Why are some girls so lucky in love and others struggle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely believe it is luck -- right place/right time to meet someone who likes you back, luck that you grow together rather than apart, luck to nab a partner who's going to put up with your entitled, nagging, asexual self (just described at least half of my friends) 15 years in, luck that your partner doesn't develop mental or physical health issues that change them, etc.

But I'll get a lot of pushback because people usually prefer to take credit for their wisdom and foresight rather than acknowledge their luck.

Found the love of my life at 21. Worked at the same place. Married at 25. Both utterly in love. Two kids. So happy. Then, he changed, quite dramatically. Not the same person. Cheated. Rejected me. It all was quite shocking to me and all who know him. We are divorcing. Kids and I are traumatized. Point is, you just never know in life.

Similar story. It’s creepy how somebody you (and everyone around you knew/even family) turns out to have a side and character and behavior you never would have imagined in a million years.

How well does anyone ever know another human being?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely believe it is luck -- right place/right time to meet someone who likes you back, luck that you grow together rather than apart, luck to nab a partner who's going to put up with your entitled, nagging, asexual self (just described at least half of my friends) 15 years in, luck that your partner doesn't develop mental or physical health issues that change them, etc.

But I'll get a lot of pushback because people usually prefer to take credit for their wisdom and foresight rather than acknowledge their luck.

Found the love of my life at 21. Worked at the same place. Married at 25. Both utterly in love. Two kids. So happy. Then, he changed, quite dramatically. Not the same person. Cheated. Rejected me. It all was quite shocking to me and all who know him. We are divorcing. Kids and I are traumatized. Point is, you just never know in life.

Similar story. It’s creepy how somebody you (and everyone around you knew/even family) turns out to have a side and character and behavior you never would have imagined in a million years.

How well does anyone ever know another human being?

When after 25 years with someone, it is so disorienting to find everything was not what you thought. The person faked values/morals/character and was a well-versed amazing and accomplished liar and nobody (not even closest family members abs friends, much less spouse) was the wiser.

Changes you forever in a bad way if you ever have experienced that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely believe it is luck -- right place/right time to meet someone who likes you back, luck that you grow together rather than apart, luck to nab a partner who's going to put up with your entitled, nagging, asexual self (just described at least half of my friends) 15 years in, luck that your partner doesn't develop mental or physical health issues that change them, etc.

But I'll get a lot of pushback because people usually prefer to take credit for their wisdom and foresight rather than acknowledge their luck.

Found the love of my life at 21. Worked at the same place. Married at 25. Both utterly in love. Two kids. So happy. Then, he changed, quite dramatically. Not the same person. Cheated. Rejected me. It all was quite shocking to me and all who know him. We are divorcing. Kids and I are traumatized. Point is, you just never know in life.

Similar story. It’s creepy how somebody you (and everyone around you knew/even family) turns out to have a side and character and behavior you never would have imagined in a million years.

How well does anyone ever know another human being?

Married 17 years, together 22. Thought I knew him fairly well. As did all of our friends/family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely believe it is luck -- right place/right time to meet someone who likes you back, luck that you grow together rather than apart, luck to nab a partner who's going to put up with your entitled, nagging, asexual self (just described at least half of my friends) 15 years in, luck that your partner doesn't develop mental or physical health issues that change them, etc.

But I'll get a lot of pushback because people usually prefer to take credit for their wisdom and foresight rather than acknowledge their luck.

Found the love of my life at 21. Worked at the same place. Married at 25. Both utterly in love. Two kids. So happy. Then, he changed, quite dramatically. Not the same person. Cheated. Rejected me. It all was quite shocking to me and all who know him. We are divorcing. Kids and I are traumatized. Point is, you just never know in life.

Similar story. It’s creepy how somebody you (and everyone around you knew/even family) turns out to have a side and character and behavior you never would have imagined in a million years.

How well does anyone ever know another human being?

When after 25 years with someone, it is so disorienting to find everything was not what you thought. The person faked values/morals/character and was a well-versed amazing and accomplished liar and nobody (not even closest family members abs friends, much less spouse) was the wiser.

Changes you forever in a bad way if you ever have experienced that.

I can understand that. But don't cut out of your life the fact there are good people in this world.

[Anonymous]

Some understand that a significant portion of attraction is how you make the other person feel and others do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because some women give off a haughty vibe that men dislike. The "I am so together and so great and very few men meet my standards" type. Men like women who are.down to earth.

Avoid the type of men who would write this.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because some women give off a haughty vibe that men dislike. The "I am so together and so great and very few men meet my standards" type. Men like women who are.down to earth.

Avoid the type of men who would write this.

Why?

Because they like their women insecure.

You can be down to earth and have high standards, but men who like insecure women they can manipulate don’t understand that.

[Anonymous]

Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

Join a church if you're into old fashioned?

[Anonymous]

I think some people have good instincts and can weed out problem relationships from the get go better (though I certainly don't mean to victim-blame people who wind up with horrible partners . . . it's never your fault if someone mistreats you). I've always been able to tell if people are high drama or steady and dependable. I've really never been wrong about letting someone into my life. So maybe I'll only find a potential partner every year or two, but when I do, there's a high probability of it working out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

Social mores and trends don't give people personality disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

What do you mean old fashioned? Like, they would cook and clean for men without question and get married to whoever offered because that was their only chance at financial stability? Whereas women today can earn money on their own so they can opt out of marriage if it involves taking care of a mediocre guy like he is a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

Social mores and trends don't give people personality disorders.

I don’t think that is true:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2018/07/03/america-is-a-nation-of-narcissists-according-to-two-new-studies/

Interestingly enough, the state with the highest levels of narcissism is: Virginia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

What do you mean old fashioned? Like, they would cook and clean for men without question and get married to whoever offered because that was their only chance at financial stability? Whereas women today can earn money on their own so they can opt out of marriage if it involves taking care of a mediocre guy like he is a child?

Except the “old fashioned” standards expected men to be able to fully provide for his wife and family— women definitely did not marry “whoever offered”. The same men who post here yelling about feminism are posting on other threads saying women shouldn’t care how money men make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women today have really changed for the worst of all making love very difficult to find for so many of us single guys today. And back in the old days love was much easier to find since the great majority of women back then were very old fashioned and real ladies, which now most women are real narcissists and feminists .

What do you mean old fashioned? Like, they would cook and clean for men without question and get married to whoever offered because that was their only chance at financial stability? Whereas women today can earn money on their own so they can opt out of marriage if it involves taking care of a mediocre guy like he is a child?

Except the “old fashioned” standards expected men to be able to fully provide for his wife and family— women definitely did not marry “whoever offered”. The same men who post here yelling about feminism are posting on other threads saying women shouldn’t care how money men make.

Ha okay not "whoever offered" but your typical woman certainly couldn't have much in the way of standards because if you weren't married by the age of 23 or so, you were in trouble.