ES Parents, please listen in to one or two zoom classes to make sure your kid isn’t “that kid”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents who dismiss teacher’s comments about behavior simply because they cannot “see” the behavior. Meaning, they ignore it, whereas a teacher in a classroom of 25 students cannot ignore the behavior as it is preventing learning from happening.

While harnessing children’s behavior with jobs and tasks work with some children, it is not helpful for all. For example, it is effective for early finishers that disrupt others who are still working, but it for the student running around the classroom or refusing to work. That student will learn disruption=reward, and while it is a band aid for that time period, the cycle will continue as it becomes a learned behavior. When that student goes to another class and the teacher does not continue the cycle, that does not make the teacher a poor teacher nor not liking children as a PP stated. There is nothing magical about reinforcing negative behaviors, but there is something magical about a teacher-parent collaboration that encourages and supports growth.

That is not what happens. Actually what happens is a bond develops between the problem child, the teacher and the class, and that solves a lot of the behavioral problems right there. But some people prefer the satisfaction they get from punishing -- winning -- rather than changing the problem student for the better.

I've even seen teachers ignoring the PITA child -- always a boy -- who raises his hand over and over and over and never gets called on because he's the PITA kid. That's wrong. Again, I'm not talking about my own kids but what I've seen sitting in on classes.

But isn’t the whole point of parenting to prepare our kids to adapt to various environments? That they need to be respectful and listen regardless of whether they have a “special bond” with their teacher or not? My kids’ teachers have ranged from outstanding to very “meh” in terms of classroom management and my kids know — because I have actually taken my time to, y’know, parent them — how to behave regardless.

Yes, of course, but most of these kids are missing something at home. You assume I am defending the parenting but I'm not -- I'm defending the problem children. Big difference. Adults should give a crap about children, and if they aren't being parented well then you should have some sympathy for them.

Listen to this: https://interactive.wbez.org/room205/

There is a scene where a boy in 4th grade, who has seen his mother shot by her boyfriend and is basically being raised by siblings, is dragged in front of the class so his classmates can tell him what a PITA he is and how much he gets in the way of their ability to learn. That is just disgusting. Then when he is placed in foster care he cries -- why? Because he won't be able to see his classmates or his teacher anymore. He needs them -- because he has nothing at home. He also acts out in class for the same reason.

Kids who are craving attention should get it. They shouldn't be punished for begging for what they need (and deserve as children), which is what being disruptive is.

I know many people think other kids don't "deserve" more because hey, that takes away from what their kid gets, but actually it would take care of the problem for your kids too because the "problem child" would be a lot easier to deal with if they got a tiny scrap of attention and concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents who dismiss teacher’s comments about behavior simply because they cannot “see” the behavior. Meaning, they ignore it, whereas a teacher in a classroom of 25 students cannot ignore the behavior as it is preventing learning from happening.

While harnessing children’s behavior with jobs and tasks work with some children, it is not helpful for all. For example, it is effective for early finishers that disrupt others who are still working, but it for the student running around the classroom or refusing to work. That student will learn disruption=reward, and while it is a band aid for that time period, the cycle will continue as it becomes a learned behavior. When that student goes to another class and the teacher does not continue the cycle, that does not make the teacher a poor teacher nor not liking children as a PP stated. There is nothing magical about reinforcing negative behaviors, but there is something magical about a teacher-parent collaboration that encourages and supports growth.

That is not what happens. Actually what happens is a bond develops between the problem child, the teacher and the class, and that solves a lot of the behavioral problems right there. But some people prefer the satisfaction they get from punishing -- winning -- rather than changing the problem student for the better.

I've even seen teachers ignoring the PITA child -- always a boy -- who raises his hand over and over and over and never gets called on because he's the PITA kid. That's wrong. Again, I'm not talking about my own kids but what I've seen sitting in on classes.

But isn’t the whole point of parenting to prepare our kids to adapt to various environments? That they need to be respectful and listen regardless of whether they have a “special bond” with their teacher or not? My kids’ teachers have ranged from outstanding to very “meh” in terms of classroom management and my kids know — because I have actually taken my time to, y’know, parent them — how to behave regardless.

