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My 4-yr old son obsessed w/girl stuff-IS IT NORMAL??
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Anonymous
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My 4-yr old son is constantly walking around saying, "I'm a girl", or "I'm a princess". He's always talking about dressing up like a girl. He also says, "I like girls, so I'm a girl". I'm starting to get concerned. Is this normal? Is it a phase? Should I talk to a professional?
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Anonymous
| I think, it is pretty normal at this age. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Does he also play with toys for boys? |
Anonymous
| OP here. Yes, he does. He doesn't have dolls, or anything. But, always says he likes pink, & now wants to take ballet classes, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. |
Anonymous
| Very normal. My son did that too. I have known lots of other boys who were like that too. Just let him do it and don't worry about it. It's like girls who are "Tomboys." My son outgrew it but I wouldn't worry even if he never did. |
Anonymous
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I had a cousin that used to be like that, he is now 28 and gay. Not saying your son will be gay but I don't think talking to a "professional" is going to do anything except make him hate himself and possibly you.
That being said, I think four is a little young to be concerned. I think it's pretty normal for boys (and girls) to experiment with gender roles. |
Anonymous
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I had a neighbor like this (posted this in the thread below about the one son playing with all girls) and he is now gay too. But this is probably just a phase, so I wouldn't worry about it.
What does the dad think? |
Anonymous
OP here again. That's just it, no dad. We're a 2 mom household, & I wonder if that is playing a role. Of course, we are the last to judge, we just worry about bullying, etc, down the road. |
Anonymous
hmmm, I know nothing about two-mom households. Is there a benefit to trying to get some male role models around every now and then? Not just for when playing dress-up, but just in general? |
Anonymous
I think it does play a role because you are his role models. My son was only interested in "girl" stuff when he was little because he has sisters. He is seven now and he's much more into macho stuff now that he's around boys all the time but he still likes pink  . I was worried the first time he wore a bright pink shirt to public school but he came home and told me that the kids at his school "know there aren't any boy colors or girl colors." He has a great teacher so this might be the reason the kids were nice about it. He was teased a little bit in his old school but we encouraged him to be himself. Have you seen this book? http://www.amazon.com/My-Princess-Boy-Story-about/dp/0615395945
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Anonymous
| I am going to get flamed for this (FYI -- I am socially and politically liberal) but I definitely noticed that my older DS started acting a bit effeminate after his father left the scene. |
Anonymous
| My son is six and likes boy stuff but is also very close with his younger sister and loves to play "house" and "dollies" with her. He recently brought "Pinkalicious" home from the school library and told me it was his favorite book, plus he likes pink. He also like cars and trucks, etc (as does his sister). He has told me he wants to marry his best (boy) friend. But he has also said the same about girls. I won't be surprised if he is gay but I see it more as a connection with his sister. |
Anonymous
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I second the rec for My Princess Boy.
http://www.myprincessboy.com/index.asp Totally normal, I think. |
Anonymous
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Those are some interesting observations. My DS is totally boy - superheros, fireman dress-up, cars etc. But then he spends a lot of time with his dad while I work. Now that you mentioned that you are a two women household, I can understand it a little more. Does he have a lot of friends that are girls? About a year ago, my DS liked to play in the play kitchen a lot and he would feed babies in high chairs and cook dinner on the stove. He is still very interested in cooking and he likes to help me in the kitchen.
I think your son is just fine and if he turns out to be gay, then that's okay, too. |
Anonymous
what did you say to him when he said he wanted to marry his male friend? I tend to think that most people are not 100% homosexual or 0%, but varying degrees in the middle depending on a variety of factors. And if not for societal pressure, we would be like the ancient romans and greeks in a lot of ways. Given that, I'd try to gently dissuade my son from those tendencies (but reluctantly but finally accepting if it is clear he is homosexual as an adult). |
Anonymous
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My 5 year old son from a heterosexual household has always liked pink - his second favorite color besides red - and dolls, dollhouses, kitchen play, dress-up, etc. I enrolled him in ballet class and he said that what he liked about it was that he got to dance with girls! His best friend is a girl, although he likes to play with both girls and boys, and his favorite hero is Harry Potter.
I would not worry about it. |