Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends who own in this market had parents give them a down payment, mostly around 100k. It took my husband and I 10 years to save that much and pay off our student loans while throwing away money in rent. Now we are finally in a position to buy and we cant because we aren’t competitive in this crazy market. Meanwhile our friends have turned their first condo/house into their second house and made significant profits while we have eeked by in the same apartment, diligently saving like fools. I don’t begrudge them their privilege, but it enrages me when they aren’t empathetic to our situation or act like they are better than we are because they are homeowners or had the good fortune to be born to parents who gave them a massive leg up over the rest of us.

Is that true of most of the McMansion DMV folks? If so, that actually makes me feel so much better. We saved and worked hard for our down payment. I’m proud of our small home. From here on out, I’ll drive thru the new build areas and laugh at all the runts of the litter unable to break from the tit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends who own in this market had parents give them a down payment, mostly around 100k. It took my husband and I 10 years to save that much and pay off our student loans while throwing away money in rent. Now we are finally in a position to buy and we cant because we aren’t competitive in this crazy market. Meanwhile our friends have turned their first condo/house into their second house and made significant profits while we have eeked by in the same apartment, diligently saving like fools. I don’t begrudge them their privilege, but it enrages me when they aren’t empathetic to our situation or act like they are better than we are because they are homeowners or had the good fortune to be born to parents who gave them a massive leg up over the rest of us.

Is that true of most of the McMansion DMV folks? If so, that actually makes me feel so much better. We saved and worked hard for our down payment. I’m proud of our small home. From here on out, I’ll drive thru the new build areas and laugh at all the runts of the litter unable to break from the tit

Nothing says “I’m a happy, well adjusted individual” like driving by stranger’s homes and laughing at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my friends who own in this market had parents give them a down payment, mostly around 100k. It took my husband and I 10 years to save that much and pay off our student loans while throwing away money in rent. Now we are finally in a position to buy and we cant because we aren’t competitive in this crazy market. Meanwhile our friends have turned their first condo/house into their second house and made significant profits while we have eeked by in the same apartment, diligently saving like fools. I don’t begrudge them their privilege, but it enrages me when they aren’t empathetic to our situation or act like they are better than we are because they are homeowners or had the good fortune to be born to parents who gave them a massive leg up over the rest of us.

Why should your friends give you empathy when their situation and your situation is completely different? You are the product of your parents DNA. No good or bad fortune involved here. You could not have been born to the rich parents of your friends because then you would have been their sibling and equally well off. Sheesh.

Try and live frugally and save up so that you can at least give the leg up to your children. Are you doing that? Or are you like your parents?

I am kind to my friends. That’s what I expect. If I have privilege, I acknowledge my privilege. So for instance, I haven’t experienced infertility and was fortunate to naturally conceive my own kids. But I have friends who have infertility and have really struggled. So as good friend, I can acknowledge my good fortune to them and empathize with their struggles. I can acknowledge that I don’t know what their experience is like and I can say that I am so sorry they have to experience what they are experiencing, and I can admire the character strengths they have to endure countless rounds of IVF, etc. It’s the same thing with a house. They can’t relate to my struggle to buy a house, but they can empathize and acknowledge their good fortune to be handed something they did nothing to earn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

Yes. But it’s for networking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people have more, some people have less. You all would be much happier if you stopped focusing on material things and enjoyed the simple things in life. I grew up with 4 siblings in a 3br/1ba house, and guess what? We were all pretty happy because we didn’t know any different and weren’t fixated on the many people out there with far more than us. Get off the internet and go for a walk. Also if you need therapy there are good resources in the DC area.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

Yes. But it’s for networking.

Exactly. So rich private school kids will know to hire other similarly situated rich private school kids. Normal people don’t do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

Yes. But it’s for networking.

Exactly. So rich private school kids will know to hire other similarly situated rich private school kids. Normal people don’t do this.

It’s social capital which is totally normal in the upper class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a "trend" per se, it's just parents giving their children what they can afford. In your instance, you are hanging out with people whose parents can afford to help with $800+ homes.

This is very common in other parts of the world. The childhood home I grew up in (not here) was given to my dad by his parents.
My DC are preschoolers now, but when the time comes, if I can afford to do it, I will absolutely help with housing.

Sure, I think it's one thing to help with housing, it's another to put them in a home they would never get close to be able to afford. Forgetting even just the principle and interest on these mortgages the property taxes and maintenance alone on these houses would take a chunk out of their salary. There is also the matter of what others in their circle think or know of them. I feel like this is almost a face saving or vanity measure for the parents. Yeah my kid only makes 55K but if I put them in a 800K house nobody will think that, they'll think they're "winners" just like me.

I mean...a $800K in a HCOL area is a starter home anywhere else. You're looking at the price tag instead of the actual house, square footage, and amenities.

Would you prefer the parents let their $55K/year kid buy a trailer home and raise their grandchild there? Because that's what the income affords without intervention.

55K only gets you a trailer home in DC SF or NYC. You can buy a home or an apartment in another town that isn't HCOL after all even with the housing boom now the median home price is around 350K . They are also not necessarily buying them in HCOL areas, just stated it to make a point that the parents could afford to do this or that the children were accustomed to luxury housing. One of them bought in a suburb of Austin TX and at 800K they are living in 4500 sq ft new built Spanish style home with a private pool

Hate to break it to you but $350k is still too expensive for someone making 55k. Isn’t the rule of thumb mortgage=2.5xs income?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

Yes. But it’s for networking.

Exactly. So rich private school kids will know to hire other similarly situated rich private school kids. Normal people don’t do this.

It’s social capital which is totally normal in the upper class.

Which is a huge red flag to normal folks hiring. I believe the original point was : “This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own.”

