Constantly rejected and I'm feeling embarrassed. I'm not sure what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Not sure how to post images, but I'd say that my everyday look would be at the most like this:
https://pin.it/3x2JCsS

So you are mixed black?

[Anonymous]

Your breath. Really. Ask your dentist to give you a check up for halitosis. This holds back so many people. Attraction is based on scent and anything even slightly off in that area is a complete deal breaker--but guess what? The guy will never tell you! So watch out for this--get the check up-always have strong mints and or gum in you purse, etc.

I wish I knew you! It will work out! Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35 and I've never had a serious relationship. I dated someone 2 years ago who broke up with me and said I was very nice and sweet and anyone would be lucky to have me. Prior to that I was cheated on and I had a fwb before meeting my unfaithful ex. I have dated online and met people in person and the same results. People seem to want to date me because I'm nice and feel like I shouldn't be alone, but that isn't enough to sustain a relationship. I'm quite embarrassed as I do desire marriage and long-term partnership, but I can barely get into a relationship and I just don't see it happening. I'm the only one out of my friends who is in this situation, so I don't have anyone to turn to.

What are your interests, OP? What is your personality like?

I'm a huge sports fan, basketball specifically. My dad was a high school coach and my sibling played at the college level, so it's a big part of my life. Dating a sports fan is a must for me. I also love cooking, one of my favorite things to do with a partner. I read periodically and I love going to comedy shows and theater shows(live music and plays). Traveling is also an interest of mine.
I'm very low key and it can sometimes take awhile for me to come out of my shell as I'm shy, especially when it comes to dating. I'm confident elsewhere. I'm excelling in my career, but those skills haven't translated to my dating life.

OK so you sound pretty great! You just need a basketball guy, or a basketball-adjacent guy. How would you rate yourself in terms of attractiveness?

I'm likely a 6-7, so about average. 5'5" and 150lbs, size 6. Think cute, nerdy, with glasses. I'm kind of a plain jane, but dress up when necessary. I choose comfort over being cute however.

Sorry, but that's not a 6-7.

She is probably more like a 3, especially with the glasses and frumpy clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35 and I've never had a serious relationship. I dated someone 2 years ago who broke up with me and said I was very nice and sweet and anyone would be lucky to have me. Prior to that I was cheated on and I had a fwb before meeting my unfaithful ex. I have dated online and met people in person and the same results. People seem to want to date me because I'm nice and feel like I shouldn't be alone, but that isn't enough to sustain a relationship. I'm quite embarrassed as I do desire marriage and long-term partnership, but I can barely get into a relationship and I just don't see it happening. I'm the only one out of my friends who is in this situation, so I don't have anyone to turn to.

What are your interests, OP? What is your personality like?

I'm a huge sports fan, basketball specifically. My dad was a high school coach and my sibling played at the college level, so it's a big part of my life. Dating a sports fan is a must for me. I also love cooking, one of my favorite things to do with a partner. I read periodically and I love going to comedy shows and theater shows(live music and plays). Traveling is also an interest of mine.
I'm very low key and it can sometimes take awhile for me to come out of my shell as I'm shy, especially when it comes to dating. I'm confident elsewhere. I'm excelling in my career, but those skills haven't translated to my dating life.

OK so you sound pretty great! You just need a basketball guy, or a basketball-adjacent guy. How would you rate yourself in terms of attractiveness?

I'm likely a 6-7, so about average. 5'5" and 150lbs, size 6. Think cute, nerdy, with glasses. I'm kind of a plain jane, but dress up when necessary. I choose comfort over being cute however.

Sorry, but that's not a 6-7.

She is probably more like a 3, especially with the glasses and frumpy clothes.

i thought 7 was above average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So 150 lbs is size 6? That doesn’t seem quite right. Don’t try to sell yourself as something you are not. If you are listing yourself as size 6 and the date sees a 150 lb woman, they will wonder in what other areas you are being misleading...

Go away!

+1000 I have the same measurements and am a size 6. PP is clueless.

But OP said she is a size small, size 6, 150 lbs and 5ft 5. Something sounds off….

NP here. I'm also 5'5 and a size 6, but I weight 125.

Beauty comes in ALL sizes, but I think it is important to describe yourself accurately in online dating because people do have their preferences. If you are a tall woman and like the idea of meeting up with a guy who describes himself as 6 feet, but then he shows up and is five inches shorter, you'd probably be put off that he lied, and by the insecurity the lie entailed, right? I think that unfortunately it is the same with women's sizes for men. Some men love curvy women, and will look for this in the online profile. In OP's case, I don't see how she can classify herself as "small" (or be a size 6), so maybe this is part of what is happening.

OP, you said you wear mostly casual clothes, so maybe try on some tailored or more fitted things to see what your actual size might be.

[Anonymous]

The incels and their handmaidens have taken over this thread, OP. Sorry, but you are no longer going to get any good advice. It's best you abandon this thread work on your self-esteem, be the best version of you whatever that is. Maybe ask a trusted friend or similarly aged family member for tips. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So 150 lbs is size 6? That doesn’t seem quite right. Don’t try to sell yourself as something you are not. If you are listing yourself as size 6 and the date sees a 150 lb woman, they will wonder in what other areas you are being misleading...