Yes, it is. But it's a decades-long process. And all adults are involved in the process, including teachers, in a positive or negative way.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents who dismiss teacher’s comments about behavior simply because they cannot “see” the behavior. Meaning, they ignore it, whereas a teacher in a classroom of 25 students cannot ignore the behavior as it is preventing learning from happening.

While harnessing children’s behavior with jobs and tasks work with some children, it is not helpful for all. For example, it is effective for early finishers that disrupt others who are still working, but it for the student running around the classroom or refusing to work. That student will learn disruption=reward, and while it is a band aid for that time period, the cycle will continue as it becomes a learned behavior. When that student goes to another class and the teacher does not continue the cycle, that does not make the teacher a poor teacher nor not liking children as a PP stated. There is nothing magical about reinforcing negative behaviors, but there is something magical about a teacher-parent collaboration that encourages and supports growth.

That is not what happens. Actually what happens is a bond develops between the problem child, the teacher and the class, and that solves a lot of the behavioral problems right there. But some people prefer the satisfaction they get from punishing -- winning -- rather than changing the problem student for the better.

I've even seen teachers ignoring the PITA child -- always a boy -- who raises his hand over and over and over and never gets called on because he's the PITA kid. That's wrong. Again, I'm not talking about my own kids but what I've seen sitting in on classes.

But isn’t the whole point of parenting to prepare our kids to adapt to various environments? That they need to be respectful and listen regardless of whether they have a “special bond” with their teacher or not? My kids’ teachers have ranged from outstanding to very “meh” in terms of classroom management and my kids know — because I have actually taken my time to, y’know, parent them — how to behave regardless.

Yes, of course, but most of these kids are missing something at home. You assume I am defending the parenting but I'm not -- I'm defending the problem children. Big difference. Adults should give a crap about children, and if they aren't being parented well then you should have some sympathy for them.

Listen to this: https://interactive.wbez.org/room205/

There is a scene where a boy in 4th grade, who has seen his mother shot by her boyfriend and is basically being raised by siblings, is dragged in front of the class so his classmates can tell him what a PITA he is and how much he gets in the way of their ability to learn. That is just disgusting. Then when he is placed in foster care he cries -- why? Because he won't be able to see his classmates or his teacher anymore. He needs them -- because he has nothing at home. He also acts out in class for the same reason.

Kids who are craving attention should get it. They shouldn't be punished for begging for what they need (and deserve as children), which is what being disruptive is.

I know many people think other kids don't "deserve" more because hey, that takes away from what their kid gets, but actually it would take care of the problem for your kids too because the "problem child" would be a lot easier to deal with if they got a tiny scrap of attention and concern.

Oh, no doubt. I don’t disagree with any of this. But that’s a very different situation than the parents on this thread who insist that how their kid acts at school is not their responsibility.

[Anonymous]

If “that kid” is one of your kids friends, stop allowing them to be friends.

If “that kid” is the child of one of your friends, contact your friend and let them know that their inability to monitor their kid is preventing your kid from learning. Stop associating with the family if the behavior continues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

We found the mom with the bratty kids. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s no coincidence that the disruptive attention-seeking kids have the parents who can’t be bothered to spend 5 minutes supervising them.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.[/quote

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

I have a chatty kid now in MS. So far, he has never got into major trouble at school but occasionally we would get an email that he was too social or distracting others because of talking, excitement about the topic, etc. He recognizes his behavior and realizes he does this when he is bored. I did notice that some teachers never described him as chatty or disruptive. These were the same teachers that had strong classroom management and also found things for him (e.g., teacher helper, extra assignment, read quietly) to do if he finished his work early or was really excited about the topic lesson. I think it is my responsibility to teach him to be respectful, listen to the teacher, deal with boredom, etc. and I always backed the teacher if I received an email or we discussed this issue in person during a PT conference. However, I also think some teachers are better at engaging students and managing their classrooms. I think the solution is both parties must take responsibility for students.

Isn’t that exactly what the OP is saying? Take parent responsibility and listen in on a few to make sure you kid is using manners, following directions, and isn’t typing away on chats, leaving the screen, unmuting, making funny faces, etc....? What is the problem with that.

No one is denying kids, teachers, and parents all have various personalities and skills. But that the parents takes initiative on this zoom class to help their own child, the teacher, and the rest of the class have a positive experience. Parents still sleeping, yelling the teachers it is their problem, or just throw their hands up are ignorant. Not only to the teacher and the other students trying to learn, but their own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If “that kid” is one of your kids friends, stop allowing them to be friends.

