Can we talk about parents buying their adult children luxury homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

Did you pay your parents back the initial sum they gave you from the equity? I can’t imagine just keeping such a large sum of ‘help’ if I was able to pay it back. Dh and I did the normal scrimp and save for our first starter home and built our own equity. It’s much more satisfying knowing mommy and daddy didn’t do it for us.

+1 completely agree. I feel like it would be embarrassing and infantilizing to accept so much money for a house when you could afford one on your own, just not an 800k one

You can't fathom it because your parents don't have extreme excess wealth that they can't spend fast enough before they die. There is no need to "pay it back" because it will just come right back to them anyway. These kids will get the money one way or another: they got it for school, for all of the high end belongings their whole lives, their first car, investment accounts from birth and maybe even a trust fund, and so on, the house is just another thing for super wealthy people to spend money on and this one is actually a long term investment.

[Anonymous]

Good for them. You sound jealous. I can't afford it, but I wish I could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a "trend" per se, it's just parents giving their children what they can afford. In your instance, you are hanging out with people whose parents can afford to help with $800+ homes.

This is very common in other parts of the world. The childhood home I grew up in (not here) was given to my dad by his parents.
My DC are preschoolers now, but when the time comes, if I can afford to do it, I will absolutely help with housing.

Sure, I think it's one thing to help with housing, it's another to put them in a home they would never get close to be able to afford. Forgetting even just the principle and interest on these mortgages the property taxes and maintenance alone on these houses would take a chunk out of their salary.
There is also the matter of what others in their circle think or know of them. I feel like this is almost a face saving or vanity measure for the parents. Yeah my kid only makes 55K but if I put them in a 800K house nobody will think that, they'll think they're "winners" just like me.

I don't see why that matters. DH and I received no financial help from our parents towards housing, but many of our friends did. I'm happy for them and don't judge them for living in a house they couldn't afford to live in without help.

Agree. Unfortunately, with Biden's inflation seems like we will all need to help our kids with housing at this rate.

🙄🙄🙄

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like you suffer from jealousy issues. When I was really young I used to be like you — trust me and work on this issue you have and you will be far happier. It’s a toxic, toxic mindset to be always focused on what other people have, and it’s draining to be doing constant mental acrobatics like “well what I have is more satisfying because mommy and daddy didn’t buy it” and starting threads on anonymous Internet forums.

Lastly, at the end of the day what other people have is legitimately none of your business, so please move on with your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sure, I think it's one thing to help with housing, it's another to put them in a home they would never get close to be able to afford. Forgetting even just the principle and interest on these mortgages the property taxes and maintenance alone on these houses would take a chunk out of their salary. There is also the matter of what others in their circle think or know of them. I feel like this is almost a face saving or vanity measure for the parents. Yeah my kid only makes 55K but if I put them in a 800K house nobody will think that, they'll think they're "winners" just like me.

Bold 1 - why is this distinction important? if the child has proven they are responsible otherwise financially and this level of help is within their means, this can be a big help

Bold 2 - what is to say the parent didn't buy it outright for them? Then they just have to pay property taxes and maintenance. Or maybe the parent plans to continue to provide for them to pay these too

and I can't stress this one enough

Bold 3 - mind your own business. They don't care what you think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please.

My parents did this, and it helped us build equity in a good investment. After a while we sold our first home and bought our second without any additional help.

It’s not different than any other advantages the well off have.

Did you pay your parents back the initial sum they gave you from the equity? I can’t imagine just keeping such a large sum of ‘help’ if I was able to pay it back. Dh and I did the normal scrimp and save for our first starter home and built our own equity. It’s much more satisfying knowing mommy and daddy didn’t do it for us.

+1 completely agree. I feel like it would be embarrassing and infantilizing to accept so much money for a house when you could afford one on your own, just not an 800k one

Agree. My parents gave me a small sum to help us with our first house and we paid it back. Being an adult means actling like one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a "trend" per se, it's just parents giving their children what they can afford. In your instance, you are hanging out with people whose parents can afford to help with $800+ homes.

This is very common in other parts of the world. The childhood home I grew up in (not here) was given to my dad by his parents.
My DC are preschoolers now, but when the time comes, if I can afford to do it, I will absolutely help with housing.

Sure, I think it's one thing to help with housing, it's another to put them in a home they would never get close to be able to afford. Forgetting even just the principle and interest on these mortgages the property taxes and maintenance alone on these houses would take a chunk out of their salary. There is also the matter of what others in their circle think or know of them. I feel like this is almost a face saving or vanity measure for the parents. Yeah my kid only makes 55K but if I put them in a 800K house nobody will think that, they'll think they're "winners" just like me.