Seems fair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

Yes. But it’s for networking.

Exactly. So rich private school kids will know to hire other similarly situated rich private school kids. Normal people don’t do this.

I don’t think so. I do interviewing at a law firm and we have a lot of Ivy grade—I’ve never seen a HS on a resume but sometimes if we hire them it comes out later that they went to fancy private school. Maybe they only put it on if they know the resume is going to an alum? It’s not usual and I would think it’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a "trend" per se, it's just parents giving their children what they can afford. In your instance, you are hanging out with people whose parents can afford to help with $800+ homes.

This is very common in other parts of the world. The childhood home I grew up in (not here) was given to my dad by his parents.
My DC are preschoolers now, but when the time comes, if I can afford to do it, I will absolutely help with housing.

Sure, I think it's one thing to help with housing, it's another to put them in a home they would never get close to be able to afford. Forgetting even just the principle and interest on these mortgages the property taxes and maintenance alone on these houses would take a chunk out of their salary. There is also the matter of what others in their circle think or know of them. I feel like this is almost a face saving or vanity measure for the parents. Yeah my kid only makes 55K but if I put them in a 800K house nobody will think that, they'll think they're "winners" just like me.

I mean...a $800K in a HCOL area is a starter home anywhere else. You're looking at the price tag instead of the actual house, square footage, and amenities.

Would you prefer the parents let their $55K/year kid buy a trailer home and raise their grandchild there? Because that's what the income affords without intervention.

55K only gets you a trailer home in DC SF or NYC. You can buy a home or an apartment in another town that isn't HCOL after all even with the housing boom now the median home price is around 350K . They are also not necessarily buying them in HCOL areas, just stated it to make a point that the parents could afford to do this or that the children were accustomed to luxury housing. One of them bought in a suburb of Austin TX and at 800K they are living in 4500 sq ft new built Spanish style home with a private pool

Hate to break it to you but $350k is still too expensive for someone making 55k. Isn’t the rule of thumb mortgage=2.5xs income?

This thread makes zero sense. At best on $55K, they could afford a $150K mortgage so parents are outright buying the home. Who cares. Good for them,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

God, I'm so tired of these worthless adult children who cannot manage to eke out a living for themselves. It's so infuriating. My younger brother is the same way and it's definitely a generational crutch. I don't know how the boomers allowed their kids to make it into 30s and 40s while still supporting them. These "kids" are such a drain on the workforce because they cannot actually do things for themselves. They have no residency, no ingenuity, no resolve. They simple just ask mom and dad to open up their wallets and all their issues solved.

This is precisely why in hiring I look at where these kids went to HS. I want to know if they're part of the man-child class of kids who grew up with substantial wealth and privilege and are unable to leave the nest and make a living on their own. I don't want that class working for me.
Parents, we must do better by our kids. I know it's hard, but teach them how to make it themselves. Your kids will learn a lot through hardship. Even if you can afford more, make them work for it themselves. They will thank you for it in the end - and so will society.

What are you even talking about? Nobody puts their high school on their resume..especially in their 30s and 40s...

Also- many of my peers have had parental help w down payments because they went to grad school and have high paying jobs but didn’t start in them until late 20s / early 30s. Could they have waited and saved up? Sure. But parents chose to help out so their kids would be comfortable. So what? Also, it’s in part cultural. For many Asians, it’s a thing to buy your kids a house.

You clearly don’t know the elite private school crowd. Their HS is always on the resume/LinkedIn . It’s a sign of social class

really? this is a thing?

Yes. But it’s for networking.

Exactly. So rich private school kids will know to hire other similarly situated rich private school kids. Normal people don’t do this.

DP. Yes but it’s not just the HS. It’s all sorts of random stuff the elites look for on resumes and in interviews - Did you row or sail? Play the violin? Where do your parents live? These are all used by the wealthy and powerful to gatekeep who gets hired and try to keep the opportunities within their circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a "trend" per se, it's just parents giving their children what they can afford. In your instance, you are hanging out with people whose parents can afford to help with $800+ homes.

This is very common in other parts of the world. The childhood home I grew up in (not here) was given to my dad by his parents.
My DC are preschoolers now, but when the time comes, if I can afford to do it, I will absolutely help with housing.

Sure, I think it's one thing to help with housing, it's another to put them in a home they would never get close to be able to afford. Forgetting even just the principle and interest on these mortgages the property taxes and maintenance alone on these houses would take a chunk out of their salary. There is also the matter of what others in their circle think or know of them. I feel like this is almost a face saving or vanity measure for the parents. Yeah my kid only makes 55K but if I put them in a 800K house nobody will think that, they'll think they're "winners" just like me.

I mean...a $800K in a HCOL area is a starter home anywhere else. You're looking at the price tag instead of the actual house, square footage, and amenities.

Would you prefer the parents let their $55K/year kid buy a trailer home and raise their grandchild there? Because that's what the income affords without intervention.

55K only gets you a trailer home in DC SF or NYC. You can buy a home or an apartment in another town that isn't HCOL after all even with the housing boom now the median home price is around 350K . They are also not necessarily buying them in HCOL areas, just stated it to make a point that the parents could afford to do this or that the children were accustomed to luxury housing. One of them bought in a suburb of Austin TX and at 800K they are living in 4500 sq ft new built Spanish style home with a private pool

Hate to break it to you but $350k is still too expensive for someone making 55k. Isn’t the rule of thumb mortgage=2.5xs income?

This thread makes zero sense. At best on $55K, they could afford a $150K mortgage so parents are outright buying the home. Who cares. Good for them,

At 55K you can absolutely get approved for a 250K mortgage and that doesn't include a down payment so 300K isn't insane.