If “that kid” is the child of one of your friends, contact your friend and let them know that their inability to monitor their kid is preventing your kid from learning. Stop associating with the family if the behavior continues.

What a mean spirited thing to do to a child and their family. I wouldn't wan to be friend with you no matter how well behaved your kid is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

We found the mom with the bratty kids. LOL

Ugh, there are so many mean and immature parents in this area it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about anything. Actually one of my kids is the rare bird who actually listens in school so teachers adore him. That's the way he is. Personally I like all kinds of personalities and this area is just stultifying to anyone creative or with an intellect -- because of attitudes like the ones on this thread.

MCPS has gone downhill because of the quality of the families living here now. Boring and robotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A**hole kids have a**hole parents. They weren't parenting their child properly before, they're not going to start now. Email your teacher and ask him/her to mute problematic students or all students when she is speaking and have students utilize the "raise hand" button if they have a question.

x10000

Yep.

Then they would have to disable chat as well as video screens. Because my kid’s 5th grade class has multiple kids chatting away during the class. Making faces, dancing, etc... The same ones that did this in the classroom. And they aren’t kids in foster care or needy kids like another PP mention. They are raised by privilege parents who are barely raising entitled kids with no consequences. Easier to get them labeled something than admit their parenting skills suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

We found the mom with the bratty kids. LOL

Ugh, there are so many mean and immature parents in this area it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about anything. Actually one of my kids is the rare bird who actually listens in school so teachers adore him. That's the way he is. Personally I like all kinds of personalities and this area is just stultifying to anyone creative or with an intellect -- because of attitudes like the ones on this thread.

MCPS has gone downhill because of the quality of the families living here now. Boring and robotic.

Oh okay, so now it is the other parents, the other families, the teachers AND the county. Not your kid though. Got it. Sounds like your perfect kids that just need some excitement during the day should be homeschooled. I bet you would be perfect at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

We found the mom with the bratty kids. LOL

Ugh, there are so many mean and immature parents in this area it's impossible to have an intelligent conversation about anything. Actually one of my kids is the rare bird who actually listens in school so teachers adore him. That's the way he is. Personally I like all kinds of personalities and this area is just stultifying to anyone creative or with an intellect -- because of attitudes like the ones on this thread.

MCPS has gone downhill because of the quality of the families living here now. Boring and robotic.

Oh okay, so now it is the other parents, the other families, the teachers AND the county. Not your kid though. Got it. Sounds like your perfect kids that just need some excitement during the day should be homeschooled. I bet you would be perfect at it.

Like I said, I wasn't talking about my own kids. I was defending children whose parents you freely admit suck at parenting. They're still kids. They should still be cared about by adults in their community -- especially their teachers. Caring about other people's kids is obviously an alien concept to you.

I'll just leave this thread now, and you can think that you won an intellectual argument when the reality is that someone just gave up on talking to you and walked away. Bye.

[Anonymous]

People are dying and losing their jobs and you are worried about “that kid” ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are dying and losing their jobs and you are worried about “that kid” ?

No kidding. And tearing apart parents while they’re at it. People they don’t even know and who may or may not have struggles and situations they aren’t privy to.

[Anonymous]

Agree OP. My kid is super anxious and was really excited about these zoom classes. It ended up being a total complete mess because two kids (boy and girl) were constantly unmuting and saying things over and over again. They are older kids. They know better. The teacher ended up kicking one of the kids off because he couldn’t stop unmuting and texting with repeated warnings. Not sure if they have problems in school or what, but it ended up ruining the entire hour and my daughter was teary-eyed and even more anxious afterwards. So that was a whole other discussion to have. It won’t go as planned. Be flexible etc. I wondered if those kids have involved parents. How could they let them behave like that over and over again. Allowing them to be this way, but after reading this thread it seems like it doesn’t matter. Parents don’t need to help and it seems the teachers need to either accept them interrupting or kick them out of the class. And just because people are dying doesn’t kids the right to behave that way and ruin the other 25 experiences. Fingers crossed it is better on Monday or we will just stop zoom classes and do the printed work without them.