But they are "Winners" because they won the inheritance lottery. They won generational wealth which will make their and their children's life easier. It is not as if the parents can take the wealth with them when they die, so why not give a tremendous leg up to their heirs? It is there to set up their children and give them a great life. (It may trigger envious Losers though)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tax the shit out of it. This is what privilege is.

I disagree with this. A lot of these parents worked, scrimped, and saved to get there. They didn't not spend money on crazy things - they saved and bought homes, they ate out once a month, they didn't do lavish things with their kids. Now they have money and lots of it. Their sacrifices and hard work gave them that money. Now, you see those who have astounding higher education debt, taking jobs (or not) that have easy hours, taking lavish vacations, and spending money eating out all the time pissed at others having wealth that obtained it through sacrifice. They want to tax their capital gains and inheritances. It is petty.

[Anonymous]

My parents helped me buy my first place at 24. I lived at home after college graduation and during my time in the police academy and rookie year. They offered me enough help so that I could afford the mortgage without a roommate. It wasn't in my best interest to have a roommate given my job. Once I met my future husband and we built a house together I used the equity from my first place as part of our down payment. My parents are pretty wealthy so it wasn't a burden to them and like someone else posted, the money would come back to me at some point. My mom said she would rather see me use some of my inheritance while she was still alive.

[Anonymous]

I thought OP would be talking about $2M+ homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it's not new for parents to help their adult kids out with their first home financially but the number of parents I know buying their adult kids luxury homes is astounding. Has this become a new trend? I recently reunited with a few old friends from high school (we are now all in our early 30s and yes we grew up in expensive homes in a HCOL area) and a number of them have managed to buy 800K plus homes with their parents co-signing the mortgage because they would never be approved for it on their own. These people include a lawyer who put out a shingle and ekes out 65k a year, a friend who went to dental school and has the loans to prove it but upon graduation got married and pregnant and never practiced while her husband is a middle school teacher and an HR assistant at a fortune 500 company making 55k a year. I get helping your kids but why buy them such expensive houses when there salary would never justify it?

Maybe the HR assistant bought $1000 of Etherium in December 2016 and paid for the house in CASH. You assume a lot and have a toxic jealous mind. you should focus on yourself and not worry about the financial circumstances of others. It isn't healthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it's not new for parents to help their adult kids out with their first home financially but the number of parents I know buying their adult kids luxury homes is astounding. Has this become a new trend? I recently reunited with a few old friends from high school (we are now all in our early 30s and yes we grew up in expensive homes in a HCOL area) and a number of them have managed to buy 800K plus homes with their parents co-signing the mortgage because they would never be approved for it on their own. These people include a lawyer who put out a shingle and ekes out 65k a year, a friend who went to dental school and has the loans to prove it but upon graduation got married and pregnant and never practiced while her husband is a middle school teacher and an HR assistant at a fortune 500 company making 55k a year. I get helping your kids but why buy them such expensive houses when there salary would never justify it?

Because they can. I mean... Eventually those kids will get that money anyway. Why wait to give it to them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trust you are reading the news about the increasing gap between the haves and the have nots? This is what it looks like to build generational wealth.

+1. Soon enough the ruling class will demand titles.

You should be on London Urban Moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some others have mentioned it but.. where are the luxury homes for 800k? Even 900k? I'm thinking about buying a fixer upper for 750k+...

OP must be in the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it's not new for parents to help their adult kids out with their first home financially but the number of parents I know buying their adult kids luxury homes is astounding. Has this become a new trend? I recently reunited with a few old friends from high school (we are now all in our early 30s and yes we grew up in expensive homes in a HCOL area) and a number of them have managed to buy 800K plus homes with their parents co-signing the mortgage because they would never be approved for it on their own. These people include a lawyer who put out a shingle and ekes out 65k a year, a friend who went to dental school and has the loans to prove it but upon graduation got married and pregnant and never practiced while her husband is a middle school teacher and an HR assistant at a fortune 500 company making 55k a year. I get helping your kids but why buy them such expensive houses when there salary would never justify it?

Maybe the HR assistant bought $1000 of Etherium in December 2016 and paid for the house in CASH. You assume a lot and have a toxic jealous mind. you should focus on yourself and not worry about the financial circumstances of others. It isn't healthy

They've openly admitted to their parents co signing so there's no assumption there. There is no jealousy here, I personally would not allow for my parents to co-sign a jumbo loan for me in my 30s. I just find it infantilizing and you'll always be beholden to your parents for their financial help rather than growing up and being an adult.