Go away!

+1000 I have the same measurements and am a size 6. PP is clueless.

But OP said she is a size small, size 6, 150 lbs and 5ft 5. Something sounds off….

NP here. I'm also 5'5 and a size 6, but I weight 125.

Beauty comes in ALL sizes, but I think it is important to describe yourself accurately in online dating because people do have their preferences. If you are a tall woman and like the idea of meeting up with a guy who describes himself as 6 feet, but then he shows up and is five inches shorter, you'd probably be put off that he lied, and by the insecurity the lie entailed, right? I think that unfortunately it is the same with women's sizes for men. Some men love curvy women, and will look for this in the online profile. In OP's case, I don't see how she can classify herself as "small" (or be a size 6), so maybe this is part of what is happening.

OP, you said you wear mostly casual clothes, so maybe try on some tailored or more fitted things to see what your actual size might be.

I also weigh 125 pounds and wear a size 6. I usually wear a size S or M. I have a lot of skinny friends. I would not say I am skinny, maybe athletic. I’m married with 3 kids. I think I am average size. Surprised OP thinks she is thin and small.

Also I am around 125, often 128. If OP says she is 150, she can easily be 155.

[Anonymous]

Op here, when I was 125, I was wearing a size 0-2
I include full body pics in my online profiles, so I am not hiding my weight. I'm wearing small shirt and size 6 shorts now that fit comfortably. What is all of the obsession with weight if it is healthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The incels and their handmaidens have taken over this thread, OP. Sorry, but you are no longer going to get any good advice. It's best you abandon this thread work on your self-esteem, be the best version of you whatever that is. Maybe ask a trusted friend or similarly aged family member for tips. Good luck to you.

We are telling OP to make herself more presentable on dates so she is not constantly rejected. How is that not good advice?

My best friend is newly divorced. She gained a lot of weight after her divorce. She is 5’6” and got up to 160 pounds. She considered herself gross and obese. She was previously a size 4. She has been working out and eating better and dropped about 20 pounds. She still has ~10 pounds to go.

Op sounds like she is a similar weight and considers herself small and thin.

My friend also has great style and smells great. Her hair is perfect and she can do wonders with make up. If her hair is in a bun, in glasses and her heavier self, she probably looks like a 2. When she is thin and dolled up, she is probably a 8-9.

[Anonymous]

Lose 10 pounds, get more toned, lose the glasses, get some eyelash extensions, get your hair blown out, wear something fitted that shows off your best features (legs, boobs, butt, arms), wear some boots or heels. I bet you will get more attention.

[Anonymous]

Op seems to be hiding her ethnic background.

Is she mixed white and Asian? Black and white? Black and Latina?

What minority group is she trying to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The incels and their handmaidens have taken over this thread, OP. Sorry, but you are no longer going to get any good advice. It's best you abandon this thread work on your self-esteem, be the best version of you whatever that is. Maybe ask a trusted friend or similarly aged family member for tips. Good luck to you.

We are telling OP to make herself more presentable on dates so she is not constantly rejected. How is that not good advice?

My best friend is newly divorced. She gained a lot of weight after her divorce. She is 5’6” and got up to 160 pounds. She considered herself gross and obese. She was previously a size 4. She has been working out and eating better and dropped about 20 pounds. She still has ~10 pounds to go.

Op sounds like she is a similar weight and considers herself small and thin.

My friend also has great style and smells great. Her hair is perfect and she can do wonders with make up. If her hair is in a bun, in glasses and her heavier self, she probably looks like a 2. When she is thin and dolled up, she is probably a 8-9.

NP here. It’s because you can try to make yourself really pretty but still be not fun to be around if you’re insecure and desperate for a man. Not saying this is OP, just focusing on losing weight is a terrible way to go after a man.

Plus lots of overweight and fat women get great partners they are happy with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op seems to be hiding her ethnic background.

Is she mixed white and Asian? Black and white? Black and Latina?

What minority group is she trying to date?

I posted a pic similar to what I look/dress like earlier in the thread. I'm black and Latina, but I look like a brown skinned black woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op seems to be hiding her ethnic background.

Is she mixed white and Asian? Black and white? Black and Latina?

What minority group is she trying to date?

I posted a pic similar to what I look/dress like earlier in the thread. I'm black and Latina, but I look like a brown skinned black woman

I venture to say it’s your attire and attitude holding you back. You have to be comfortable in your skin and should wear something that makes you feel beautiful and confident. The outfit you posted looks like business attire. A more flirty top, flowy or fitted, can offset more casual bottoms. Heels aren't necessary but your shoes should be on the dressier side (strappy sandals, or similar).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op seems to be hiding her ethnic background.

Is she mixed white and Asian? Black and white? Black and Latina?

What minority group is she trying to date?

I posted a pic similar to what I look/dress like earlier in the thread. I'm black and Latina, but I look like a brown skinned black woman

Do you go for white men? I am mixed (black and white) and NEVER got hit on by white men. Black men hit on me about 20 times a day though.