that he doesn't understand people at all, has been let go from several posts over the years, and has no friends - our friends are actually my friends, who tolerate him more or less good-naturedly. It all seems suspiciously like some variety of high-functioning autism. Not that knowing would do any good. It's been suggested to him many times, and he has a viscerally negative reaction any time it comes up.

Same here, plus has the Dx. All the comments his mother made then made sense….

Wish we could meet up, he’s boring as all get up after work.

[Anonymous]

Did you care, if you married someone significantly less intelligent, how that might factor into pot3ntial children’s intelligence levels?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you care, if you married someone significantly less intelligent, how that might factor into pot3ntial children’s intelligence levels?

Seriously.

I was turned on that the hot, funny guy I was talking to got a perfect SAT score. We were 25. His friends was trying to hit on me by making a joke that he was a dork. He was square jawed, muscular, hot as hell and hilarious and brilliant.

I wanted to have his babies (not for a decade at least), but who wants a dummy for a spouse. How do you have stimulating conversations for the next 50+ years with a dummy?’ Looks will fade and what are your left with?

My kids turned out to be brilliant honors students that were star athletes and good looking. I never had to worry. That got As with barely having to put in the work.

Darwin. Survival of the fittest. Genes matter.

[Anonymous]

^ I was the female version. Hot scientist, D1 athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you care, if you married someone significantly less intelligent, how that might factor into pot3ntial children’s intelligence levels?

No, because intelligence is primarily inherited by the mother.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by "dumb" ?

Lacking commonsense or not intellectual/academic? Or both?

I have dated both ends of spectrum. I can live with a partner who's not an intellectual but I can't live with the lack of everyday commonsense.

[Anonymous]

I love being married to or business partners with people that don't remember anything. Makes it so much easier to learn who is truthful and who is dishonest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my wife and have been happily married to her for 20+ years, but the truth is she's dumb as a rock. I try to focus on her good qualities (very pretty, sense of humor, fashion sense, etc.) and it helps me to appreciate her for what she is. When I want to have some sort of intellectually stimulating experience, I either read a book or watch a documentary (without her).

I find that intelligence and humor go hand in hand

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by "dumb" ?

Lacking commonsense or not intellectual/academic? Or both?

I have dated both ends of spectrum. I can live with a partner who's not an intellectual but I can't live with the lack of everyday commonsense.

common sense is not one word

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married a 7-8 on looks but a 10+ on brains. Best decision I ever made as 35 years later at 60 her looks are 8-9 for her age and her brains are still 10+.

So we know which one you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love being married to or business partners with people that don't remember anything. Makes it so much easier to learn who is truthful and who is dishonest.

No thanks. Brain farts and lying on purpose or on “accident” are a terrible way to live or do business. So many setbacks, they never stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you care, if you married someone significantly less intelligent, how that might factor into pot3ntial children’s intelligence levels?

No, because intelligence is primarily inherited by the mother.

Wait I thought intelligence wasn’t heritable.

[Anonymous]

What if you each think this about each other?

[Anonymous]

I'm the opposite. I married my intellectual equal and sometimes find it difficult. We're both have a PhD and used to love good debates. Now with tough job and 2 kids sometimes I just don't want to read subtitles or solve the problems with the Afghan withdrawal etc etc. I just want a chick flick and a glass of wine. I think he's frustrated with me. Maybe when I'm less stressed and get more sleep I will enjoy those things again, but for now, I'm maxed out and I know he doesn't like that.